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Yay, I have insomnia and the chest cold from hell. That's a super fun combination. I forget - are you supposed to just let the fever run its course or are you supposed to take ibuprofen and pray to die? I figure I'll do that second one after I get sick of the first one.

Oi, anyone know where you can find one of those tiny little flag pins that all the presidential candidates wear or any politician really. I don't want one that looks fake but I want one that isn't hundreds of dollars either.

I also need a bar stool or chair for my costume but I figured those are easy enough to find or make myself... I suppose I should get going on this costume thing.

Valarnet. Vaaallaarrnet. Good place for online promotion and viral marketing or just a spot to grab cheap porn? Either way, I'm there. Gabriel. I write and direct for TV and if you own a set, or look at Bilboards, you've probably heard of Boardwalk (8:00, Tuesdays) and the ongoing adventures of Holly Go-Heavily, Chloe Patterson, Matt Wentzel, Fabian The Poolboy, and all the others on the beach. Just when you thought it was safe to come OUT of the water.

Anyway. Here to promote the Hell out of this baby, and to say hi to the people I know who've ended up here. Hi Jimmy! I'm back in town after the promo tour, so we should do a thing. My people, your secretary? Let's give them each other's numbers and see what they can put together for us, huh?

Everybody else? Feel free to go ahead and hit me up.

Talk about awkward Hey Clark? You didn't exactly give me your phone number so asking you about your Halloween costume for next weekend is kind of hard. No, not hard. Just public. It's public.

I know I'm probably going to get a lot of eyerolls for saying it, but Jennifer Lopez's new fall line is really gorgeous. I keep buying more items and I didn't even realize I was doing it. Yesterday when Finnick and I went out to dinner I was wearing Jennifer Lopez from head to toe. She has these really cute black or white chiffon wide-leg palazzo pants that I bought in black and they are basically my new favorite thing. They look like a skirt when you're standing still, but when you move it's easy to tell they're pants. So, it's like wearing a long fancy skirt, but with the movement and freedom of pants. I'm in love.

I feel like I should mention that Lauren Conrad's fall line is really pretty too. I bought a couple of her tops and a cute new maroon blazer.

But I mean... If people like Jennifer Lopez and Lauren Conrad can make cute fall lines then wouldn't it be safe to assume that I could too?

When you grow up Catholic, there are a lot of statues around.

So you go to Catholic School and all school is boring... but sometimes you think: Hey, if that statue over there started to move, it would make my day a heck of a lot more interesting.

You get into a staring contest with a statue -- and of course you lose, because Hey! It's a statue! You're gonna lose the starting contest, mate! But you dare the statue to move or do something creepy...



...I really regret making those dares now. Cos... my house is filled with little statues. FILLED WITH THEM!

I've been so scatterbrained and this happened last month, but I just wanted everyone to know that... I really appreciate the gifts that got sent to the hospital while I was stuck in there.

I'm out now, I've been out for a few weeks, and it's all been kind of crazy... Physical therapists and meetings and trying to get life back on track. But it really cheered me up, and you guys here on the Valarnet are amazing.

They gave me this ugly cane to use while I'm recovering, it was horrible! So I bought some glitter and ribbons and gems and really blinged it out. Now it's the most awesome cane in the history of ever. Check it out!

[ Awesome Picture Here ]

Mia! We should go shopping or get smoothies or something! Since I can't run with you just yet.

I need to talk to my friends!

Oh, Frodo! We forgot something.

Dear Valarnet, I need your help in settling a dispute with a work colleague.

Marvin the Martian: obnoxious or hilarious?

As you can see, it's very important.

Okay. Got the cards ready for tomorrow's edition.

Rita Skeeter Bingo is a go.

My parents are worried about me not socializing enough, so they said I have to post on here. They're like, reverse Chris Hansen-ing me, what the fuck. If they don't want me they could just ship me off to boarding school. Or I don't know, fucking wait it out like I am - I graduate in June, it's not like they have that long to wait.

Hey, I guess.

I haven't the faintest idea what I'll be for Halloween. I wasn't aware adults were expected to still dress up for it.

Nor was I aware that 'Sexy Big Bird' was an actual thing, for which I was much happier.

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft.

I'm not pregnant. I'm just getting fat!

To hell with not drinking on the job. I'm getting a beer on my break.

I ... I... I didn't... I didn't... not with Mr. Kirk, not ever... and he's ... he's not a 'cure', there is not... you can't 'cure' that, lesbians are just lesbians...

Cheap motels are the best.

For the record I'm still a virgin!

I don't care how ridiculous her stories are, I like Skeeter. She's the only who ever gives updates on the Cat Lady.

I can't speak to Mai's situation before Kasumi took her in out of the kindness of her heart, but here's what I can say.

1: They aren't lesbian lovers. I know this because Kasumi and I are involved.
2: Yes, we are. And yes, I'm certain she's not sleeping with Mai behind my back.
3: The couch is made up like a bed, where the other girl sleeps.


4: None of this was any of anyone's goddamn business, but I don't mind telling the entire world about us anyway. I'd rather you heard it from me than some fucking tabloid.

I wonder if Miss Skeeter realizes that I've never so much as held a woman's hand, much less had a sexual encounter with one. Women are, point of fact, allowed to eat a meal together without immediate sexual relations afterward.

Then again, Natasha, however will I recover from your lies. You wound me.

I think Rita is asking me in a stealthy way for 'marital aids' for herself.

Ask and ye shall recieve! I have a few hundred spares, consider them en route. (Really, I find this whole thing funny. I have not had a dalliance outside of work in a while.)

Ollie, would you like to add to her care package(s)?