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Well since my twin sister has introduced herself to the world, in her own unique way, I guess I'd better do the same.

I'm Draco Malfoy and I'm sure I'll get to know you all pretty soon, some probably more than I want to.

At what point does a "vintage" costume become just hopelessly, "this is probably what my grandfather wore for halloween" levels of sad? Not that I'm changing my mind because it's seriously the coolest thing I could think of to do, but dressing up as a comic book character who isn't even being written anymore? If this was NEXT year the costume might actually make SENSE but right now? I'm either way ahead of the cool curve, or just pathetically sad. Hard to say, really...

Steady pace tonight but so far run of the mill calls really. Aside this guy who got bit by a opposum, anyway...

How disturbing.

[Nyota]
I doubt you would question my fidelity based on a tabloid well known for fabricating its material. Still, I think it worthwhile to mention that I would not betray you in such a way.

[Doctor McCoy]
It appears I am now a minor celebrity.

I hate that Skeeter woman.

Thank you to everyone who came and helped me move yesterday. I can't believe we got it all done so fast! And the old place is clean, too, surprisingly so. Landlord says I'll get my full deposit back. Sounds great, right?

Winona loves having a yard. She spent almost the whole day yesterday sniffing around the fence. I think she's in doggy heaven.

I GOT ANOTHER MENTION! Not sure how much Mum and Da will like this one, but... MAKES ME HAPPY! That and I actually slept in past sunrise this morning. Woop!

That Skeeter's a fucking laugh riot.

OMG, people who are famous for random shit have sex!1111!!!!! News at 11. Or they don't, because Skeeter's not even a good troll. lol, seriously, she's been doing this HOW LONG and is surprised that someone decided that she was a bitch and decided to let her know that in person?

Needs more popcorn.gif

Excuse me? You know, if your life had gone to complete chaos, you wouldn't be shaving either, the only thing remotely scandalous about the Jubilee thing is our ages, which isn't even THAT bad, since we're legal and consenting, and the last woman who got a black eye or anything else from me was a fencing teacher when I accidentally lost grip on my rapier and launched it at her face. When I was like fifteen.

I'm not even gonna say that that's about to change, but sometimes you do wish you were that asshole who went after media, you know?

...Can you do Sunday bailouts in L.A?

I'm so sorry, Fenris. The tabloids have it right.

I am in love with the dwarf.

Is this a weekly occurrence?

Okay, I got inspired by Colombo's idea down there.

Rita Skeeter Bingo. I'm working on the cards right now.

The paper edition of that trash has mysteriously been spontaneously combusting. I wonder why that is. BURNBURNBURNBURNBURN

Yes, I like kinky, rough sex. I own a crop, and the whole leather outfit, and everything.

All my partners consented.

Like Ollie would hit me. I'd kick his ass from here to New York, yo!

I do not think people realize how loud they are when they whisper. I can hear you when you call me a slut or some other name you feel is appropriate. I can still hear you when you comment on the people my parents must be to raise someone that would be involved in such a thing.

And I can also hear you when you wonder how Jim is in bed. How about you ask him? Want to know how I am in bed? Why don't you ask someone that might actually know. It is going to be the closest any of you are going to get to finding out.

Anyone actually know this Rita woman? Like in person.

Today is not helping me with my anger management issues.

I bet she shops at Wal-mart for everything. Their everyday low prices are hard to escape. And it's not like this crap she writes actually pays that well.

'What were you doing in Wal-mart Miss Windrunner?'.

None of your goddamned business, Miss Skeeter. But since you brought it up, having passionate sex in their bathrooms was the furthest thing from it. Those bathrooms aren't even clean enough to consider such a thing.

And that woman wasn't even the same woman from the coffee shop.

You know. I'm not even sure I'm a 1 on the Kinsey Scale, but if this Skeeter person is going to keep implying that I'm a lesbian, I might have to give this a try at least once.

Mainly since I'd rather be accused of doing something that I've actually done.

And no, that wasn't me. It was me at the coffee shop, but that wasn't me at Wal-mart. Not that any of you specifically care or really know me that well - except for those of you that do. But yeah. Not me.

Pay the woman off and she'll stop writing about you, idiots.

[Bellatrix]

Mom and Dad are furious. They want me to talk to you. I'm going to make this go away, okay? Not for them, for you.

I think Katniss and Peeta are adorable! They're my favorite celebrity couple.

Zevran and I are not in a sexual relationship.

[locked to River]

I think I need to see you dance, it will calm me.

My mother and sister are convinced I have a boyfriend.

You can all blame Lulu for this idea, but I want to do a sexy lingerie party. She'll be designing the underwear.

Ladies only.

My publicist tells me that I've made headlines.

Allow me to make something entirely clear: I am older than Emma Frost.

[Private to Emma]

The exact number of years changing depending on which twenty-ninth birthday you're celebrating this year.

I'd just like to say that not all journalists are crazy gossip crackpots. Some of us actually care about real news.

I feel like I should apologize on half of my profession.

1. "No Shit, There I Was" stories have a surprisingly good effect on your reputation in the holding pens.

2. One of my best friends is dating the hot porn star? What'd I miss?


You go to jail for six days and the whole world explodes.