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Hm. My dreams have a tendency to be pretty violent and heartbreaking.

Seems like I should be more disturbed.

Garrus is home safe. Thank you all for your help.

My God, what a bitch.

I shouldn't have to post this, but I'm going to. Consider it my official statement on the matter.

Commander Tyra Shepard is an upstanding woman and up until a year or so ago, was one of America's finest soldiers. Unless you fought alongside her, you don't get to second-guess that. And it is never alright to bring up anyone's private life in public like that. I don't care who you are.

As my Employee, she has helped shape the kids in her care for the better. She's helped us rebuild, and was a key part of the rescue efforts at the Ranch during the meteor and earthquake. I will not be firing her. Not now, not ever.

I especially will not be firing her over what she chooses to do after hours in her committed and stable relationship. I don't care if that relationship is with a man, woman, bottle of vodka, or electric toaster. You shouldn't either.

She's a good woman and she will be employed at Urdnot Ranch as long as she wants to be. The end.

Awful confessions of the night: I can't stop listening to Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx on the Rock of Ages soundtrack. Cannot. Stop.

Tell me your awful confessions.

Dammit Roy.

I liked it better when he wasn't legally allowed to run away. Anybody want to make some cash tracking down a possibly psychotic idiot?

I need to find a person, and I have a sample of their DNA but how likely is it there's records of them in a database somewhere? Particularly when I'm pretty sure they haven't done anything to end up in one of those? Any other ways that I can look for this person? The DNA seems like the best shot, but...

How do I follow up, exactly?

I know I agreed to help find out more information about these dreams but I am starting to understand why some people keep them to themselves. There are just dreams or memories, or whatever they are, that you want to keep personal so you can think on them, ponder them, cherish them even. I laid in bed so long this morning thinking on my latest dream I was late to practice.

If we came up with a small survey on dreams, in order to learn more, would people be interested in filling it out?

I do not understand why fans of mine send me their underthings. As someone who does not wear them, there is little point! Perhaps they are trying to send some sort of signal? A distress sign? I jest. I know they mean for them to be seen as a sign that they want to have sensual interludes with me, but alas, I am only one man. I cannot get to everyone.

Though I do try, and I like to think that means I am a man of character. Hello! I am Zevran, but you may call me Zev.

Not that I'm going back to the anger management group, but I got Crip the guy I attacked's email, sent him an apology and a Starbucks card. I mean, when you think about, probably the least I could do considering he was bleeding when I got kicked out, right? He's the only one in this who gets an apology though. Well, I mean, unless somebody here was seriously offended by me, but that's starting to look really insincere, and I'm not buying you coffee. The shrink heading it up gets nothing though. Lots of cramping my style from her end, so I can't even feel bad about that.


Well.

I don't feel bad about it from her perspective anyway, let's put it that way. Hated her from the start, and I'm happy to move on, but I'm relatively pissed off about having to start the process all over again. The whole twenty questions routine with me having to come up with answers to all of the questions they inevitably ask, not even to be invasive or suggestive, but to try to READ into my brain and all. I'm already someone's damn science experiment, so I reaaally don't appreciate feeling like one of those again, you know? ( Read more... )


You try explaining all of that to someone new, when my last one really only knew that I was pissed about my arm and not being useful to Ollie ...people anymore. It's not exactly happy dancing unicorn thought inducing, and veers toward the ulcer category.

Anyway. I'm sorry I'm a ragey asshole, valarnet. That's the whole point of this, I guess.




...You try explaining all of that to a shrink...

( Filtered to Ranch People )

Hm. It seems my fellow long-suffering bachelor friends are abandoning their ways.

Did I perhaps miss something? Is it Spring again already?

Guess who got asked to leave anger management group today?

It wasn't the first time people have given me dirty looks when I've been in there, but when I dared refer to my wheelchair using neighbor as "Crip", since I don't care enough to learn the names of the people shafted into this pathetic thing, I kind of made the anger management problem we're all here in the group for flare up again.

So I got punched and a broken nose and the therapist informed me I was disturbing her calm, or whatever it was, she said along those lines, I was tuning her out because the whole thing was bullshit seriously, and I got removed from the group and apparently it's recommended I do private sessions until I'm "ready" to deal with my problems.

It's almost like she read my mind and gave me what I wanted. I'm not actually GOING to work with her, since I said I'd try group therapy and lasted three weeks, which is a lot longer than I agreed to anyway, so really...

I can live with this option. My anger's plenty controled anyway. I just hide it when I'm somewhere that pisses me off, you know?

being sick sucks but at least i'm better now

DJANGO i want to talk to you but my phone's being all weird so hi

You know, I'm not even going to pretend this is a network glitch. I have no shame. Bartender from Stark's gala - are you around?

Most of us are familiar with unusual dreams. If you believe they are real, is there anything you would avoid now?

I know that if I become pregnant, I will die. and so will everyone else So the counter to that is obvious.

[Locked and filtered to: Clarice, Dani, Illyana, Jean, Jubilee, Kitty, Moira, Neena, Rahne, Wade, Xi'an. Also open to Wrex, Obi and Shepard]

I had a conversation with Illyana the other day, and she suggested something that I think might better describe the goal that we should have. I wanted to get this up before I went to bed.

It's not a school. It's more like a Mutant Outreach Center.

I know what you're thinking - "Navi, it's freakin' September, it's way too late to grow any veggies in my garden!". (Then again, it's probably way more likely you're not thinking that, and you probably want a sandwich or something. Either way!) But nay! Nay, I say, now is a great time to grow some yummy crunchy things! Lettuce and kale and swiss chard are all perfect to plant right now, and we've got all of them in stock at the nursery.

Great, now I want a sandwich. I'M SORRY IF I MADE YOU ALL HUNGRY.

Starting to think a little more about my future. Namely...I think I might HAVE one. Is that weird at this point in my life? I've burnt so many bridges, screwed so much up that I can't actually be thinking about what I'm thinking. But, I maybe want a career, and I maybe want to work with kids, like at the ranch only with actual training to do it.

I think I maybe want to be a teacher. Can I even really DO that? It feels too late in a lot of ways, and I'm not exactly smart enough to get into college but... I sort of wanna try it anyway.

It's crazy, isn't it? I mean, what school would look at me and go "he's a great candidate for our program/to work with our kids? I've got a lot to think about, I guess. Looking for perspectives too...

I'm really sorry about just..spiriting away with Illyana. We're okay. We've spent most of today recoveringresting.

( Update on the ranch )


( Locked Posts to Tony Stark, Parker, and Tali )

I think Kolyat is enjoying volunteering at the ranch, even if he tries to hide it.

You know that thing where a Dr. Phil re-run suddenly reveals that somebody's been playing you for YEARS and you were too dense to notice it up until now?

Clearly, I should have done the psych major after all.

Dreaming of your beloved's face seen through a sniper's scope is... distressing.

Another fine example of the "you're not my REAL dad anyway" argument completely derailed tonight's dinner. Clearly, I should have stayed in Nottingham.

Are teenagers always so difficult? Her father insists it's only a phase.

I miss my zen garden.

Fucking hell not Kaiden too and Liara why are you so cold

I did not sleep well. It was good to see Kirrahe again, though.

"Eve" however, is a really badassed woman.

And then my rent bounced...

So, what do people with absolutely no marketable skills do for jobs these days?

The first week of work on rebuilding the ranch has drawn to a close. Things are going pretty smoothly out here. The FBI or some other military or something went ahead and removed the meteor from our back yard. We can replant some grass back there, next spring, I think.

A huge anonymous donation was made to the ranch at the beginning of the week, and I wanted to thank whoever that was. I also wanted to thank the Starks for helping us out here and there by offering me and mine a place to stay, the various organizations that also kept my kids fed and sheltered, and Asgard Equestrian for letting us use one of their buildings to hole up in while we rebuild.

If this goes as quickly as it has been, we should have it all complete before winter.

They better let me out of this bed soon. I'm running out of angry birds to play.

And I want a steak. 5 of them, in fact.

2 more days, they say. It might as well be 2 months.

What are blue teeth and why is this plastic trinket telling me to do things?

Damn this technology.

...someone want to explain the point of PT for someone who doesn't HAVE an arm again? I already told the fucking stupid cow that I'm not GETTING a prosthetic and as soon as the incision's healed, they can just send me home. I'm NOT going down there today, she can't make me, and if she tries I've got a whole lot of projectiles within my reach.

You BET I'm adjusting well.

KATNISS! How's it going?

Hello Valarnet. I'm Tony Stark.

Listen, we're announcing a new prototype phone tomorrow morning. Should ship in September, but I like to get the ball rolling with the people who kept my ass from being bored in the hospital. Here, I present you all with ( a present. )

Should arrive in tomorrow's mail. Let me know what you think. Should be compatable on your networks, if it's not let me know. The first in a long line of Shit You'll Like©.

Does anyone want to help me make sleep completely unnecessary? I don't have enough hours in the day for all that I need to do.

You know how much you all mean to me, right?

Apparently the departure of the swarm of fluffy creatures has convinced my son that he needs a dog.

As horrible as what happened to the ranch really was, this does give us a chance to reassess and make it even better. While we do have most of the funds necessary, we're probably going to need a lot of manpower, and will welcome volunteers. I'll update everyone when we're at that stage. and have the secret underground facilities already built and covered


[Locked to Wrex]

I'm headed to Scott's in the morning to look over some of what he's working on. I thought we should name one of the new buildings after Roy, since he's lost the most of all of us.

Well today just turned out interesting.

I'm currently engaged in Rule 58 of the Bro-code.

International, nonstop flight from London and crossing nine time zones when you're flying by yourself, with just the steady stream of rock music from your ipod and the energy drink you signed an endorsement deal with several years ago, and still own stock in the company for, despite the fact it's been ruled really dangerous and habit forming coursing through your veins? Forging ahead into that, without really thinking about the consequences, miiiight not have been the best idea I've ever had.

But I'm here in California, probably getting some kind of major traffic violation for leaving the plane in the Irvine General parking lot squishing a pile of furry...things under the wheels, but I could honestly give a rat's ass right now. The kid's napping right now, and I didn't realize you could live the life he has and look so fragile.

When he wakes up, I'm going to be here. He agreed to Monday for the surgery and I'm going to be there too. There's failing people one too many times, and I'm glad I finally wised up to that. I told him I wasn't going to fuck things up anymore. We've got one really long road ahead and I'm going to be there, even though I don't have a clue what it's going to mean.

...Guess I did need to come on home after all.

Nothing like divided guilt to ruin what was an absolutely amazing opening ceremony. Seriously. Gorgeous and all ENGLISH and stuff. It's been good here. I've run into some people I vaguely know who are doing other shit now, and I've spent time with my amazing girlfriend and all kinds of stuff like that, but I've got one of those tough and shitty situations that I'm stuck in.

Do I go? Do I stay?

Do I choose the kid that I abandoned who is about to lose the one thing that's really defined him up to this point? Do I choose the girl I love who is facing a major once in a lifetime shot at something not many people get to even DO, who needs my support now more than ever, and another friend who can use support as well?

No matter what I choose, I'm going to hurt somebody here. No matter what I choose I'm going to be the bad guy, and no matter what I choose, it's still going to suck on one end or the other.

I have no idea what to do here. None. Why can't the answer ever be easy?

You know the drugs they're giving you are too good when you wake up from a dream about tentacled alien plant things and just laugh about it.

My life is over.

I could have really done without this. Stupid earthquakes.

...I'd like to investigate the meteor, though.

Urdnot Ranch is in cinders. It seems I need to stop headbutting God on the weekends. Now we've got a fancy new space-rock accessory in our back yard.

We're scattered and a mess, but my staff is making order amongst the chaos.

I wanted to thank everyone who came out to help - staff, the fire department, all the other first responders, and the brave men and women who made their way out there, just out of the kindness of their hearts.

The buildings didn't survive, but the Urdnot Clan did. Every single head is accounted for. Give yourselves a pat on the back, you've earned it.

Strange story about Trabuco Canyon, isn't it? A polar bear? Really?

my friend and I are in the middle of a debate
he says i'm just getting old, i say that i am also getting more distinguished
we need third parties to give their input
keep in mind, i control whether or not some of you receive your bills on time

As more of these blasted cars have parts ran by electrical circuits I'm finding my skills are needed less and less. I spent three hours this morning trying to get the timing chain on a stupid Volkswagen to work. I tweaked it, tightened it, loosened it, did everything imaginable. The problem, a fuse in the circuit box was blocking a connection somewhere. Once the burnt fuse was replaced everything was working fine. Damn thing was manifesting like a worn belt so I treated it like a faulty belt. Hell, the belt even had some decent wear on it.

I'm getting too old for this shit.

E-mails, text messages, thumb-up icons, commentary on blog entries, crippled, butchered and slaughtered writing attempts - all of it virtual, none of it tangible.

Modern man is present everywhere and leaves not a single trace behind.

Letter writing is a dying art. It's a pity and a shame.

It's July. Who gets a cold in the middle of July?

I do, apparently.