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If anyone was wondering why giving General Skywalker a padawan was a bad idea, I woke up holding Ahsoka's braid and the words 'I understand wanting to walk away from the Order' on my lips.

But this time, it wasn't me. I did not fail her, the Order did. The Order failed her as it did me, and Barriss, and all of the Lost Twenty. I should have left with her, it would have made our marriage so much easier on Padme if I had, and Obi-wan could have been made to understand.

It might be an understatement that my dream self can be very frustrating.

In the midst of the ash and chaos, I welcomed a...small bundle of joy? into the world. I'm not sure what the young are called. Pups? Its mother was a beast of burden and faithful companion in my dream world, similar to a horse or camel. Her name is Rooh and I've decided to call her wee one Owen. I think it's a male, anyway.

I missed my birthday this year. I mean, I knew it was happening, I just didn't do anything for it. Same with last year. I think I have a better excuse this year, though. Seems like we, as adults, don't do as much for birthdays as we did when we were kids. They don't seem as important as they used to be.

Or maybe it's just me.

So meditation when you're agitated is pretty near impossible. Maybe I'm not helping by obsessing but I can't seem to make myself quit no matter what I do. Every attempted distraction just comes back around to seeing her in his arms, seeing him worry over her when she had been poisoned, and my rage at the lot of them and their Confederacy. These dreams are going to drive me crazy, I swear and there's very little I can do about it. All I can think to do is let it out before I make myself worse, so here it is:

If Rush Clovis, or any member of the Trade Federation or Separatist, or really anyone else, puts a hand on my wife again I will gut them.

Not sure if that will help, but I do feel a little better.

I attempted to make heart-shaped pancakes this morning. But they came out looking...rather unsavory. They looked like ball sacks when you turned them upside down. I also burned the eggs. I'm hopeless in the kitchen.

That game was painful to watch.

Something is wrong with the fucking universe.

So I might have picked the absolute worst time to give my wife my lightsaber as a show of love for her and dedication to our relationship (no Atton, I literally gave her my lightsaber, you're going to be a father, you shouldn't have such a dirty mind), but I still managed to save all but one of the Senators. Though really, you have a harder time getting into Dex's when he's got a special on Jawa Juice than this bounty hunter had getting into the Galactic Senate building and taking it over. I really hope Washington has better security because I am not in the mood to fly up there and save them if they get taken hostage.

Also, I hate Cad Bane.

I had a welcome surprise today. Just in time really. For the past few months my gifts from the dreams have been..on the fritz, you could say. I lost them completely. I gained some other gifts but they weren't as...nice.

One of the kids had a compound fracture after losing control of her horse. I was able to repair in minutes and I haven't been able to do that in so long that it's a real feeling of relief!

Wiki Link to Auld Lang Syne Lyrics Fun to compare to the gibberish you probably sang last night. Although the Scots Pronunciation Guide is quite nearly gibberish itself.

Incidentally, the word "gibberish" is of Gaelic origin. Irish, though.

Happy New Year

So the Knighting ceremony was interesting. Kinda surprised Yoda didn't take the opportunity to behead me when he had the chance, but it went well. I wish I had been there myself to give my braid to Padme but I guess now that we're married I have to be careful about my absences from the Temple. Obi-wan probably would have noticed if I had run off right away.

Also my knight robes showed up and they are the most comfortable clothes ever. I am never taking them off.

I forgot to post about this because I've been so busy with taking care of him.

Anakin decided to surprise me with a puppy for Christmas! This is Artoo and he's a Pomsky (mix of a Pomeranian and a Husky) and absolutely adorable!
( Visible to all - cut for picture size )

I just need to get started on training him and he needs friends. Who has dogs he can play with?

Unfortunately, I will not be able to do any construction work today...and possibly for a few days longer. Weeks? I hope not very long at all, but there's no predicting how long my current circumstances will last. There too much of I risk I will injure myself in this state.

I regret wishing for a little more wisdom.

Does it still count as phantom pain when you feel your arm getting lopped off in a dream when you lost the same arm here? I woke up with it stinging and burning and all you can really do for that is take a pain killer and hope it acts like some kind of placebo. At least I'm not feeling any after effects from the force lighting, not even static electricity.

Also, note to self and really any one else who finds themselves fighting along side Obi-wan Kenobi against a Sith Lord: When he says 'No, Anakin (or whatever your name is), don't!' listen to him. You might actually get to keep all your limbs and not have your ass handed to you by an old man.

[Obi-wan]
So. Geonosis. I think that could have probably gone better. What happened to Dooku? I thought he retired when he left the Order, how and when did he become a Sith?

[Padme]
You love me.

It's cold comfort but in my dreams at least I had the chance to be at my mother's funeral.

i couldn't save her. i wasxn't strong enough to save her. everything dies, evne stars burn out. i was too latve to saave her. like laslt time i wassn't there. couldnt' do anythhing to save her. i killed people. tthe sandpeople. all of them. me,n womne and children. so angry. qui-gon told me to stop but i kilsled them anyway. thlyl'e nevre hurt anyonxe else againt. they deserved it. quick kdeath was too good for them.

(ooc: He meant to text to Obi-wan, but then accidentally posted on the net)

[posted later in the evening]
i passed the bar exam!!!

anakin took me out bto oa fancy dinnjer tonight and i had quite a bit qof champagne. it wafs so sweet obf him because yi am so xhappy taht i'm an actual lawyer now. si am sro hapyp and relieved that i may have ecird when i read my name non the pass list.

All these earthquakes... I've got a bad feeling about this.

Nice going Jedi council. Send the teenage padawan you feel is dangerous, arrogant and overly emotional off alone with the most beautiful senator in the galaxy. Of course they instantly start flirting. Forget merely breaking the Code, he's gonna smash it into a thousand pieces if Padme ever lets on that she might have feelings for him too.

This might be the definition of first world problems, but I'm still kinda bummed that GTA5 won't be out for PC until next year.

I'm starting to look like I have mange or something. Maybe it's time to just shave my head. I think I recall a certain Commander telling me she'd join me as a show of solidarity. Anyone else want to go bald with me?

I am very very happy I can speak again, but holy crap why did Anakin's mouth have to come back? I was enjoying the silence and he's been eating nonstop since he got his mouth back and there's been a lot of kissing and just talking nonsense. I tried to leave but he guilt tripped me into giving him some cooking lessons so he could eat even more food.

I tried to persuade him to go to the karaoke bar with me because I wanted to do something with my voice that wasn't just eating all the time, but I haven't won that battle yet. Anyone want to go with me?

Christina Alice was born today. Happy Halloween.

Posted from my Phone

I've realized that when I wear certain hats, a knit for example, I look far too much like a hipster. An old hipster. At what point did wearing a beard become a fashion statement of that sort? Almost makes me want to shave mine off... not really, of course. But I don't enjoy shopping--never really have--and worrying that I'm accidentally putting together something that looks like a costume.

Shepard will be taking over as owner and primary person in charge. Dani Moonstar will be placed in charge of the horses, cattle and other animals, and all that other naturey...stuff.

Scott Summers' role will be unchanged, and there'll be no one let go.

PM me for any questions.

This old Kroger just needs to retire.

Heh! I assume there are a few out there who would be glad to hear I'd been robbed of my ability to speak. So sorry to disappoint. In quasi-solidarity, I am taking the day off to read. I have several books out of the library and I think I like a day to, well, read them.

Update, shortly thereafter...

Faiza, Anakin dropped off a bag of these. I'll try my best not to eat them all.

( Public ~ Cut for Pregnancy stuff )

[Those who don't want to be punctured in any way can ignore this.]

I am still alive and everything is purrfect back to normal. My apologies to anyone I worried during my absence. It wasn't exactly within my means to contact anyone until now. No opposable thumbs, no ability to type.

I had a run-in with... someone with magical powers. I spent a few weeks licking my wounds, afterwards. Not to mention licking myself clean.

Cat. A cat. A witch turned me into a cat.

Still coughing up occasional hairballs...

Okay, so Qui-gon says I'm the 'chosen one'. So that along with the fact that mother claimed I had no father, I'm calling it now: I'm space Jesus. It totally makes sense.

Oh, and Obi-wan and the Jedi Council think I'm dangerous. Technically I'm a nine year old boy but I've still managed to spook a bunch of Jedi. I won't lie, I'm very happy for the kid, managing that.

u8r3wesam rn v4305qkmd0 dfja39

["well clearly this isn't going to work"]

( Talk of pregnancy complications, not filtered just cut for trigger warnings. )

Lets play a game.

Biggest regret from your youth.

ETA: Silly regrets! Though serious ones are welcome too!

House is way too empty now. Going to be glad to get rid of it. Should have months ago, really.

SO WHO'S THROWING MY BACHELOR PARTY?

edit; KIDDING IT'S GONNA BE SATURDAY AT 9:30 AT OKUGATA

1. Jedi lie. I didn't know they were allowed to do that. I thought the guardians of peace and justice would also include honesty as one of their tenets. Ah well, learn something new every day/dream, like beautiful young women leading armies into battle, that was an interesting dream within a dream.

2. I forgot how much I actually miss building things. I might have to dig out my tools and materials and put something together this coming weekend, maybe something like a Roomba, only better. Or a gardening robot now that I have space for a garden, I don't know, we'll see how I feel at the time.

Tomorrow night I'm flying back to London for the first time in quite a few months. I'm excited to be going back, but it's a different sort. I've reasons to come back, this time.

It's nice.

I have had the worst headache this weekend

Hospital food sucks and Shepard's one of the worst patients I've ever seen. Thank God for Angry Birds, I guess, or I'd be going completely insane.

I don't even want to think about the mileage I've put on my car traveling back and forth between the ranch and the hospital.

Have you had to deal with three flying cats and a squirrel with laser beams that can bench press a horse? Believe me, you don't want to. This week can be over any time now.

And one of my dogs just shot me in the ass with a laser. Spectacular.

Oh, good, my lightsaber deflects my cat's heat vision rays.

(Okay, best post guys, or best post? I love it here.)

List of things I need to buy:
- Alarm clock
- Coffee pot
- DVD player
- earmuffs

I am apparently a Jedi with a penchant for destroying electrical things. At least I can't destroy this bottle of vodka. Seriously, how does the world exist without coffee?

So I walked into the kitchen this morning to find the dogs playing tag with each other, which is normal except for the fact that they were playing tag by flying around. I cannot help but find that somewhat odd...

Come. Get your. Squirrel.

He has laser beam eyes and he's flying.

What the hell. Is going on.


Edit: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LOCK THIS THING

I just tried flying. I just bloody flew. It was terrifying!

With some extra help at the ranch, I can start to relax again. Of course knowing me, I'll just volunteer elsewhere and resume driving myself bloody crazy.

( Cut for image, open to all. )

Pete and I made a baby. Everybody, meet Zelda Katherine.

DUDE. Did anyone else pick up the new Star Wars comic, "The Star Wars"?? It's based on George Lucas' original draft of the movie.

It's so different, man...so...cool...I kinda wish Disney would make this into their new movies instead of the sequels they're planning on. I mean, everyone's doing the reboot thing, right?

( Longer ago, in a galaxy even further away... )

Well, to those in favor of a free Scotland... I was unable to liberate them. I apologize. I also failed to smuggle back any genuine haggis.

Ever had to defend someone that you don't particularly like defending? I had to do that - this guy might be a pig and a lech, but he's not moron enough to touch bullet casings at a scene - and now I feel kind of dirty.

Chopped the braids off today, went back to shorter hair. It felt like a good time to do it.

My head feels so light, now. It's pretty amazing how heavy your hair can get.

I'm having that impending doom feeling again. I hate the impending doom feeling. Especially with the twins coming back.