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Hey, anybody on here want to come on a farm field trip with me this week? If you know your way around animals, that'd be even better. Or like...have a trailer I can rent... You would be my new hero and I would be willing to pay you in whatever you wanted really.

Either way? This is gonna be amazing!

Hey Valarnet.

Weirdest thing in the world just happened to me when I woke up and now I'm passing my windfall on to all of you.

You know the skittles rainbow? That just happened. In my living room.

And it doesn't seem to be ending any time soon. You want some candy? Come on over!

I dreamed I was at the barricade. I was making cartridges with Feuilly. I am not sure who decided it was an okay idea for me to do that. But somehow I managed not to injure myself or Feuilly while undertaking that task.

I told him I thought we'd be taking a diligence to another plant soon. Meaning it was near the end for us all. I am not sure how to feel about that.

Hello, everyone!

I'm certain that by now we're all aware of the tragedy that occurred in Boston this week. My friends and I would like to help with the relief efforts, as much as we can from where we are.

I myself will be holding a bakesale on behalf of Les Amis, so if you have any goods you'd like to donate, please let me know! I'll be set up on campus during lunch and dinner all this week, if you'd like to sign up to sit at the table and help out, come out and donate baked goods, or donate money to the cause.

For those who want to donate directly, the city of Boston has set up a list of ways to help out!

As you can see, the city is already starting to rally together and build themselves back up, which is a wonderful thing to see.

Please help all you can, or stop by and show support if you don't have the funds to donate anything right now!

Thank you kindly.

Hawke is trying to force me to be more social. This can't possibly end well.

Hey, ValarNet. Anyone know where a kids' storyteller can find a good crafts shop? The one I was going to shut down and I have no idea where else I could find what I need. I'd prefer to support mom and pop stores if I can, instead of chains.

Also, anyone have any good volunteer opportunities? I still have some free time and I'd love to help out anywhere that needs it!

Hey, Valarnet.

So, thanks a lot for the suggestions and help a few days ago. I'm not exactly sure what all's going to go down, but you know, the whole reaching out for help thing when you really need it and actually getting responses that are thoughtful and helpful? It makes me feel a whole lot better about my friend and the stuff that's going on with him, pissed as he is that I told the internet, and our other best friend has gone over to stay with him so they can both support each other.

(  unconscious self injury discussion ) so, long story short, I'm staying with my incredible boyfriend and my amazing future in-laws for a little while, til I can start getting put back together.

No classes for the week or rehearsals or even fencing since I'm supposed to be working on pulling out of my own personal crisis point, according to the hotline that I called to get advice for me. I'm not sure how I feel about letting so many people down. It's kind of hard to just go with it, but I AM going to the doctor tomorrow to at least start addressing some of this. So far, as low stress as it is, as great as Jehan's been with everything, I'm still not managing to handle this, but we're going to keep trying and...hopefully somehow something clicks?

Thanks again for all of the support and everything. It really helped me see that I need to get some stuff straightened out too. With any luck, that's going to happen.

Today, I had a letter, cosigned by their lawyer, informing me that I have been formally disowned, with the agreement that tuition for the next semester (and following) "will be covered, provided that you manage to pass the semester, and contingent upon your remaining free from academic probation status".

My family name and fortune may be retained if I "return to Massachusetts to complete (your) course of study at an approved university, agreeing to a position within the firm upon (your) graduation" and "cease the antics learned in California and grow up".

There's even a form for me to fill out and sign and date to indicate my decision, along with a place for a witness to sign it for me.

I shouldn't be surprised. I really shouldn't be surprised and it's exactly what I wanted but I can't help hating them a lot right now. It's not the money. It's the way they decided to do it that...

I guess I shouldn't have expected more, but I'll survive. I took two pairs of shoes, my boots (yeah I was a little teary there. I'm man enough to say it) and some clothes in to sell today and I've emerged okay for all the major expenses, dropped off some resumes, and I've been taking a look at my expenses this afternoon. It's kind of shocking and depressing and disgusting really:

( Courf's Monthly Budget Attempt (Current) )

So, clearly, I've got some big decisions to make, even once I've GOT a job, considering this is what I'm doing AFTER rent. Dropping lessons isn't an option I'm remotely entertaining and if that means I'm getting shampoo at the dollar store, cutting back on the coffee, stopping with the clothes, and making some changes, I'm willing to do it.

There are a lot more important things to consider, sure, but for now, it's a start?

I am so very, very, overwhelmed...

One of the many wonderful things about having a theatre major for a boyfriend is that he's very good at costumes and makeup and things!

We decided to turn me into a faerie king. I'm quite pleased with my hair!

Now taking bets on the duel between Enjolras and Courfeyrac. Odds are two to one, favoring Enjolras. Because let's face it, that other kid is kinda twitchy looking.

Glitter really is the herpes of the craft world. I think I have some in my hair, I'm not even sure how it got there. I'll be glad when Easter's over, it means we can get rid of all the stupid glittery eggs and baskets and bunnies.

...What a way to introduce myself. Anyway, hi. I'm Laurent. Or Feuilly, if you want. I work at Michael's. It sucks, but it's a job, I guess.

Today is LaMarque's birthday! Well, not the real LaMarque, but my LaMarque.

That is, today was my cat's birthday, and we had a bit of a party. He got a new collar and a catnip mouse, and Courfeyrac brought over tuna with a candle in it.

He's prancing around like the king of everything, very pleased with himself.

LaMarque, not Courfeyrac. Courfeyrac does that anyway.

I'm joining you in dream land, my friends! Last night I had the most marvelous dream, and all of our little group was in it (aside from Cosette, I'm so sorry!). We were discussing politics quite passionately, and melting down silver and sewing flags and little red white and blue things to wear on our hats and vests and it was all very lovely. Very moving.

And it reminded me that not too long ago, I found this red material in my closet while I was looking for my sewing things. It was three pieces of red fabric, half stitched together, so I thought perhaps I'd used it to practice making my handstitching neater? But now I think it's a sign!

I was originally going to use it to make a vest, but after Enjolras's post, I don't think it's meant for that. I think it's meant for us.

I thought, since some of us are a little hesitant about tattoos, I could get some similarly coloured red elastic fabric and make bracelets for us! We could wear them to events and protests and things, or just around to show camaraderie.

As to the red fabric, I'm going to finish sewing it together and hang it on my wall, I think. It seems to precious to do anything else with.

I have no idea why I am admitting this on a public forum, where it will probably come back to bite me in the ass later, but I'm already composing a piece for one of the blogs anyway, so hell with it, the valarnet can know these personal details about my life.

Today, I stole something from a job. As in, I went out to the site I was investigating, did my poking around, and interviewing and snapped some secret photos, then I found something I needed to take out of there, slid it up my coat sleeve, and booked it out of there.

With any luck, they're never gonna notice, even when I blow the lid on the bastards this week.

( worth it? worth it. )

...Holy shit what do I do with it?

Attention valarnet. Since Enjolras has yet again done something asstastic to me, and seems to be feeling appropriately guilty, and because *I* feel really guilty for provoking it, and being immature about something that's really important, and that really matters, we've got a LOT of tension floating around in the cyberspace between us. We're probably gonna be worse in public until we've gotten the air all cleared.

My proposal? Make Out Session!

I'm almost definitely going home tomorrow, and Joly and Marius, who I gave this thing to are going to be okay too. This is the outcome that I didn't see coming, even as of two days ago. I'd imagined when everything started to fail, that I was never getting out of this bed or walking out, but I'll be getting there under my own power several hours from now, and going home, and somehow, against all odds, they found the cure and manufactured it in time.

The time HAS been helpful in a couple ways. I've learned a lot. About myself, about philosophy and about my friends. It's a crazy way to get to know someone you thought that you already knew, especially with Joly who got this thing almost at the same time I did, which meant we spent a lot of time together. And well, with everybody who was quarantined with us too.

The other thing I learned, the most important one in all of this is that I shouldn't always have to hide emotions, feelings, or anything else. They don't actually make me weak, and sharing some of them can help to break the ice, or even just to let people know how you feel in case it's too late.

I've learned not to put that kind of thing off, and that the time to say that you appreciate someone is probably when it occurs to you, before it's to late. So that said:

Joly, Combeferre, Jehan, Bossuet, Marius, Courfeyrac, Grantaire? Thank you.

You mean more to me than I can actually put into words. Not to get too Hallmark on all of this, but you, yes even you, Grand R, are my friends. My BEST friends, and I never say this but I love you and appreciate what you've done for me, and what you were prepared to do. If you hadn't been here, I don't know that I would be here now.

Thank you for that, and for the other support as well, the soup and reading, and the entertainment value. I hope we never have to do something like this again, but if we do? I'm comforted by knowing we'll be there together.

I'm lucky, really lucky that I've been given you guys, and the supportive people on this network. Thank you, and I mean that.

We need to talk about what I just did, and my example none of you should follow.

...If I don't die, I'm officially putting myself on probation. It was probably unnecessary to go as far as I did in the blog yesterday. I stand by it but it wasn't necessary, and I owe all of you an apology for going too extreme and far too soon, and for putting everyone who commented in potential legal danger. It's the internet but we shouldn't get too comfortable all the same, a lesson I've still got to learn.

I think that most of them have written this off as the fever having eaten my brain or something along those lines, which pains me to have it reduced to this, but without that, I've blown the cover we are going to need and soon.

I'm sorry I put you, and put the cause in danger, and I'm sorry I enjoyed it and the traffic, and probably kept Joly awake laughing when it really wasn't that amusing. I know that isn't quite enough just now, but I will do my best to make it better, if you'll all still stand with me.

It's absolutely pouring out.

Someone come dance in the rain with me :)?