Courfeyrac Doesn't Need Your Stinking Participle (the_centre) wrote in valarnet, @ 2013-04-10 03:17:00 |
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Entry tags: | alyssa hamilton, courfeyrac, jehan prouvaire, sif |
Hey, Valarnet.
So, thanks a lot for the suggestions and help a few days ago. I'm not exactly sure what all's going to go down, but you know, the whole reaching out for help thing when you really need it and actually getting responses that are thoughtful and helpful? It makes me feel a whole lot better about my friend and the stuff that's going on with him, pissed as he is that I told the internet, and our other best friend has gone over to stay with him so they can both support each other.
I haven't actually spoken to him since it all went down because, honestly? Kind of needed a breather of my own to get through a personal crisis that's been going on a little too long now too and started coming to a dramatic, messy head around the time I noticed that my friend's a little out there. I'm still avoiding details about my situation, because that makes it solid and real, and whoa am I not ready for that yet, but I'd started, well, unconsciously hurting myself because of something in my dreams, and I realized that if I was waking up to bloody pillowcases and lips every morning, and had torn my lips to shreds, even when I was trying to quit it, that it was a really bad idea to be alone right now, and I couldn't keep on bothering my room-mate when I wake up from my dreams, and really needed to be somewhere that I feel really safe, so, long story short, I'm staying with my incredible boyfriend and my amazing future in-laws for a little while, til I can start getting put back together.
No classes for the week or rehearsals or even fencing since I'm supposed to be working on pulling out of my own personal crisis point, according to the hotline that I called to get advice for me. I'm not sure how I feel about letting so many people down. It's kind of hard to just go with it, but I AM going to the doctor tomorrow to at least start addressing some of this. So far, as low stress as it is, as great as Jehan's been with everything, I'm still not managing to handle this, but we're going to keep trying and...hopefully somehow something clicks?
Thanks again for all of the support and everything. It really helped me see that I need to get some stuff straightened out too. With any luck, that's going to happen.