Network

Has anyone on here ever dealt with a crisis of faith?

If so... do you mind sharing how?

I should start an all female mercenary company.

Who's with me?

What should we call it?

Pussy Patrol?
Shepard's Angels?

Garrus, you're allowed in but you have to stay at home, barefoot and making us sandwiches. And you have to wear a dress.

It's not exactly the happiest place here around major holidays is it? Granted this network has its reasons and has had them in the past in a lot of places before the weirdness with the dreams started up and all, but...I don't know...

I've spent the last couple years in a kind of fog around them so it's pretty amazing that I'm finally having a really GOOD thanksgiving with a lot of things to be thankful for, mostly the amazing woman who's stood beside me through the biggest insanities ever, when a LOT of people would have, and probably should have pulled away, my two best friends, one of whom just spent a lot of time, and I suspect money, to keep me out of jail, and the other who was the only person to get me up until this year, that someone else I care about a lot is finally processing the shit that's happened to him, even if that doesn't mean he's completely stable yet, and for the pair of amazing ears and sensitivity when I need help that I've been given in Laika.

So, cliched though it is, I'm glad to be around for it, and open to the rest of the possibilities that are coming up. I hope that you're all able to have the same because it's the most amazing feeling, seriously. So Happy Thanksgiving, as flawed and as fucked up as things sometimes are, I really have so much.

Bailed out tonight, and the judge and everyone involved seemed to think I could probably plead Reckless Endangerment and get out of a Assault With A Deadly Weapon under the circumstances. Apparently a lot of people have been dealing with this kind of thing so it might be something they can push for lesser on.

So, there's that.

My social group is probably extremely skewed and I need to spend more time with someone else's. Any takers?

I am posting this from the HOSPITAL because I was rushed there earlier tonight because someone felt the need to SHOOT ME IN THE ASS. So I'm laying here in the ER waiting for someone to do an MRI and make sure they can get the entire thing out. ...29 inches of love from Barton. You know, if I knew you CARED that much...

...Should've gotten that insured.

You suppose if I turn myself in, I get to keep the gold? Not a chance, Sheriff. Not a chance.

Are you kidding me? Are you actually kidding me right now?

That's how the story ends? That's what happened? I got married and everything was just great?!

You do not give a woman a broadsword and then tell her she's done fighting.

And then shit decided to get real.

I woke up because the dog was nosing me like she's been trained in case there's some kind of emergency in the house, or in case I'm having some kind of fucked up PTSD nightmare again. I don't think my shrink counted on the nightmares being from alternate reality Clint's life. Christ, and I thought Reality Clint had a kind of crappy childhood. Least that Clint GOT the childhood, and wasn't being beaten and left for dead by his mentor, who he totally trusted, who in my dream kind of reminded me of my high school gym teacher. ...The fuck?

At least the dream after those, while confusing, was nice enough, considering. But seriously? Mind fuck? Oh you bet there was a mindfuck at first.

Hey, if we're getting stuff from these dreams back, you think that I can get my hearing?

Tasha Lock:

So Tash. We've met now. I thought I ought to let you know.

Eowyn Lock:

There are monsters in my head. Can I sleep with you?

Well hello, Orange County. My name is Dean Winchester. I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women.

Oh, and being employed. Anyone looking for someone to work for them? I'm a damn good mechanic, I got lots of experience with firearms, and oh yeah– I'm goddamn adorable. ;)

You know, Rita, if you're going to fake a sex tape, you should use a woman that looks a lot more like me. You can't even get the hair color right. Amateur.

Besides, Eowyn would stab me if I tried anything.

No.Comment.

Some wiseass put a PONY in my OFFICE!

Ladies who will be attending Natasha's soiree, please let me know your favorite colors here. You may text me your measurements [here] so that they remain private.

I have no idea how my life has come to this point. I'm terribly amused.

You can all blame Lulu for this idea, but I want to do a sexy lingerie party. She'll be designing the underwear.

Ladies only.

I do not think people realize how loud they are when they whisper. I can hear you when you call me a slut or some other name you feel is appropriate. I can still hear you when you comment on the people my parents must be to raise someone that would be involved in such a thing.

And I can also hear you when you wonder how Jim is in bed. How about you ask him? Want to know how I am in bed? Why don't you ask someone that might actually know. It is going to be the closest any of you are going to get to finding out.

Anyone actually know this Rita woman? Like in person.

I think I'm making the kids nervous.

I went to the store and bought a few new cooking supplies, some herbs and a garlic press.

With enough guidance from Food Network even I might be able to turn out a convincing roast chicken.

Convincing them to eat it is another matter entirely.

Just leave a note, people!

If somebody needs to get European Union citizenship, but has no relatives, no significant other there, or anything else that normally helps you get considered, how do they go about it?

Edit: Hey, who from the EU on this board wants to have a kid with me so I can get a residency and shorter path?

Oh look! Skeeter wrote about me, does that make me important now? Because really I am sure the rest of you have nothing better to do than worry about what or who I do with my life. Passionate affairs are not quite as fun if they aren't part secret.

Is it true or not? Well, I'll leave that up to decide. If I answer for sure it would take away the mystery and therefore all the fun with it.

If I never see another potato for as long as I live, I'll be happy. It was brilliant, but horrible all at the same time. At least I know how, now.

I feel like my destiny is set in stone and I wake up feeling less and less human.

I need cake.

I thought when I moved to Orange County the weather would be a little more reasonable than what it is in Nevada. It's October and it was 103 degrees today. That's not cool, weather. Get it together.

Konnichiwa, valar.net! I'm Ichimaru Gin, from Osaka. Pleased to meet ya. I'm looking forward to my great big ol' California vacation, where I'm goin' to Disneyland and seein' the big Hollywood sign and lookin' at girls in bikinis on beaches.

So now that I'm here, how about let's play a game? It's one of those getting-to-know-you games, which is fun for everyone if they want to take part in it.

If you had to pick an animal that best symbolizes you, what would it be and why? Please explain, so that the rest of us can get a better insight into if you're insane or not.

Just kidding! Don't want to start a hootenanny on the internet. It's already insane enough as it is. I've been on 4chan. I know how bad it can get.

My answer: I've always liked foxes and stories about kitsune. They're clever critters and I like clever critters. Other people tend to call me fox-face because I grin too much and I like to play pranks sometimes. So I think I'm most like that. And it's better than admittin' that I think I'm like a snake, too.

How about the rest of you?

I swear somedays I feel like board meetings are neverending and then I realise they actually are.

I'm sure I was supposed to be cutting back the work hours to actually have a life...

I have all of my hospital bills paid off. I can't believe it. It's kind of crazy. Thank you, anonymous benefactor. I appreciate it. Those bills made my parents and I homeless for a while and made them file for bankruptcy. So it's extra special. I wish I could thank you in person.

I'm still paying off for school, but it's not that bad now that I don't have to pay for my hospital stuff. It's completely manageable, thanks to my job.

I might actually hang out this weekend and do some things. Except I'm not sure what to do. What do people do when they don't work? Suggestions?

( See what I made you lovies. And an offer of a lifetime to others on here )

Holy Shit...

Haven't had a night like that in...Shit....

What started out amazing just got mindbending and guilt inducing.

I got possessed and shot a lot of people.

...Whee?

Okay. So.

Date night might have gone better.

Is everyone okay? I know we've established 'big green thing' but I'm still wrapping my mind around it.

Okay, so I'm a little bummed the inn isn't going to be ready by the weekend, but hey! Can't complain about the cute construction workers. Diet Coke Break!

I need more female friends.
Just a fact. :)

I'm getting good with this thing.

And I'd really like to know exactly how.

Today was "therapy" day for me. It didn't go as horribly as I expected when we talked about how I didn't handle the fourth very well, even though I didn't hear much of it. The lights and the sound I did hear though, yeah, not dealing too well with it. We talked about coping techniques and then my therapist brought up an idea I hadn't thought about, but don't actually mind.

'A pet would be a good idea'. She told me, and mentioned that in my line of work, it could be helpful. So now I've got a brochure on Hearing Dogs, and how to apply for one. They could train it both to hear things for me, and to deal with me when I get...funny.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for that, actually. The last pet that I had...I had to leave her behind when I came back here. The Fucking Army can expend everywhere else, but it can't let me bring home my kitten.

...I didn't even know that one still pissed me off. I guess it's all the dog business that's making me think about it. If I'm ready for an animal in my life again, and well, if I want to admit that I need help when I'm out in public. A dog would make me visible, point out that I'm the guy that doesn't hear too well and everything else. On the other hand, it might be nice to have something furry to sit with on the couch again, and this time have it able to help me.


I'm thinking about it anyway...

I was gonna just send this as a message to Queen, who I will add, looked like a total fool last weekend, in front of the ENTIRE guild of archers and assorted family and friends who bothered to turn up for something as ridiculous as watching a bunch of us prance around in tights and get our Robin Hood on, but Hell, I'm willing to fork out a lot more cash to further antagonize him, for the benefit of it being done in front of a much larger group of people, so let's coordinate.

Archery's a thinking man's game, and clearly, Oliver Queen isn't thinking anymore, so we'll resort to brutal out and out aggressive tactics, sharp shooting, and general leadership ability in the field. Full out paintball war. Me and my superior marksmanship and him and his rapidly fading Olympic Glory.

From now until, oh, let's say Labor Day, when he doesn't have the excuse of being under someone's desk, and hopefully has not been gnawed to death by the current crop of crabs he's giving new life to as we speak, we'll recruit, we'll train, and we're going to create our armies.

No recruitment tactic is too cheap and low, cheating, blackmail and other coercion methods are allowed, and, in fact, encouraged, and we'll have the rest of summer to get everything moving.

Now, I doubt the corporate free love hippie has ever handled a gun that didn't give out electric shocks before, so let's give him a good ten minutes headstart onto his portion of the field and call it good, am I right?

Details to be finalized, once I make sure that I can even get the paintball field for that time, or moved around as needed, but there's the basics, guys, and Queen. Winner takes...I'm not sure yet.

You ready to accept my non gentlemanly, low down, total lacking in honor challenge, Queen? Consider this a formal declaration, will you?

Okay, who's the wiseass who put a flippin' broadsword in my cubicle?

I don't need to fight orcs at my job or anything. The people in the mailroom aren't that bad.

Someone remind me that when Tony does something rude in my dreams I'm now allowed to yell at him for it.

I have to admit I never thought I would be the sort to open up an account on this thing, but I've been hearing tales of a dream epidemic around the lab so I thought I would check it out. My name is Dr. Tam, I head up the neurology department at UC Irvine.

I fucking hate fireworks. Somebody let me know when I can come out because they're over.

I'm gonna be hiding in my closet until then.

I'm not sorry.

I fucked up majorly the other day. Still not sure how to make it right.

I am no longer a tourist. I am now officially a resident of Garden Grove, Cali-for-nai-ay!

Also known as, I bought a house. It looks like every other house in the state: a ranch with a terracotta roof, yellowish paint, backyard pool, lots of windows. Obviously, I'm not complaining. It's definitely a step up from the Wyndham.

Looks like I'm staying a while.

Avocados = Disgusting

Why do you Californians put them in everything? I mean, I saw avocado gelato the other day.

I see this week is just getting better and better.

....Why am I in Clint Barton's bed?

More to the point, what DAY is it?

What a magnificantly shitty day. It really outdid itself.

"A creative adult is simply a child who has survived." I feel like there should be a wild rumpus somewhere in honour of Maurice Sendak.

So now I have my emotionally volatile student, AND his former guardian, who he has issues with, hanging out at my place tonight. Ollie Queen's making chili, Roy's hopefully asleep after I force fed him an ativan and I have no idea what I'm doing, how this happened, or why this whole thing is my job again.

Any advice good people of the valarnet?

I'm honestly terrified that this is my life and nothing more interesting is planned for me. That I'll get old and die wondering if I missed my destiny somewhere along the line because I wasn't paying attention.

God, I sound like a teenager on tumblr.

You know, Tony Stark sure did go to a whole lot of trouble to get me to go out with him only to stand me up.

I can't remember the last time I went out and did something social that wasn't work related. I might need to start looking into workaholics anonymous or something.

Hot yoga is something of a thing now. I really don't think I enjoy it much. Bending is fine, but sweating that much while bending is just stupid.

Oh, I'm Eowyn, by the way. Nice to meet you all.