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The Dreams gave me a jet pack. An actual real life jet pack. I...this is awesome.

[Private to Carolina and York]

Ok, seriously guys, what happened to Georgia?

This isn't so much of an existential crisis as a what the hell is life and does this really exist??

Apparently there's this comic where I'm teaming up with Ian McKellan (dressed as Gandalf) and we're entrusted with this, uh, task from the Sorcerer's Guild and going up against demon summoners from Mordor. I think there's a panel with flying banana peels - look, I don't know - and then the shenanigans cause me to flip a table of food that just showed up outta nowhere.

Cue explosions.

And Christopher Lee (dressed as Saruman) at the end.

I don't know much about Lord of the Rings but what I do know is this: Sunday afternoons need vodka in the orange juice, not champagne. I'll be toasting to you, Sir Ian McKellan.

There is something wrong with my armor. I went to go move it out of the closet and I'm not sure, but I think something short circuited. The EMP enhancement went off and now I need to get new electronics. Again.

Going to have to use my helmet for communication for a little bit, I think. I also hope it didn't effect everyone else in the building like it did last time.

I keep getting random phone calls to my cell. I'm sure the woman has the wrong number, but every time I answer it's like she can't hear me. And she keeps asking for her sister. She leaves messages, too, when I don't answer. I get these calls at least once a day.

Thanks for the birthday serenade, random stranger, but I was born in June.

Why won't these dreams end? Seriously, what the hell did I do in this life or the last or whatever that warrants this kind of punishment?

It's bad enough that we've crash landed on an apparently uninhabited planet, are the only apparent survivors of said crash, but we have no com-tower to make a distress call. On top of it, the Reds and Blues have reverted to form and have each made their own "bases" at either end of the box canyon we're in. Sarge literally stole a tank from our end and used it to "redecorate" his base. The worst part? I'm apparently in command now. How the fuck did that even happen?!

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect when we finally found the Director, but that sure as hell wasn't it. The parallels between the dream and the real world sometimes make me wonder. There's still a lot of wrong to make right, but I think dream me has finally learned to let things go.

Guess I should too.

I JUST MET RUDOLPH! AHHHHHHHHH! Sorry. This has been an exciting day. Now I just have to find Frosty. Do you think Santa will show up? OMG. Also is anyone else loving all the snow? It's so pretty! I want everything to be snowy! SNOW FOR CHRISTMAS!

Oh oh oh! We can watch White Christmas now! Does anyone want to watch it with me?

I got the new armor I wear in the Dreams this morning. Good news is that I didn't wake up in it this time. I actually found it in my van, of all the weirdass places for it to show up. This one didn't come with an EMP bomb, though and I'm kinda disappointed about that.

Also, what the hell am I going to do with two sets of bioarmor?

Oh yeah, I got married today. Go me?

[Private to Friends]
If you want to come and celebrate with us, we'll be at [Local Bar]. Probably not too late, though.

It's my wedding night, I have plans.

I may or may not have fallen asleep with a baby on my chest while I was watching my nephew tonight for his parents. They got to go out and see a movie for the first time in several weeks, and trusted me to watch Roger for a few hours.

I was Dreaming about being in space, and when I got home I found a set of armor waiting for me in my apartment.

So it seems like my Dreams have taken a turn for the absurd. While I'm glad that I'm no longer fighting my old squadmates since they're all dead, I'm not sure these... sims are actually going to be of any help finding the objective.

I know that these guys are only supposed to be simulation troops and not actual soldiers, but Jesus. They take incompetence to an entirely new level. It's like they've never been on a mission before. Or taken orders. Or actually managed to shoot something that wasn't a teammate.

I'd like to say I've made due with worse cadets and less intel, but I'm not sure that's even possible.

[To Wash]
That's Epsilon? He's a real piece of work, I'll give you that, but at least he seems to know what he's doing. How the hell do you deal with the rest of these fucking idiots? And why are they calling you Church?

That was an AMAZING party for my bestie Caroline last night! Happy birthday, Caroline! The food was amazing. Peeta makes the best cakes ever! I danced until my feet fell off! Well, not literally, of course. Though stranger things have happened in this place! God, what a party. Whew! Won't be another one of those anytime soon! haha Except maybe for my birthday next month? Who's in? ;)

Are you fucking kidding me? I have been waiting for months to start dreaming again, and instead of something new, I get Attack of the Man Eating Bunnies ver. 2.0: the extra fucking creepy version.

I guess this would be the second set of dreams I've heard people talking about. I didn't even finish my first.

Day of remembrance today.

A little surprising (and almost fitting?) that I procured a job interview. I was at a cafe grabbing breakfast when I struck up a conversation with the police officer ahead of me in line. Seemed right to pay my respects on a day like today. Turns out he was a Superintendent and in charge of hiring civilian officers for this precinct. They're looking for a tech guy, and after hearing about my qualifications, he wanted to hire me on the spot. But protocol, so I'm headed in tomorrow for a formal interview. Pretty spiffy, I think.

Spent the last few days on the floor in my new apartment because I don't have a bed yet. But I've got a fantastic sleeping bag. (AKA, Anyone selling an old bed? Know where I can get one cheap?)

Sorry, Wash, that I didn't have more comfortable accommodations for you. I bet you're glad to be back home.

Carolina and I are headed to Texas to get her things out of storage. While there, there is a remote possibility that I could meet my father for the first time and I don't know if I should.

My mother told me he didn't want anything to do with us, but Carolina says that surprises her. And...the Dreams didn't exactly put him the best of lights either...not that he was my father in the dreams.

Fuck, I have no idea if meeting him is a good idea or not.

( Cut for character deaths, RvB spoilers, and endorsing other character deaths. )

Aww. The dreams decided to give me a memento from when I was the Bad Guy: the warthog Sarge and Grif used to run me down. I'm touched.

Edit: Ok, to clarify, warthog in this instance is a type of jeep...not an actual wild pig.

More Dreams last night. I'm pretty badass, if I don't say so myself. Really shouldn't have let myself out of the Hospital to run the mission, but at least it was a success. I woke up sore as hell this morning, and I'm babysitting all day. There's not enough coffee in this world.

It seems as though my days as an antagonist in the Dreams have come to an end. After what seemed like days trekking through a damn desert, we caught up with Epsilon in - what else? - a snowy wasteland. Me and my partner ended up having to fight the best Freelancer on the squad (who was dead the last time I checked...what the actual hell?!), I was then betrayed by said partner, nearly killed trying to protect Epsilon and then rescued by who else...the fucking Reds and Blues of Blood Gulch, the very same assholes who screwed me over in the first place.

After another round fighting against my former partner, in which I can't believe I survived, the Reds and Blues defeat him by attaching the jeep's winch to his armor and pushing it (and him) over the same cliff I nearly fell off of during the fight with Tex. Now, for some reason I'm not sure I understand, I'm the newest member of Blue Team, complete with new armor. Beats going back to prison, I guess.

You know, there isn't enough whiskey in the world for me to handle this whiplash.

Serious Question: where could one potentially fire a newly-acquired grenade launcher without getting arrested?

By "Serious Questions," I, naturally, mean "Hypothetically Speaking."

Of course.

My first Dream wasn't so bad. It was pretty nice, even. But this one wasn't. Not in the slightest. I ended up falling off my brother's couch and scaring the crap out of my sister-in-law. I wasn't really all that keen on reliving the loss of my eye.

Think I'll go for a walk to clear my head.

Who said the Dreams would start as soon as I signed up for Valarnet? Because they were right. Honestly, I thought you all were insane when I started reading this stuff. Dreams of different worlds, different times, vampires, and people with superpowers? And I just... man, it was so real. Guess I've officially joined the club.

[Private: Carolina]
Does the name Errera mean anything to you?

[Private: Carolina and Wash]
Where's the best bowling alley in the place? It's been years since I've been. I feel like chucking heavy things at other things.

A little birdie told me this is where the cool kids hang out. And with all the crazy going on around here, I should at least attempt to be in the know.

I'm James. My friends call me York.

I may have underestimated the sim troopers. Apparently, they actually do have some tactical knowledge. I wonder if the whole bumbling idiot routine isn't some kind of brilliant ruse. That, or they have some of the world's most amazing dumb luck. They managed to fucking run me down with a jeep and blow me up in a frustratingly successful attempt to rescue my hostage.

And they have Epsilon with them.

Mother. Fuckers.

Now my everything hurts.

I'm hiding in my room, watching Moulin Rouge on repeat. Thank you, DVD player. If I lose this remote I'll be even more unhappy because I don't want to leave my bed. :( :( :(

Not exactly the best of Dreams last night, but at least things feel like they're moving forward. Changing. There's progress, at least. I guess I owe Caroline a debt for forcing me back into that safe?

Have I ever mentioned how weird these Dreams are, and knowing people in the Real World who are also in my Dreams is twisting my mind into uncomfortable pretzels?

I'm apparently now the antagonist in my own Dreams. Nice.

There are upsides and downsides to dreaming about wearing armor 24/7. From what I have seen so far, the suits make it feasible to maneuver in space without worrying about running out of oxygen. It also comes complete with a Kevlar bodysuit which is extremely helpful when taking enemy fire. Grav boots make fighting in zero gravity a dream and I won't go into the equipment enhancements.

That being said, it took up until the moment I took off my helmet to take a sip of coffee to realize that I'd woken up still dressed in the armor from my dreams. Kevlar from the future is surprisingly comfortable. Can't wait to see how it does with coffee stains.

I woke up with a grappling hook on the coffee table this morning. It's pretty heavy duty and as far as I 'remember' it works on all different kinds of surfaces. It would've been nice to have while fighting waves of stormtroopers, but at least I won't have to worry about ending up like Georgia anymore.

In other news, my alternate self has apparently moved away from pirating and back to fighting 'the resistance'. After playing Rebel last week, I almost feel sorry for them. Almost.

It's Free Comic Book Day!. After two days of fighting the Empire, I plan on doing jack shit but read comics for the next two days. If anyone needs me I'll be spending the day at [local comic book shop]

So, I called to get a new picture window put in the front window. Which was apparently super easy because the window dudes already had the measurements and knew exactly what house it was.

... I ain't going to have to explain to these dudes why we've been through three windows in a year, am I?

The mental illness awareness organization I do a lot of work with, NAMI, is holding an event in Irvine next Saturday - outdoors, at a park, and there will be all sorts of things like a book exchange and food trucks (I think even complimentary massages?). But I'll be there in the 'community support' section, as a mental health care provider, should anyone want to drop by. I see so many people discussing their dreams and I feel as if I should make others aware of the opportunity.

On my own dream front our fortress, Skyhold, recently got assaulted by goats. Gassy goats, too. One let it rip before the other slammed into the wall and I don't even know what's going on anymore. It was almost as baffling as one of my advisers running out of the room naked after losing a game of Wicked Grace (I won't name names).

For anyone wondering about the actual goat thrower, he was made an agent of the Inquisition and dispatched to Tevinter to throw goats there instead.

Completely unpacked. That didn't take long.

Anyone know a way to stop a recurring dream? I'm running out of alcohol.

Dreams are back to being dramatic again. Yipee</sarcasm>. I found South after she'd been going toe-to-toe with The Meta. Thank god for the recovery beacon, or else I'd never find the bitch her again. After we...rescued her, my new "team" and I tried to capture The Meta. Kind of wish Caboose and Church had told me he had Wyoming's time distortion unit before we engaged him. I would have taken a different tactic if I'd known. But I they didn't and The Meta used the time distortion unit to get away. It's kind of weird experiencing an actual stop in time. It's like living through a jump cut edit.

After that we learned that South still had Delta - the A.I. I gave her before she fucking shot me in the back - we learned from Delta that South not only left me behind for dead, but she'd done the same thing to her own brother. Delta also said she'd planned to sacrifice him to to The Meta so she could get away. She was badly injured and he observed that in the condition she was in that she'd impede our progress. He suggested we not allow her to. So I shot her in the head.

Dream me didn't seem to care. Church called me a cold motherfucker. I, on the other hand, am not a cold motherfucker. The whole experience made me sick to my stomach. And now...I have no idea what I'm supposed to be feeling.

Hello everyone! My name is Adam. At least it is if I remember correctly, ha ha ha.

I am a friend of Victor Frankenstein's. Now that my recovery has reached a point where I am able to use the computer with some ease (though I do still have some questions about some of the applications and programs), Victor has encouraged me to join him on this Network. He says it is a good way for me to make new friends.

I am new here. I moved to live with Victor as his roommate, because he is my friend and asked me to. I was in an accident not very long ago and Victor is helping with my recovery. But I am doing very well! Still moving slowly, but at least I am moving.

I look forward to meeting all of you here.

I guess this is what y'all meant by Dreams. If the UNSC is anything like the USMC, I guess I'm going to be in for quite a ride.

It was nice to see my mom again, even if it was just a dream.

Well, it's official. I must be right around the corner from old age - I'm going to be a godfather and am knitting a baby blanket. What's the next step, I wonder? Creamed corn? Wearing my trousers up to my chin?

At any rate, dreams continue to be absolutely mad and possess absolutely no sense. We're in Camelot, yes, bloody Camelot with all the Arthurian legends - only Arthur is some crazed lunatic and Merlin is a rather attractive wizard, my god, if I wasn't so besotted with a certain blonde Savior I'd probably want to disappear and make some magic for awhile.

Anyway, our Scooby Doo gang is off to retrieve a broken piece of Excalibur (with Zelena in tow, honestly, if she wasn't baking a bun in the oven I'd be all for dropping her off a cliff) and my lady left with Merlin to retrieve something called the Flame of Prometheus. I hope they're not up to anything naughty because I'd be quite sad I didn't get to join in.

I'll be looking forward to the break from this horseshit during my upcoming UK/Ireland holiday (requests for souvenirs accepted, I suppose). Someone please try to talk my sister out of green beer - the poor lass thinks that's actually a thing for St. Patrick's Day.

$2 dollar beers, $5 beer and a shot, tonight at Johnny's Saloon in Huntington Beach. Happy hour goes till 8pm, and we are fucking open till 4am. Sorry kiddies, got to be 21 to get in.

Hi there.

Fancy little network you guys have here.

Well, my big sis finally got her inheritance from our old man. He didn't leave nothing to me, and Sae says all he left mom was the house, but I can't say that it surprises me none.

Anyway, my sister decided to buy me a motorcycle and a new guitar. Which is pretty fucking sweet and I hope the old man takes it like a kick in the teeth. Don't got a license or nothing, so I guess I oughtta get in on that, but it'll be nice not needing ta rely on the bus or flying around no more. She says that I'm supposedta use the bike at least to visit her and little Yue more often, so I guess I gotta do that now. I guess there's worse things to come outta it.

( Check out this beaut )

In continuing the fine tradition of giving me items after I could have used them, my dreams finally gave me my armor. More specifically, I woke up with it on. I may or may not have been stuck in it for the past three days.

Yeah, ok, I was stuck in it for the past three days.

The upside is that my helmet synced up to every piece of electronic equipment I own, so I can use it to text, check email and post stupid network updates. The downside is that in the process of getting it off, I discovered that I also have the armor's special ability and proceeded to fry every piece of said electronic equipment with an EMP. Also...probably every piece of electronic equipment on the floor my apartment is located on.

This post coming to you live from an undisclosed location, where I'll probably be hiding out until my neighbors no longer want to kill me.

I hate storms. I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight if this keeps up.

The cat that followed me home and camped out in my kitchen for a couple of days has decided that now my bedroom is her domain. I'm pretty sure she's a stray, but I'd like to take her to a vet to get her scanned for a chip or something. Can anyone suggest a trusted vet who won't charge me an arm and a leg?

Since my inquiry for baked goods was well answered the last time, I thought I'd try again. I need something sparkly for my Valentine, where does one get...baked goods that are glittery? I assume there is such a thing, yes?

On the dream front, it's been a whole metric tonne of things. Snow queens and spells where we all hated each other and the newly-formed Triumvirate of Evil (that didn't stay a threesome for very long, mind you), and dragons and alternate lives - good god. But in terms of 'gifts,' I also hope someone on this network is a botanist of some kind. I've a sort of strange plant that should be studied and contained it killed my brother, since it can be dangerous - well, the thorns are, I should say. Then again, no one should be getting themselves scratched with poisonous thorns unless you're Charming and stupidly manage it somehow.

Still not quite understanding this tonal shift in my Dreams. I've been teamed up with a Blue Soldier who I'm not sure is insane or just an idiot. His commanding officer couldn't get rid of him fast enough and I'm pretty sure he accidentally killed one of his squad members while I was at his base. Later, we found one of his former squadmates from Blood Gulch, who tried to shoot him and he didn't care. I don't think he even understood he was being shot at. I'm not feeling particularly good about this.

In other news, one of the stray cats that hangs around the apartment complex followed me home last night. She made herself at home on my kitchen counter and is showing no intention of leaving.

How do the Dreams follow-up on shooting me in the back? By taking an uncanny tonal shift, of course. Why not?

They have gone from being super serious, action packed, life or death to…I don’t know…comedy? Kind of? I feel like I'm the butt of a very elaborate drawn out cosmic joke.

I’m briefed about an attack by The Meta on a sim trooper base and receive new orders to investigate the whole Meta situation and in doing so I’m told to start at Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, this random box canyon in the middle of ass-end nowhere. The sim troopers there apparently were the last people to come in contact with the Omega A.I., which apparently The Meta has now, how I don’t fucking know. So I arrive at Blood Gulch and find that there are only two troopers left there. One who apparently has been throwing raves in her empty base every night and is convinced I’m a cop and another who is, I swear to god, batshit insane. He's ignored his reassignment orders and has essentially gone AWOL all in order to…fulfill his orders to fight the Blues?

I knew the sim troopers were scraping the bottom of the recruitment barrel, but Jesus Christ. And the Project thought I was crazy...

I've got business completely unrelated to dreams. My mum is apparently very sick. My dad just called. Some kind of lung infection involving a fungus. Asper-something. How does that even happen? It's no wonder I flunked biology... Just... If you're the superstitious type, light a candle for my mum, alright?

Fuck, I never post on this forum, do I? I think the last post I made I was a woman, then before that the bearer of bad news. It feels odd to not have anything catastrophic to say.

I've always hated that 'pink for girls, blue for boys' shit so imagine this in orange font or something. Anyway, according to the doctor's poking (which looked uncomfortable) we're having a girl and I unfortunately didn't get any 'it's a girl' biscuits or cakes or cigars, but if anyone wants to drink with me tonight, I'll be at [insert name of bar] and I'll buy you one.

Names are still being brainstormed. That one's tough, isn't it?