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CAN'T TALK

PLAYING GTA

I'M NOT DEAD STOP ASKING

When did it get to be October? It seems as though time is just flying, dear listeners.

Who has fun plans for Halloween? I'm a big fan, myself. You won't be able to see my costume over the radio, of course, but I'll be certain to post pictures on the blog.

And now the little bastards are trying to get me to do things. Is anyone else experiencing this? I was out at the grocery store minding my own business and about 8 other people's when the narrative bubbles I've been dealing with decided to tell me that I was going to grab at some innocent man's behind.

I mean, it was a choice behind, but I'm not crazy enough to do what the voices tell me to. Not yet, anyway. I assume it takes a few more years living in Orange County to be that insane.

You know, the irony of this is that I'm beginning to understand that living in Kirkwall wasn't really any more of a sane choice. What is wrong with that city?

And this beautiful lady is... sadly, without a name at the moment. I'll take suggestions, but don't be offended if I decide to something else entirely.

This may sound odd, but I have a favour to ask: does anyone on this network know how to play poker, and would you be willing to teach me? I've been invited to a function where the centrepiece of the evening is a charity tournament.

I'm Scottish. Bit of a disadvantage when it comes to your card games.

So, yes. Anyone who can help, I'd be grateful, and also pay for the lesson(s).

Heyyyy! You know what time it is?

Well, you should. You’re on a computer or phone, and it’s got a clock on it. Don’t look at me like that, it’s definitely your fault for being curious enough to wonder.

… I was going to say something. It seemed important.

Hm.

Oh! Right.

I think we should really have a discussion about the majesty of the platypus. You start!

I just want to let everybody know that bounty hunters are nothing like Duane Chapman 'Dog'. That's show business. I might be a bounty hunter, but I don't take two hours to do my hair in the morning and choose which one of my leather vests best makes me look like a retired Lion-O.

We ain't great people, but we ain't that bad. Not to diss 'Dog', I like that show. It's just not reality. I mean, it's reality tv, but...look, I don't know where I'm going with this.

I did not miss morning sickness at all. But I think a second child feels a bit different than my first.

I'm pretty sure that I'm done after this one though. Pretty sure.

I am having the hardest time trying to think of a unique halloween costume.

One that's not a slutty version of whatever, because that's lame. I want something original!

Give me ideas!

So I think I had some of those dreams that everyone talks about.

Long story short, never knew my mother. Father died in a forest fire. I was taken in my an Indian Tribe and raised by them. Taught to use a bow and arrow. Hero worshiped Green Arrow who not only looked like Oliver Queen, but turned out to be Oliver Queen, but older. Oliver came to the reserve to judge an archery contest I was in and I wound up helping him stop a robber. He saw potential in me and took me in as his ward.

Now if only I could really use a bow and arrow. Now that'd be pretty cool.

So, it's that time of year again. Time for Lian to change her mind six billion times on what she wants to be for Halloween.

I'm 99% sure I just experienced the First Trial of Being A Mom yesterday: vomit in the face. WHY WAS I LIFTING THE BABY? WHY?

I'm so excited that the Red Sox won last night! They're one step closer to the World Series. If the Bruins didn't win, I hope the Sox do.

It was kind of funny when my mom called me last night. She thought someone else answered my phone because my accent from the dreams has been bleeding over a lot lately. I kind of love it.