Network

You mean I managed to join the same network the people Skeeter writes about are on?

Is that completely awesome or is it really kinda scary? Jury's out but I'm glad I'm not famous right now, that's for sure.

She's so pretty! And deadly!

Too bad she ain't real. (╥_╥)

... what the fuck is a Rita Skeeter? It sounds like what moms call their kids' junk when they don't want to use the proper names.

How many times do I have to say it? I'm not gay. Seriously.

...I have that Giggle at the Ghosties song really stuck in my head and it kinda sucks. No offense, Pinkie, but...

It's kinda hard to focus on running when it's all you can think.

Well. This has been my day so far.

Back off, it's as exciting as I get.

Right. So. I finally got over that whole 'parents will embarrass the absolute crap out of me' bit and got on this network. Let's get this all out of the way. Hi, I'm Harry Potter, and anything James or Lily Potter say is likely a lie, or at least a gross exaggeration.

Any pictures are also most certainly photoshopped. Mom's very good at it, trust me.

You know, the worst thing in the world for an attorney, at least in this line of law, has to be turning away clients who need your help.

As much as it's paining me to have to come on here and make this clear to the vast internet community, consider this my official moratorium on offering my services for any alleged crimes committed this Halloween.

The only way that I can even use the insanity defense, which so many of you are probably about to argue for, is if I can determine that you weren't able to tell the difference between right and wrong. Now, psychologically, that may be true, a lot of you were clearly in a different mind-frame at the time, but there's no proving that given the evidence and witnesses at hand in a good sixty percent of the cases that have come up.

It isn't that you're wrong, it isn't that I don't believe you, it's not that I don't want to be the guy helping every single person here, it's that I can't prove it for all of you, and the lack of witnesses in most cases doesn't do a lot of good on that front either.

I'm not a quitter. I'm not dumping those of you I'm already working with on this for anything, but I won't be taking on new cases dealing with that specific incident for the immediate future. There's just not enough evidence, and my hands are more than full with something that's already proving to be really tricky while I'm trying to build those cases.

That said, I'm going to have to refer you to someone else I work with if you're bringing one of those in and we haven't already talked. I hate to do that, but it's a lot of cases, when combined with the other ones I'm working on, won't give me the right time to build your case or represent you properly.

My plate is full. It's overflowing. And I've never minded overflowing until it comes to this point where I have to turn some of you away. I know that there are other lawyers here who might advise you, or may have some open case time, but right now? It just can't be me, and I won't compromise you, or the clients I already have just to get more of them moving through. That isn't the guy I want to be, and it's not who I am, and I'm not going to start it now.

If you can stand me after that, then...Hi Valarnet. What do we do for fun here?

[Filtered to the following Agency assets: Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Oliver Queen, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Scott Summers, Tyra Shepard, Maria Hill, Phil Coulson, Greg Lestrade]

We have a portal to space opening up over Death Valley. I have a jet waiting for each of you. We're leaving in one hour. Collect who you trust to help.

We're not alone.

[Filtered to the rest of The Agency]
Code level RED. I need all of you at base monitoring the situation. Await further orders.

I swam my first lap today without floaties! Has anyone else tried to learn a skill that they seemed to excel at in their dreams, but didn't know how to do in real life?

I think I finally got enough money in the bank to get a place of my own. Anyone looking for a roommate? I'm pretty quiet and stay out of the way. Easy to live with.

I don't think I've ever been so hungry or anxious in my entire life. It's been almost twelve hours since I've put anything in my stomach and there's still several to go before they put me under. I feel like an addict coming down off a high. And there's this lad who keeps walking by the window shoveling pudding down his throat and I just want to wrap my hands around his neck and strangle him until--- some. And you want to know the worst part? They have me hooked up to this IV bag and I'm pissing every half hour and I'm not even drinking anything!

I don't mean to complain. I know there are people in the world that can't eat because they don't have food to eat-

No, I am complaining. I'm complaining a lot.

I'm fucking hungry.

[Filtered to Clarice, Jean, Jubilee, Kitty, Rahne, Wade and Xi'an]

If you want to beat up some aliens, I'll pick you up.

[To Emma]

I know you probably don't want to know about this, but we've got a problem in the desert, and they need everyone they can get their hands on to help.

I just wanted to say..just in in case....

I'm going out of town. Alien invasion, welcome to the new normal. Want a souvenier?

[Meetra and Obi-wan]

If either of you are available, we're dealing with some serious problems and could use your help.