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What does one give as a birthday present to the man they've started going out with, when it feels that it might turn serious soon, but none of you have said it yet?

...I'm falling for someone. I thought that it would never happen. I've no idea what to expect.

So there was a guy on here looking for a yoga teacher who could stomach patchouli, Enya, and neopagans. You still around? I don't remember your name and I didn't bookmark your post, sorry.

Sitting here and laughing at the weird shit that happens to other people seems like a bad idea. Like I'm tempting fate or something.

Still. Can't help but laugh when funny things happen.

Fire.

The only way to do laundry.

So, I called the mole lady Nurse Hatchet, and she's surprisingly upset with me. Since my girlfriend's downstairs working (my girlfriend is awesome by the way, seriously, yours isn't as good, just accept it) I've got to come up with a way to pass the time, since now Hatchet is glaring at me and won't talk to me.

SO. Uncle Tony is going to help you fuckers out. Sounds great, right?

Treat this like an advice column. Ask me a question, and I'll try to help you through your life's problems and bullshit like that.

And I swear to God, if someone sends me strippers again I'm going to return the favor. With a male stripper.

A bear stripper. An old bear stripper. Unless you're into that kind of thing, which is okay, not judging, but then you get like, an old lady. I don't know, just don't send strippers seriously.

Has anyone run across a teenage girl? She seemed like a runaway and there were men after her. I'm starting to enjoy beating up jerks

I'm just going to take this moment to lay a couple of rumors to rest here regarding the storyline involving my sexuality. I would like to maintain that I have never, ever, in my life stated a gender preference, though there are some of you I would not touch with a ten foot pole, particularly if you're family, under eighteen, really, really boring, or a friend.

At the moment, I am currently enjoying the hetero side of my sexuality, which I see as kind of on a spectrum. Sometimes you just like the person, which sounds horribly deep for me, so let's change that to body.

Just before the debates start, although it's been at least a week since I was on TV...

Also, on a totally unrelated note, I need to make a damn convincing apology for something major that I fucked up on a few years back. Anyone have ANY ideas there?

....Why am I in Clint Barton's bed?

More to the point, what DAY is it?

I find myself rather alarmed by what some see fit to post on the Internet.

Ever re-watch a movie you loved as a kid and realize the special effects are total crap? Yeah. I'm there right now.