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Honestly, fuck my dreams. They're getting progressively worse. Like I said before, the only good thing has been the clothes that have shown up in my closet after the dreams. I need to find a place to wear the dress that showed up this morning.

Also, I found out that there's a place in Loria called The Cock Barrens. It's legit a large group of purple rocks that look like penises. I shit you not. It's safe to say that Fillory and Loria are the most bizarre places ever.

On a better, more superficial note, I looked good today.

( Selfie Time )

I'm announcing the ultimate Halloween bash.

When: October 31st of course, 8pm Ship/LA time
Where: The USS Enterprise, in standard orbit around Saturn, which I'm temporarily renaming Spookturn

Bring yourself, and maybe a costume your mandatory costume! Eighteen or older as there'll be alcohol as it's my ship, my rules and we'll be well out of any jurisdiction.

I'll begin beaming people up around 4pm and we'll leave Earth at 5pm.

RSVP here!

There really is no feeling quite like watching your dream self make decisions that even she knows are going to come back around to bite her in the ass.

And I thought I made bad decisions.

Ya think anyone would notice if a certain 'journalist' suddenly turned up dead in an alleyway someplace? I ain't felt this homicidal in a long, long time.

[Michael Glass]

What the hell's she talking about, retirement?

Coming to Califoria has me reflecting on family, and what it means to have one.

Family is something one is cursed with, whether they want to be or not. No one is given a choice what kind of family they're born into, only what they do about it when they're old enough to know better.

But being the living embodiment of the 'surprise bitch' meme at the trial today was the highlight of my week and almost made it all worth it.

Serves the old bastard right.

Nothing like being suckerpunched in the gut first thing by a weird surge of energy.

If you'll excuse me I'm going to pop some painkillers and go back to bed.

Also old news for some but holy shit Fillory is real but definitely could have done without experiencing all the naked and being tied up in ropes.

So. Whatever that was I felt this morning not only woke me up, I transformed into Sailor V out of instinct and ran into the main area of the house. Where Alice's dad was. I didn't know what to say when he asked why I was dressed so weird, but he decided to roll with it. I guess people outside the network really don't pay much attention to the weird stuff that happens here, do they?

That being said, is everybody okay?

TW: Discussions about massive loss of life are in the comments

Welp, my friend obliterated my entire ... like everything. Running around in Logan's spare wifebeater and a pair of jeans that maybe go down to my knees. I feel like Oliver Twist right now. She got my wallet, too, so THAT's been fun.

And my luck isn't even *gone anywhere* right now. This is my luck actually *working*, since me and Guinness are fine.

But Jesus, this sucks. Gotta find a new place, gotta replace all my clothes. At least my weapon arsenal was in another building.

[Private to Jaina]
When you come down from whatever the hell this was long enough to breathe, we need to talk.

Hypothetically speaking.... Say in the Dreams, there's a device that can create whatever you think of. And in this device, despite it only being within it, you think up something that contains a physical manifestation of something that has no words and isn't actually real. A representation as it were.

Then you wake up and the physical manifestation of this representative object shows up here. Would it be empty or not?

Asking for a friend. Bloody hell

I was very proud of the fact that until now I had not actually heard that bloody Baby Shark song, but today that all changed. I had a meeting with a client for their kid's first birthday and the meeting was at their house, which is fine, but they must have played that bloody song for the kid at least a dozen times. And now it's been popping up in my head ever since. No matter what else I listen to, it just pops up when I least expect it. I think I need a few drinks.

I really should check this more often. I guess I wasn't the only one the past week was weird for.

Boris Johnson lost his majority in Parliament today. Shockingly there are still members of Parliament who seem to have at least half a brain and realize a No Deal Brexit would devastate the UK. So we'll see how this plays out now.

Now if Parliament could get something done before Friday when they go on prorogue that might actually block a No Deal Brexit, that would be great.

( Locked to members of staff at Mercy's Clinic )

( Alex )

( Margo )

Woke up with a pounding headache. These dreams sure know how to show a guy a good time.

I joked when I came out to my parents, give it a few months and I'll be asked why I don't have a boyfriend OR girlfriend. Because Mom's a housewife and I'm her biggest hobby.

Guess who just got asked "Have you met any cute boys or cute girls yet this year?" You get three guesses, and the first two don't count. She even suggest I cook for them... and do what? Impress them by being the first person to blow up a stove by trying to boil water? I don't have TIME to date. I've got a job, I'm doing a double major, I've got tryouts for the next musical our uni does before long... What free time do I have for anyone? No matter how cute? I mean if someone cute falls into my lap, they fall into my lap. But I've got stuff to accomplish and that's kind of more important right now? Until then, my free time is devoted to practicing, sports, and trying to play through my Steam library.

Rehab wore me out, I'm not even in the mood to read. So I'm coming to you guys for suggestion on what to watch that's mind-numbing.

Go!

I guess that old adage of be careful what you wish for really is true.

What day is it? It's Monday? Good lord. That's the problem with fantastic weekends. Not that I remember much, but that's typically a sign of a very good time.

Anyway. Happy Monday, everyone. I'm going back to bed.

Now that Roman and I have finally moved into our house, I never want to move again. Moving is such a fucking hassle and I've done it three times in the last two years. It's not happening again. Not only that, but I love this house. It's possibly the nicest house I've ever lived in.

Once we're completely settled in we're going to have a house warming party, which I'm very much looking forward to.

One of my favorite things about this house is how bright it is. It's perfect for selfies.

( Perfect Selfie Light )

It bloody figures that right after Cosima leaves, in the waking world, she goes off in the dreams to find her cure. And then Sarah goes off to find Cosima and of course it all has to do with Rachel. We're trusting that Rachel won't double cross us, which is not the smartest plan we've had, but we have no choice. I hate it when we have no choice.

And then Adele is asking questions that I can't answer if I want to keep her safe, but it's difficult when she's now met Sarah, Alison and Helena and even I know that telling her that they're triplets is bloody mad considering they all have different accents, but what else am I supposed to do? And then Krystal shows up again and when we tell her she's a clone she doesn't believe us even with Sarah standing right there!

I honestly don't know how dream!me handles all of this without cracking. Oh yes, I know how, he drinks and self medicates.

I didn't think I'd actually say this, but for the first time I'm glad I'm here and not in Boston. It's hotter there right now than it is here and it looks like that's going to be the case for a few days. While I miss the East Coast, I don't miss the humidity during their heatwaves.

I'm feeling the 80's today. I need a great 80's playlist for my salon.

Give me all the greatest hits - GOOOOO!

I am getting super annoyed with spam bots blowing my phone up. No matter how many numbers I block, there's still just as many each day as there was the last. Part of me wants to just keep my phone on silent to avoid them, but what if it's my parents, my boss, Alice, people I actually want to talk to?

And why do they have to blow my phone up when I'm trying to sleep? I have a month left of vacation before I go back to working towards two degrees. I'm not blowing your phones up in the middle of...



...You know what, is anyone here good at hacking? So we could figure out who owns these spam bots and give them the same wakeup calls?

My latest rescue cat appears to finally have settled into the studio, judging from finding her atop my fabric supplies. I know that it's one of the few places to get some peace, but I could've done without having to fish her down. Especially when the others then think it's a game.

Pro tip to cut down on gym memberships, bulk buy cat supplies and heft them from the car to your apartment. It cuts out premiums on gym memberships and no one ever asks 'do you even lift?'

I really loathe high school football. Any football, actually. But especially high school games. Like, why would I dream about going to a game, and using that as a forum to make up with my best friend, who happens to be the new star of the team? In these dreams and in my actual life, I am probably the last guy who would ever attend a high school football game. That's just absolutely not my thing.

Trish called me this morning to wish me a happy birthday, which would have been nice I guess, except for the fact that she was apparently with Dorothy. That, and Trish apparently forgot about the time difference.

Nothing to say 'happy birthday, Jessica' like being woken up at 7 am and listening to your adoptive mother going on for ten minutes about how you're throwing your life away. I need a drink.

Possible TMI, not that I care really. If there’s one thing I love about having a private roof top terrace, it’s that I can sunbathe nude without worrying anyone seeing me. Well, aside from Alexander that is. ;)

Oh fuck no! This might be the most fucking terrifying thing I have ever seen. Why would anyone want to do this?

So I have a question for all the dreamers out there. Okay wow that sounded like some really crappy thing a radio DJ would say but hey go with the flow.

How do you generally deal with stuff from the dreams turning up here? Like actual things? Things that were not there before you went to sleep?

It's weird, house hunting with Nico and Will. Because of Mom's show, I haven't really lived in our house back in New Orleans since middle school. We were always hopping around the country and staying in hotel rooms. I mean, they were nice hotel rooms, but still. Then I moved into the dorms at school, and from there their spare room at their apartment. I... honestly don't know how to look for a house. Or at a house. Not in any way that I can really contribute much to the conversation. Pretty sure "Carpet in the kitchen was an interesting choice" isn't exactly helpful. Although I stand by that opinion all the same. In the bathroom was even more an interesting choice

I just don't know how to give my opinions on what I'd like to see when I don't even know what I want to see.

So, this being pride month? I finally came out to my parents. Subtle has never been my middle name, so standing there in the kitchen like a neon light while I went to drop off some things we borrowed was the very most me way to do it. It took Mom a few minutes to get what my shirt said, and dad even longer. She pretty much had to spell it out for him while I stood there nervous.

We had a long talk about what it meant, was I sure, was that Skeeter article from way back when right (ew Mom, no. Alice has always been family and Logan practically is now as well), and just generalized worry for me. But in the end, they understood and accepted me. And I am so so relieved. I've been keeping this a secret from them for so long. And they love me just as I am.

Not sure how the short skirted super hero talk will go, but that's for another time. Like. Maybe when I'm 30?

And I know I'm lucky and that's not how every one's parents have reacted. Still react even now in 2019. But I am so happy I told them, and I only wish I didn't hide it for so long.

You know I’m pretty new at relationships, more in the Dreams than here, but even I know that sleeping with somebody to get back at your boyfriend? Tends to be a pretty shitty idea. No matter what we did he might have done to piss you off. We all ended up in the Neitherlands - which is this vaguely creepy area between the worlds that’s full of fountains that lead to the different worlds. But we don’t hang out there for very long after Quentin one of the other guys falls through one of the fountains. Instead we go to the library where everything’s good until I fuck up and read Mike’s book and realize how badly his life got messed up by the Beast and by me, and set it on fire. We get tossed out after that.

You’d think setting something on fire in the Dreams would stop it from showing up here but no such luck. Magnus? Does the Guild want a book about the life of a man who got taken over by the Beast?

Since all the other forums seem to be rather boring, thought I'd check this one out.

Can't believe I haven't heard of it given that I grew up in the area.

So, what exactly is this? Give me the tl;dr version.

If I ever suggest using probability magic someone please slap some sense into me because clearly I’ll have lost my mind after seeing how effective it is in my Dreams. I never want to dream my death ever again. Especially not over and over showing what’s going to happen if we follow this path over that one. But we don’t find a way that didn’t lead to us all dying - going to Fillory and killing the Beast. But in order to do it we have to learn battle magic and since it’s not taught at Brakebills and there are no books on it in the library, we resort to the spells that the hedge witches use. Which is even more dangerous than regular battle magic would be. What could possibly go wrong with that?

In order to master it we have to get rid of our emotions because they could distract us and we put them in these bottles to store until after we’re done, which drinking them is quite possibly the best high I’ve ever had here or there and it led to me sleeping with Margo and Quentin Q another one of our friends whose girlfriend was not at all happy the next morning at finding the three of us in bed together.

When I woke up the bottle I used was on the bed between me and Felix. I'm pretty sure I want to hold onto this particular gift even less than I did the books.

Well it turns out that I can still be surprised by my clients and their requests. They want a costume party/BBQ for the Fourth of July. And while I normally hate the idea of costumes except for Halloween from what we’ve talked about so far I can’t say I actually hate this one.

It's weird to have a dream-weapon appear in my room.

But I must admit that it's nice to not have another scar show up.

Luckily, I am the only one who can activate it. Oh yeah, it's a pipe-staff...when activated is six feet long, glows red and has rotating blades on the end. Feels familiar when I hold it.

My Dreams have, at last, shown me my destiny. I discovered a ritual on the planet Voss which allowed me to heal my mind and strengthen my body so I could control the power I had borrowed from those ancient Sith Lords. After a minor diversion involving a superweapon test, whereupon I gained another ally in a Sith Lord who was in the line of fire that I warned, I finally confronted Darth Thanaton and ended his ridiculous crusade against me.

The power that coursed through me was incredible. In the end I stood victorious, and took his mantle for my own.

Darth Imperius of the Dark Council, head of the Sphere of Ancient Knowledge, with Thanaton dead at her feet. And what do you know, all those people I spared and allied with were very quick to pledge their loyalty.

Before I can begin the task of reforming my empire, there was one last thing to do.

I was presented with two options, for the Sith Ghosts in my head. Keep them chained and bound them to me, or release them back into their ghostly forms.

I chose option three.

I set them free. Bathed in light, free'd from their pain and their pasts.

I gave them peace.

I went to two different bloody Starbucks today and both were sold out of the Mango Dragonfruit Refresher. Clearly they hadn't realized just how popular this drink was going to be this year. I had no problems last summer, but this is the third time this has happened in the last week. Other people need to stop ordering my drink.

Shit. Well, I think it's safe to say that I'm not human anymore. I was really hoping it'd take longer before I turned, but after last night's full moon, I'm pretty sure I'm officially a werewolf. I had a feeling it was happening after I barely got drunk last weekend after everything I drank and then as it got closer to the full moon I started feeling really aggressive. I almost got into a fight with some guy in the store Friday cause he bumped into me, which was really crazy. And then last night...well I didn't actually turn into a wolf or anything like that, but there were a few things that definitely changed and my eyes glowed red.

This is definitely gonna take some time to get used to.

I know I'm not a Californian native, but A. I know enough to know that the state's been in a drought for close to a decade now and B. an open bonfire near trees and buildings is a baaaad idea. Especially when the wood is dry and the people that built it are all drunk.

Sadly, my neighbors don't seem to know this. I took a picture and I'm texting it to the landlord now. What is wrong with people?

Last night's unofficial listening party for Carly Rae Jepsen's new album was big hit. I even created a special drink for the night which, according to my bartenders, went over very well. We might have to do other events like this in the future.

( Last Night's Look )

Cal State not only accepted my request to work for them in a researcher capacity but confirmed there's a chance they'll support me applying for my PhD depending on how my research goes. It definitely beats out the other offer I got from a high school for a teaching position which... isn't even what I'd asked or applied for, so God knows how they'd managed to get hold of my CV and cover letter.

Goodbye fucking awful temp work. I start a week on Monday.

Q, drinks are on me tonight.

These dreams they are... There are some things I would not wish to relive and yet here I am, dreaming.

My mother being one of those things.

I suppose it is a good thing I do not need to sleep often or there might be more dreams.

Oh for Christ's sake people learn to read contracts before you sign them. Read not skim. I did not go to the trouble of filling the thing out WITH YOU to make sure everything you wanted for your event was in there and telling you four times that the deposit was nonrefundable and that I needed 72 hours notice for a cancellation. 72. Not 24. Not 36. 72. Minimum. Because I have to contact everyone that I hired and signed contracts with for your event and cancel them.

And I paid those deposits out of the deposit you gave me. Also even with you cancelling? I've put in a number of hours organizing this that I could have spent on other clients. Clients that didn't call on a Friday night to cancel their Saturday party. At 9 on Friday night actually. As I'm getting ready to go out myself. So thanks for being an inconsiderate asshole and ruining my night by not following the contract and calling earlier.

And even after I reminded you of the contract you signed and emailed it to you again so that you could read it over again and see I wasn't, as you put it, "bullshitting to keep the money", you still want a refund of your deposit in full? No. I don't work for free any more than you do. Go ahead and have your lawyers contact me. I'll show them the contract that you signed with me stating that you understood my policies.

[Margo]
I took the flask back. I have a feeling I'm going to need it the next few days.

[Felix]
Next buy's on me darling. I needed it after that call.

[Minako]
I'll leave their papers in your desk just in case their lawyers do show up so you can give them a paper copy. If they call - just send it on over to my phone. This is one customer you don't need to protect from me with their idiocy. They've more than earned anything I say to them.

Well, I'll give the porgs or whatever they are one thing, they managed to make some very traumatized kids smile.

This... is not the way I meant to be spending my best friend's birthday, with a space penguin infestation. How many of these things ARE there?

You, wearing my Columbia hat? You're cute, you can stay. But you over there with my transformation pen? You've overstayed your welcome. Give that back before I kick your feathery butt!

If you had told me a couple weeks ago that I would be waking up to the sound of the ocean I would have called you a liar, but here I am, loving every second of it. Admittedly it would be better if I had a job but... slow and steady or whatever it is they say. Can't run before you walk. I'm just full of these sayings today, apparently. I blame the coffee, I've definitely had too much coffee.

Pretty sure it wasn't decaf.

Maybe I should put this energy to good use, like... job hunting.

Office hell here I come.

Do professors take "bi-monthly semi-apocalypse" as a valid reason for a late assignment, or does that happen so frequently in Orange County that they figure you should have known and planned ahead for such a thing? Inquiring minds (and GPAs) want to know.

How many vacations can I get away with taking in one year? I work for myself so I don't have to clear it with a boss and my assistant is more than capable of handling the phones and keeping things on track once the contract is signed and all the vendors have been hired. Doomsayers, dragons, all of that I can handle. An earthquake damaging the buildings around my office before we get to move in and my best friend's boyfriend almost dying ending up in the hospital in the same week is pushing my limits.

I know I'm probably going to fucking regret this later, but I want to know what happens in my dreams. It's been months since I woke up with this tattoo seared into my back and I want to know if it was actually worth scaring myself for. I mean, do we win or does the Beast just kill us all and that's it? Do we all end up dead because of Quentin Coldwater? This is so incredibly frustrating.

Now that I have an assistant it was only a matter of time before I got an actual office space for my business. I already miss the days of just bothering Margo at her job while I was dealing with my clients on the phone.