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Ohmygod. It's almost Valentine's Day.

What do I

I've never done this

What do I do?

help :(

I think it's total bullshit that I'm getting nightmares about my nightmares. What the fuck.

I'm bored, someone entertain me.

I know that a lot of people here have had rather crazy dreams and I think I may be adding my name to that list. Could have just been a normal dream, but it felt different than the usual naked on stage dreams I've had in the past.

In this dream, I met this bloke who was getting beat up behind a diner and saved his life. His name was George and he claimed he was a werewolf. I mean, how mad is that? Oddly enough, I believe it. That was the reason those arseholes were beating him up. After that, we became friends and then we moved in together in Bristol. Friends with a werewolf. Somehow I'm not surprised.

Of course, I ate chinese food before I went to bed last night, so that could have had something to do with it.

Also, karaoke might be something I'll have to do again. It felt good to be up on stage again, even if it wasn't in the same way that I'm used to.

Now that I am all better, I can resume my quest for the perfect donut. And getting laid. And getting a real boyfriend.

You've been warned.

Inspiration used to come so easily, before X-Factor. Before I had teams of people improving upon things I'd written. Before I started sticking a needle in my arm on a regular basis, because I thought it made me more creative. I'm pretty sure the heroin warped my brain. All I want is to write a bloody song. To get back on stage.

[Private to Ginny Weasley]
You don't know me, although you may have heard of me, but my name is John Mitchell and I spoke to your brother Percy some weeks ago, before the flu outbreak and he told me you were in the industry. I know the TV and music are different, but I'm looking to revive my career and I need to find a new manager; problem is, I technically don't know how to go about it, because my last manager sought me out.

Well this is a bunch of balls.

If I die from this shit, then you guys can split my stuff. Oh and make sure my tombstone says how amazing I am, and how nice my rack was. You can donate that shit to science.

You guys are so cute with your little hangovers. I am the queen of no hangovers. Because I know the voodoo secret to never ever having one.

And no, I don't mean don't drink. God, I'm not even sure what I did last night exactly. I think I took my top off. Huh.

Anyway yes. No hangover. Because I'm amazing.

I just realized that I haven't been under any mistletoe this year. I'm so lame.

Merry Christmas Eve everybody! I might have to go get toasted on egg nog.

Apocalypse, wow.

Anybody else think we need to have some kind of survival party? I'll spring for take out if we do it as BYOB.

Who wants to go have a snowball fight?

I will take on all challengers!

I've woken.

It's weird to say that because I wasn't asleep, but... it sort of feels that way. After the explosions, and the darkness, it seemed like a long, continuous dream, some voices, some louder dreams, but...

A dream, and not one that took a long time. The darkness seemed to last years, and yet moments, at the same time. When I woke in the hospital, I honestly thought I had been out for hours. Instead I lost a week and some change.

And it's weird.

I'll be in here, probably, through Christmas. The likelihood of me getting out before that is low. And, while that doesn't bother me, it's just an odd thing. Previous to last Friday, I was planning on going to shoot simple scenes this week, and then get back to stunts and action this coming week. And now... now it wont be until around the new year before I can do that, really. If not later.

So... I'm awake. And I'm, bored.

Hello, again, Valarnet.

Has anyone heard from Thor yet? Please tell me that Skeeter woman's not telling the truth!

Annnnnnd guess who's royally sick when there's lots of things to be done?

I can do most of them from home though, I guess. This sucks. I was doing so good, and I wasn't getting sick. And now I feel like I got run over. Again. I really do feel like about the same as well I nearly got hit by a car. Fun times.

If anyone needs me, they have to bring me soup.

Ladies & Gentlemen, boys and girls and whatever you identify with, I have an announcement. Big, life changing announcement actually.

Well, not for you. I mean, your lives will basically be the same.

I, Tony Stark, will be marrying the hell out of Pepper Potts because I asked her and she said yes. And if any of you talk her out of it, I'll find where you live and blast metal outside your house while you try to bring home your date for the first time. You know the one, the hot architect or whatever.

But seriously. We're engaged.

So, at first this was just going to be for Stark Industries, but then I realized I was a rampaging douche to virtually all of you, so let's do this right.

I'm sorry I'm a dick. Come eat Turkey tomorrow. Irvine Campus, all day.

I'm making the cranberry sauce.

Is it Thursday yet? I just want to shove food in my face. Sigh.

Then it's off to all the Black Friday sales. Wish me luck not getting trampled or something. If I do, uh.. Steve can have all my stuff.

Welcome to the internet.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

Ugh I love Halloween so frickin much. I actually loved dressing up as Mary Todd Lincoln, except it was kind of surreal. And no, I didn't go as some slutty version of her. I could do a giant rant about women's costumes and how they're all sexy versions of things where men's cover the whole body, but I'll spare you it.

I even have candy.

Also, I decided this halloween that someday, I want to have kids. Like one day far far far in the future. To take them trick or treating. I bet that would be awesome.

Also my frickin boss is missing and trying to cover it up is a giant pain in the ass

[Steve]
You haven't heard from Tony, right? I kind of figure you haven't but well. Trying to figure out where he is and yet try to assure people that he's not missing is making me pull out my hair.

[Filtered away from Steve Rogers]

Okay so um.. how do you tell if someone actually likes you more than just friends? I mean if it's not a usual kind of relationship where you're y'know fooling around all the time.

And I get it, I need to have a conversation and just ask, but that's so frickin awkward. 'Hey do you like me? Circle yes or no'.

Well.

Safe to say the new boosters worked.

...Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter?

I don't know what to say. I guess if it gets people interested in history?

Awful confessions of the night: I can't stop listening to Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx on the Rock of Ages soundtrack. Cannot. Stop.

Tell me your awful confessions.

I can't unsee this, so I must now share it with all of you. Misery, company, etc. You're welcome!

Well, at least I've only gotten one thing I really didn't want to see so far. Guess I'm luckier than some.

...Even if it kinda sucks that everything screws up when I wanna ask people more, uh, private things.

I'm going to set up a tumblr. It's going to be called Damn You Auto Texts of This Internet Site.

Though I might change the name.

I'm going to put all of these messed up texts and posts in it. For posterity's sake. I mean this stuff should be on the internet.

I only laugh because I don't get messages in the first place.

I took a super nice long nap after I got home today and then I slept too long, so now I'm going to be up all night.

Oh well, I guess. It was a seriously nice nap. I can't complain. Everyone has more fun live than me. I just sit around and nap and watch Honey Boo Boo. That whole show is a trainwreck of crazy and awesome. I didn't even watch toddlers and tiaras.

Hello Valarnet.

Save the date, September 7th. Stark Industries is going to have a little shindig to celebrate the opening of the campus. Black tie, and I personally guarantee an amazing time.

See you there, kiddos.

Life is short.

Drive fast. Leave a sexy corpse.

Right, going to make something very clear.

Don't ever anyone, even if you think it's funny, ask me if I'm your mummy.

What does the H in Jesus H Christ stand for anyway?

And why am I awake?

Anyhow, mountain climbing has been postponed on account of the partying done last night and I'm pretty sure I broke my one of my thumbs last night.

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTY!

Sometimes you just have to smile, nod and do as your told when you're facing the person. And then when you're finally home free you can call them an ungrateful wannabe he-bitch whose got more hair on her face than a weasel on the internet because that's how we handle things in the digital age of pretend anonymity.

...I see some pretty heavey drinking in my imediate future.

Anybody want to meet me somewhere I can tell you all the tales of my great battles as a fucking viking ALIEN prince of somewhere called what sounds a lot like Ass guard? ..Look it's funier that way and like hell I understood what half of us where saying anyway.

...Because lets face it heavy booze is recquired to process THIS.

Hello Valarnet. I'm Tony Stark.

Listen, we're announcing a new prototype phone tomorrow morning. Should ship in September, but I like to get the ball rolling with the people who kept my ass from being bored in the hospital. Here, I present you all with ( a present. )

Should arrive in tomorrow's mail. Let me know what you think. Should be compatable on your networks, if it's not let me know. The first in a long line of Shit You'll Like©.

Does anyone want to help me make sleep completely unnecessary? I don't have enough hours in the day for all that I need to do.

Now that the fuzzball problem is over, does anyone need a roommate? Alternatively, where are some good places to reside for someone who doesn't need a lot of space and doesn't have that much money?

Oh hey Kitty, I can pay you back now.

Okay, so we're hosting a shindig for the Olympic's at Loki's Bar thing. On me, with feeds for the games, particularly our local boys & girls.

( And this will be -our- game. )

I named my little furry guys.

Mr. White, Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Brown and Mr. Blue.

Though I think I might have to start using the seven dwarves as names if they continue to multiply like this. Though I've got a lot of room, considering I'm pretty much living on the street. So.. that's good?

...for as long as I live...I will kill it on sight and consider it to be PTSD. True, they're absolutely brilliant for target practice. Nothing better than taking aim at hairy bollocks. But I'd rather like to be done with the little menaces sooner rather than later.

( click here for more WTH HAIRY THINGS. )

Well this sucks.

I got fired from my barista job. I knew it was coming, so I guess I can't be that surprised. I didn't do anything wrong, they were just laying off people, because they're slow on business. So now I have no job, and I'm pretty much going to be tossed out of my sister's house. She's been looking for any excuse to get rid of me.

Yay for being homeless. If anyone needs me, I'll be uh.. somewhere. Maybe hooking on the street. That sounds about right.

I'm pretty sure it's impossible for this weekend to get any better. It'd create a happiness singularity and end the world.

I got a question. Say your boss wanted you to do something you didn't rightly agree with. What would you do?

To all of the dudes (and possibly ladies) I kissed during National Kissing Day: you're welcome.

If you want to do it again, let me know.

Hey Thor? I had a dream about you last night. And I kind of tazed you. I'm sorry. I won't actually taze you. You just kind of scared me.

I like my job. No, I love my job. I'm proud of what I do. I actually get paid to have fun.

So the next person who tells me how I can still turn my life around, that I can do something productive with my life... well, they'll probably just get me laughing in their face.

I am a stripper. And I love it.

What day it is, you ask? One of the loveliest days in the world.

It's International Kissing Day, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, go forth and celebrate it properly.

Who wants to go drinking and watch fireworks and amazing things with me?

Actually I mean who wants me to tag along with them on their shenanigans? Because I am awesome to be around.

[ooc: Pretend this was posted earlier]

Anyone wanna go see Rock of Ages?

Anyone who doesn't want to sing along, need not apply.

Sister used my keys for something, then locked me out. Fantastic. It's late and I can't find a stupid locksmith.

FML. Actually FTD. Fuck this door. Should I smash a window? Except then it would just be open and that would be bad.

Oh right, Father's Day. Who wants to be my baby daddy? You could celebrate this holiday by next year, wouldn't that be fucking awesome?

I made it home, for anyone who gave a shit.