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And so after having finally managed to clean cupcake mix off of Athos's ceiling, I had more dreams. The capital D kind. We were celebrating Porthos's birthday and he was drunkenly trying to shoot a melon off of Aramis's head. I was concerned but apparently he'd never made the shot sober so Aramis let him do it. Anyway, Porthos ended up getting framed for murder, and set for execution. He was broken out of jail while we were trying to figure out how to save him when the Court of Miracles did. It bought us some time to find the real killer, which of course we did because that's what Musketeers do.

I also woke up to a large pistol. One I recognized from the dreams on my desk. It almost looks like the one Aramis received but less ornate in design. All the same I'm rather fond of it.

So my kitchen is a complete mess and will probably take a lot of cleaning but I do have boyfriend made cupcakes to show for it so I can't be mad at him.

Never let it be said I can't make fun of myself.

Like most everyone here, I am so, so glad to be myself again. Much fun as I had the few days I was a woman. Also, I have a very, very deep and newfound respect for women who wear heels on a daily basis. They are terrifying. Terrifying. Kudos.

In any case, I was on my into my room after a shower just now and saw what can only be described as the most amount of leather ever compiled in one place at one time. And I've seen a lot of leather at one time. These clothes, however, are amazing. Naturally I put on the whole get-up, because why woudn't I when I've got the hat sitting so near. It's alarmingly heavy and hot, but I think I look pretty good.

It comes on the heels of dreams, of course. The good news is, the woman we were helping got her baby back and the monarchy of France was saved. Then there was this rather lovely woman who wanted to educate young girls, so naturally she was accused of witchcraft. She rather fancied Athos, which was hilarious. We were at her trial and this other woman showed up that caused Athos to have a fit, we saved Cardinal Richelieu's life (and I say we but I was the one who carried him and went into responsive action). Also we saved the woman from being burnt at the stake. Though I gave her my cross from the queen to hold on to, to give her faith, and then of course the queen shows up and sees it. I think she was a bit jealous, to be honest with you. There's no good way this can possibly end.

Also. I have a lot of furniture and some stuff I don't need once I move. If anyone is looking for anything, let me know.

I have a slight problem. Well two problems that were not there before. Technically three?

OOC Note: This PSA is The Agency's cover-up for the recent Game Wide Plot, and is for those who are Hard Opted-Out

Around midnight this very early morning/late yesterday evening, it came to the attention of local authorities that hallucinogens may have been carelessly tossed into Orange County's water supply.

If you're seein' weird shit like your best girl friend suddenly becoming a male? You may be affected by this. Please do NOT go to a local hospital, as they will be woefully unable to help you. Instead, drink plenty of bottled water and get some exercise to flush the drugs from your system, and try to take it easy. Local shelters have been provided with a metric shitload of clean, bottled water to provide you with.

Thank you for your time.

[Agency Assets, Employees, Contacts]
Alright, sound off. Who woke up with parts they didn't have before? I know Carter's effected, but like Hell am I sorting through all of these posts.

Oh. My God. I'm not certain there's any phrase in any of the languages I know to quite describe, exactly, what is even happening.

Ugh, this is what I get for speaking out against my turn and being impatient with the chief. Now I'm on night shift till the end of the month. You'd think I'd learn by now when to hold my tongue even when he's being unreasonable. He'd say this isn't out of spite, but I was not on night shift before. He was trying to change everything with no reason or need that we could see and all it was doing was creating confusion. But apparently it's not my place to question and I'm to take orders no matter what they are'

[Sharon]
I wouldn't advise speaking much with the chief currently, he seems to be in a foul mood and I'm unsure why.

I'm still on the fence as to how I feel about children as a species, but I did have an amusing conversation while at the docks today.

I was tying up my boat after going out for an afternoon sail, and was approached by a little girl. She introduced herself (Molly, I think), and I introduced myself as James Hook. She asked me what I was, and I told her I was a lawyer.

After inspecting me and my boat with a shrewd eye, she replied that no, I was clearly a pirate.

I tried explaining that lawyers aren't really all that bad, but she was insistent. "Your name is Hook," she explained, in that very logical way that children have, "You're missing a hand, and your boat is called The Jolly Roger. You have to be a pirate."

So I winked and told her not to tell anyone, and she ran off quite happy that she'd met a real live pirate.

So there we are, then. James Matthew Hook, esquire. A pirate.

You know, I'm not much of a fan of how the dreams seem to stop mid adventure. The good news is, we saved the Court of Miracles from being blown to bits. Now we've been sent to help a mother and a child. It appears my dream self has an alarmingly similar history to my real self. Not the most comfortable of things to bring to mind. Ah well.

If anything, I'm reminded of how badly I'd quite like a family.

Also, in case you were wondering, only a mere twenty-two days left until World Cup time.

It appears I'm getting a roommate. Or, well, Porthos is getting a roommate, and it's me. I'll admit that at first I wasn't so sure, but it's really a nice option. It's closer to work, I'll have just as much space (if not a bit more) as I do in my current apartment, and cost of living will certainly go down. Not to mention the fantastic kitchen.

The downside being I'll have to leave behind the little garden I've grown very fond of and work on planting an entirely new one. Needs must, I suppose. I've handed in my one month's notice so the move will be entirely official mid-June. Perhaps we'll have a big housewarming party of sorts.

Aramis and I were talking, and it's hot. Damn hot and we should do more together, the four of us. We were thinking a beach day is in order. Next week, one that'll match all our schedules. Let me know if theirs a day that works best and we'll go from there. We'll make a day of it, bring food and do the whole typical summer time sandy watermelon thing. Nevermind I don't know how to swim, I'll figure out those details later.

It's nto even six yet and I have had somuch trquila, so mny margaritaa corondas ad sangria.

How did this happen

oh my god someoen is calling for body shotsss im getting in on that

I think I've lost my phone. This is inconvenient. Also it's Cinco de mayo. Holidays with good food should basically always be celebrated.

I haven't had any odd dreams in a while. I'm not sure if this is concerning or a relief but it's making me paranoid of what's to come.

These dreams are a bit relentless, aren't there? Not that I'm complaining. They are, about 90% of the time, very entertaining. In these ones we had to escort a man to Paris but along the way we were attacked, and Porthos was badly injured by an axe or something like that. Apparently dream-me does not take it lightly when something happens to Porthos.

In any case, we went to this big old house that belonged to Athos (by the way, Athos is a count???). Through a series of events we discovered the man we were escorting was actually a slave trader, and you can guess that went off well, but we're all very quick thinkers so I suspect he won't be a problem later.

Then it was Porthos's birthday and we were all very, very drunk. He shot a melon off my head, it was sort of spectacular. Until he got framed for murder.

Also, I got the kit I used to sew up all of our wounds. It's just this little collection of various needles and the like, and I can't imagine being stitched up with any of them today, but it's sort of fantastic.

[Musketeers filter/other friends filter]
My turn for an impromptu trip. Something's come up. Shouldn't be more than a few days.

[Carter]
I trust you can man the fort a while?

This is just your friendly PSA to remind you all that it's only forty-six days until FIFA World Cup time.

I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday weekend. I certainly know I did. San Francisco is fantastic (though I am glad to be home, I suppose). I could go into details but it would be a lot and I'd hate to bore you all.

But look, pictures! Or, a picture. I honestly didn't realize I'd taken this and have no memory at all of finding a playground much less swinging, but, there you are. (Okay, there's another picture, because honestly Porthos is just photogenic and I'm not sure he knows I took that second picture oops).

( Cut for images, perfectly safe for all to view. )

Look at how handsome he is. Don't you just want to tickle all that scruff? Why yes, Ladies, he's free. But seriously, don't even try to snatch him away from me.


Also! I had more dreams on the weekend. Better ones than the last time around. Apparently I do something called "The Stare" and I was giving it to the Queen. But in my dreams she gave me a rather stunning necklace with a cross pendant on it, and when I woke up Sunday morning it was lying next to the hotel bed. The exact necklace that the Queen of France, Anne of Austria herself, gave me in my dreams. I've never seen anything quite so beautiful.

It appears I'll be making an unexpected trip this weekend. Too bad it'll be quick, but I suppose you can't win them all. C'est la vie, they say.

I do hope nothing exciting happens here while I'm gone.

Not sure I like how these dreams can mimic real life so eerily. Some things are better left forgotten or buried away in the back of your memory.

Now I can't stop thinking about if things had been different. Should've done more, in my dreams and in real life. I should have stopped -


[Private to Athos]

I know you know what happened, when I was on the job that went bad. Was there ever -

Did you ever hear anything after? About him. Did they ever find him?

Athos shot me.

[Filtered to Elsa?]
Your sister is Anna right? I thought you may want to be informed she's trying to use a car to get chocolate. As a 3 year old..What is my life

[Aramis, Athos, and Porthos]
Tell me you lot aren't children?

So it appears I'm not immune to these dreams after all.

Being accused, arrested and pardoned all in one dream was quite an experience.

According to a few of my colleagues, this is quite the place to be and to meet people. And so, ever the social butterfly, here I am.

Allow me to introduce myself: my name is James Hook, but those of you I consider friends are free to call me Jas.

I'm a lawyer here in sunny California, though I originally hail from the rather less than sunny London area.

Pleased to meet all of you, I'm quite sure.

I'm starting to feel a bit more like a functional human I think. The world isn't spinning anymore in any case.

That was..somewhat embarrassing. Got sent home for falling asleep at my desk. Didn't even realize I was tired at all. Guess I should just be grateful I don't snore.

It's been a long night. Finally got home, going to try to catch some sleep, but we'll see how it goes.

( For anyone affected by the events or looking for ways to help [cut for possible triggers] )

( trigger warnings: Bomb talk )

My friend moved away, I didn't even get to see her off.

[private filter to Athos, Aramis, and Porthos]
...

I'm pretty sure I just had the same dream Aramis had.

And there is a sword in my bed. A really old sword. Not like any of the ones I've seen before.

[private filter to Rose]

I think it's started.

how long til vomiy stops beinf green though

everything hurts abd what doesn't hurt I can't feel

Why did i do this :(

I think I've had those dreams you all talk about. And I say that, because, upon waking up this morning, there was not only a hat from the dreams, but also the most exquisitely crafted early Baroque-era pistol. They're both very fantastic items.

I think I've started smoking twice as much now that I'm seeing a smoker. It used to just be when I was stressed out, but now I find myself having to go and buy a fresh pack once a week or so.

This is dreadful. He's a horrible influence.

Well, I've been bothered by a few people to come on here. Apparently it's the best way to communicate with other citizens of Orange County. As though I can't just go down to a bar and meet people there. Doesn't anyone talk face to face anymore? Too much technology, I say.

Hello. I'm told I need to be a bit more social. So..yes. Hello. I said that already didn't I? Well I did say this was going to be an attempt in any case. My name is D'Artagnan. I know if you give me a chance we'll probably get along.

I didn't realize Lent had arrived so quickly. In my plan to give up smoking, I discovered today that I still had around two-thirds of a pack left. I couldn't bring myself to throw them away, but I couldn't do with the temptation around, so I spent most of the day chain smoking.

Now I'm sitting outside in my garden, hoping my lungs might forgive me. Might even take a walk.

But! To keep myself on course, every time I think about buying a new pack, I'm going to put that money aside. Then afterwards, I'll either buy myself a carton or go out on the town. Likely both.

So this is Orange County. I've heard stories about this place. Should be an interesting stay. The job better be worth it, that's all I can say.

I guess I should introduce myself. My name is Athos and I'm new around here. Like that wasn't really obvious.

I've decided my apartment is terribly lonely. Which is generally nice, but I'm a social creature at heart, and even when I'm reading or something, I'd still rather do it in company than on my own. So I've done something brash and exciting and got myself a kitten.

( Cut for image, warning: kitten. )

I've named him Bazin. It just came to me, though I'm not sure why, but there you have it. He's blind, so I've got all sorts of jingly toys. He's lively when he wants to play, but mostly he's content to curl up in a lap or on a warm spot on the carpet. And it gives me reason to constantly chatter, he likes to follow me around.

In any case, I'm smitten. I'm sorry to all the lovely ladies and handsome men, but my heart has been taken by Bazin and I don't think I'll ever get it back.

I can only assume that most of you by now have found a place to stay while this plays out. If not, there are plenty out there who are opening their doors, but if you plan on going somewhere you'd best decide if it's worth going outside or not.

However, don't despair. To get us all through being stuck indoors and to keep our minds distracted, Logo's facebook page has the first episode of season six of RuPaul's Drag Race up. It's as delightful as you would expect it to be.

Friends, listeners. I have joined you in that dream world I've heard about so very often. And I'm afraid my initiation was not a pleasant one.

The dream itself happened, appropriately, on the night of the fourteenth. That is to say, Valentine's Day. It's taken me this long to gather my thoughts together on this terrifying dream, but here it is.

Oh listeners, listeners, the carnage that that holiday brought my fair town!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. I suppose I should begin by saying that, in these dreams, I lived in a little desert town called Night Vale. I'm not sure where this Night Vale is, only that it's in the middle of a very vast desert, and we seemed to be quite isolated from everyone else.

There, I'm also the nightly newscaster on our local radio station. What a fun coincidence, listeners!

The news started off as one might expect it to; reports of flight delays, health tips, City Council announcements. That sort of thing. But as I sat more or less safely in my booth, horrors went on outside.

Oh my dear listeners, if only I had the words to describe the terrible event that was Night Vale's Valentine's Day! Entire neighbourhoods leveled, Emergency workers rushing to help those injured and dying.

Vivisected teddy bears.

And woe, woe to those who were chosen to become someone's Valentine!

I of course urged the good people of my town to stay indoors, to save themselves from the tragedy of candy hearts and glitter. I do not know how many towns people we lost, but my heart goes out to them, and to the families they left behind.

Anyway! My Valentine's Day here was actually pretty nice. I went out for coffee with a friend of mine.

I hope you guys had a good holiday, too!

Weird weather we're having, isn't it?

Baxter Bakery is open now, and will be open as long as possible. If you or someone you know doesn't have a safe place to stay during this craziness with the ash in the air, please come down to Baxter Bakery. There's live music and entertainment, plenty to eat and drink, and we've just had a delivery of warm blankets and pillows from one of my loyal customers. No charge for drip coffee, tea or bread and cheese. A free cookie for all children under 12.

This is a thing? When did that become a thing. Why is that a thing? I can't be the only person who eats without taking a picture or posts about it on some social networking site.

I don't get it.

Hello/Salut.

I have to say, I'm delighted to finally be spending an extended amount of time in California. It's a beautiful state, and, if I'm going to be honest, the women and the men are just as nice to look at as the scenery.

My name is Aramis, and, as it's been mentioned I'm going to be here some time, I felt it would be best to really get to know the community. This network seems the place to do that, so here I am, and I hope I'll be welcomed with open arms. In most cases, I will not object to actually being welcomed that way, should it come to pass we meet in person.

(It also happens to be my birthday today, if that makes anyone feel more inclined to open their arms to me.)