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It's time to admit we are a generation of murderers!!!!!

How Millennials Killed Mayonnaise.

But I do have questions - What are "Identity Condiments"? And is mayonnaise "the most American of foodstuffs"? Really? Really?

Well I know I’ve officially made it. Tabloids are paying attention to me. Or at least to who I leave clubs with. And no, before anyone asks on my parents behalf: it was not me rebelling against them. Trust me when I say they were the last things on my mind that night.

I really need to stop watching the ghost shows on Travel channel. Or at least stop watching My Haunted House. Although sometimes it can lead to a very interesting phone conversation with my stepmom. Like the episode I watched last night - the first story was about this girl who went to live with her dad and stepmom after mom’s death which is sad enough as it is. But then the stepmom was just absolutely horrible to her. Even went so far as to tell the dad that she didn’t want her in the house and to get her out of ‘her house’ because oh yeah. That’s nice right?

Anyway - weird stuff started happening, the teenager contacted a medium who came to the house and told her there were two spirits there. One protecting her and one attacking her. Which twist: the one attacking her is actually being caused by a living person and of course she figures out it’s the stepmom. It just got really weird, the protective spirit ended up driving the stepmom from the house. I had to call my stepmom after watching it and thank her for never treating me with anything but love from the moment I came into her life.

She wasn’t too thrilled with my dad when they found out about me, but she never took it out on me. Maybe if more stepparents had that attitude there would be less haunted house stories and less creepy fairy tales. Although I still think that the Prince in Snow White was so much creepier than the Evil Queen ever could have been.