Network

90% of the people in Canadian Dreamland are pretentious twats, and the only good thing about being considered the 'weak human sidekick' is that while everyone's head is up their own sphincters, my BS meter is going way off and I'm onto all of those shady jerkholes. Takes a con to know a con. Bitch. and who is this 'novelty whore' swooping in on my bff line can bo and dyson stop making out in front of everyone thanks TRICK I'M ONTO YOU

There was also this sad part about having made heart eyes at this really dorky and having him die? I hope that doesn't set the tone for future relationships, but that was...depressing, or whatever. I finally got something nifty from all this stuff though. A sword. Which is 10x better than getting dream!poisoned by contaminated foot soup.

And, peeps? The next time killer birds that talk too much swarm the area, all you need is a can of hairspray and a lighter. Try it sometime. It's fun.

Pops acted so surprised when I came around to teach my martial arts class at the dojo. Yeah, he roped me into it so why wouldn't I show up? Just because I moved doesn't mean I'm not still part of the dojo. I jut moved for my sanity.

It's been nice so far though I gotta get a real paying job sometime soon. Anyone in need of a martial artist?

Why do I live here? Every day is starting to feel like one step closer to complete insanity. I could be back home where the weather is normal and you can go out for a stroll without, mostly, worrying about being murdered. BY PRIMATES.

Why. Am I supposed to adjust to this? I've already adjusted to plenty. You lot are...strange. Add this on top of your sweet tea and awful Coke.

Blood rain, huh? Never seen a welcome to a place quite like this before. I think it's a rather appropriate welcome, what do you think Xena?