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This is, surprisingly, not a post about pumpkin spice or Halloween.

I'd call it an introduction. Not a blind one, however - no, I've scrolled back many pages to revel in all this...uniqueness.

Dr. Ian Malcolm, resident Chaotician at your service. I teach a few classes here and there at UCI, and recently moved to the area with my daughter who is a budding Olympic gold gymnast.

But that's only me. What about you? Lots of dream talk. I like it.

I am pretty sure the 16 year old time displaced version of the 32 year old leader of my people has a crush on me.

I know I'm obviously missing something in my dreams, but that's never been more obvious than the last couple of dreams I've had.

A couple nights ago I dreamed of going to D's for tea, and Chris was off playing somewhere. And then D's weird goat-dog-tiger thing and his raccoon that are always hanging around with Chris came running yapping at D, and D flipped the fuck out and went running and was downright relieved when he found Chris. And then neither of them would let me in on their damn conversation so I literally have no idea what happened there.

And then last night I dreamed that the captain forced me to finally take some vacation time, so I decided to be nice and took D and Chris on a week long vacation to this island. And I remember getting there and the first day there, and then nothing at all until I got back to LA.

I thought I'd just drank too much, but then Jill showed me that the islanders took out an ad in the LA Times thanking me for saving them from a damn volcano eruption? I woke up to it lying on my nightstand and everything. "We'd like to thank Detective Orcot for getting everyone off the island in time. If not for his quick thinking, there would have been more than one casualty." You'd think that would be the sort of thing you'd remember but it's like the whole thing got wiped from my brain.

It's the last time I take D on a fucking vacation though. He claims he also doesn't remember a thing and he's pretty damn convincing. Didn't even know how he got this nasty bump on his head from it and tried to insinuate that I put it there when he's the one that's always throwing shit at me. I'm not sure I buy it though. Whole thing's fishy if you ask me.

I'll give the first person to bring me a case of Red Bull $500.

Not a fan of sleep right now.

So a dead body in Ohio was thought to be a Halloween decoration.

I can't tell if I'm more disturbed by the fact people just assumed it was a Halloween decoration or prank, or the fact that I know this isn't the first time dead bodies have been mistaken for Halloween decorations.

OH MY GOSH!!!!!! ~*~*~*~

I just found out (Via Tumblr) that the Edinburgh Zoo has a penguin parade daily! They allow penguins that want to leave their enclosure to go out and walk around the zoo. That is the most adorable thing I have ever seen!

Oh and in other news, I finally figured out my Halloween costume. I'm going to do a Pop Art costume and I'm drawing up ideas right now. So excited!

Bored. Me and Tippy are gonna go up in the Squirrel-A-Gig and find a fancy house that doesn't have anyone around it and borrow their pool. Anyone else wanna come with?

So, dreams... Good news. I survived the incident at the gas station with the vampires. Bad news. I came home to find that my ex-girlfriend had stolen all of my money and ran for the hills. Not only that, a friend of mine had turned into one of them and very nearly killed me. I think I might have met a friend, though. The man who saved my life.