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Santa Maria degli Angeli, what a day.

I feel as though I must say this in a public place, for the benefit of those who consult psychiatrists or psychologists in this country.

If you make an active threat against yourself or someone whom I might reasonably believe you could injure, it is not only allowed, but mandated, that I inform law enforcement. That is the law of this state. Please realize this. I cannot keep your privacy when you make threats. I know the dreams may drive one to desperate lengths, but the matter is out of my hands.

Private to Alex Roivas: May I come see you tomorrow? Tonight I think I wish to curl into bed and be alone.

Well, according to my doctor, I'm at week thirteen. I can't believe I've already been pregnant for three bloody months. My app still says I'm in the first trimester, though. I thought that I'd be in the second at twelve weeks. I don't know. Just glad all seems like it's going according to plan, and that Atton's not hovering too badly. I'm still going to work until it's not safe to. I'm just glad I'm not throwing up anymore!

The first thing you learn is how to be alone. You have to learn it quickly, because you are your only company most of the time. You embrace that lesson easily, so well that you convince yourself you wanted it that way. Disappear into your own head with your own thoughts, until you are alone, even in a crowd. And you don't mind. You don't know how to stop feeling alone anymore. The struggle only comes when you want to embrace the crowd of friends around you.

The second thing you learn is how to wait. When your mind is active but your body has nowhere to go, this is very difficult. You count things. The tiles on the walls around you, above and below you. The footsteps you hear walking past your door in either direction. The number of unique heartbeats you can pick up. You catalogue the smells your enhanced nose can find, even though you already know them all. Go through, again, every piece of knowledge anyone's ever given you. Your mind is the thing that's captive in this place, but you know of nowhere else to let it wander to. When you realise that there may come a time when you will see something new, something that will set your mind free, you know that you have something to wait for. Then you understand. You can only make yourself wait when there's something worth waiting for.

The third thing you learn is how to kill. I don't think I want to know what the fourth lesson is.

So until someone confirms for me that a pregnancy from your dreams won't happen in real life I'm just gonna keep taking a test every four or five hours and ban anything that produces sperm from coming within a hundred feet of me.

I might be paranoid. I'm probably overreacting. But sixteen and pregnant is terrifying, as is being twenty and pregnant. Okay maybe just being pregnant when you're not ready is terrifying.

Robin isn't the father. Don't ask.

Oh yeah, and DAMIAN WAYNE THIS IS EXACTLY THE SORT OF THING I WANTED TO BE WARNED ABOUT!

We are completely unpacked now. That only took a little longer than expected because Caspian was doing some of it on his own while I was sick and then as a result, I rearranged some things when I was feeling better. Aslan seems to have settled in well, which I'm glad about. I was worried that the move would cause him some distress or something. I've also submitted my resume to a local veterinary clinic, not that my resume is extremely impressive at this time, but I do have some prior experience.

Made our first actual home cooked meal tonight after a few weeks of take away or mac and cheese. I decided to make cheesy chicken enchiladas and I'm fairly certain Caspian enjoyed them, because he ate about four.

[Filtered Away from Caspian]
Because we're both very new to the area, I was wondering if anyone could give me any recommendations as to where we could go for Valentine's Day. I've tried google, but being new to the area makes even that a little difficult.