Network

Shout out to my gorgeous bestie who had her birthday yesterday. I surprised her with a handbag cake before her party and had to share the pic as she just looks so cute!

Okay, OKAY, lesson FUCKING LEARNED, do not do any of the handwaving magic bullshit from your dreams, especially if it might set shit on fire.

Previews are done, the reviews are in and The Pirate Queen officially opens tomorrow for the next three weeks! Time certainly flies when you're in production and performance mode.

When it's 3am and you can't sleep, you discover a whole new world on the telly. Ancient reruns, awful movies, softcore tits an' arse. I particularly like the commercials. The market at this hour seems to be old people and insomniacs.

But really, who could turn down the Golden Girls?

I just had someone lecture me about being open on Easter, and not doing the 'Lord's work'.

I run a place called 'Purgatory'. Didn't he see the connection here?

Some sects of our Magic Guild are looking a little sparse, since people have come and gone over the weeks and months. I thought I would put out another open call for recruitment. Potions are not my specialty, but I have been practicing more and more - however, we could use the help there and in most other areas.

Please let me know if you are interested. I'm Zatanna, by the way, in case we have not been formerly introduced.

I saw a sign at a church today that "spread love as thick as you would Nutella" and I think that's beautiful.

So, I got a necklace from my Dreams the other day and I've kind of just been trying to figure out what to do with it. I'm going to keep it because it's lovely and my mother gave it to me before she died in the Dreams, but I'm not sure if it works here or not.

Essentially the stone on the necklace is supposed to dampen my necromancer glow and make me less appealing to ghosts, which is great - in theory.

The downside is I'm not sure how to go about testing this without running the risk of summoning a ton of ghosts or zombies....again....

Okay. So...because I haven't been gushing about it...

( cut for picture, not filtered )

I CANNOT! Stefan is keeping her because the Professor gets all serious face about pets, BUT LOOK AT HERRRRRR! I'm crying!!!!!!! WHY IS SHE SO CUTE? I WILL NEVER RECOVER!

I am going to be very relieved once tomorrow has come and gone from a business stand point. I get tired of explaining why I do not make natural remedies for impotence. Tis at the point where I can barely maintain a polite facade about it. I am not a miracle worker, even as a mage. Besides, nature is attempting to tell these people something and they are not listening. The urge to set some of them on fire is a strong one.

65 years ago today, Princess Elizabeth spent the night in a beautiful Treetops Hotel in Kenya. In the morning she left a Queen. It's Queen Elizabeth II's Sapphire Jubilee. The first in history to celebrate the milestone. A bright spot in an otherwise dark and depressing year. Long live the Queen.

So, uhm, are creatures coming over from the Dreams like a thing? Because this little guy ambushed me in the backyard this morning.

( Picture under cut for size; veiwable by all )

It's a lothcat, wild animals from the planet I kind of live on in my Dreams.

I don't remember the last three days.

I'm going to blame the Tequila.

It's 3am, I've a cup of hot cocoa and my fiance is asleep with her head in my lap.

I just thought I'd share that because she'll be mortified when she wakes up.

These dreams continue to be inconvenient in every possible way. The dreams themselves aside, I've recently found myself in possession of a new one ton animal that I now must feed and house.

Honestly, I don't know the first thing about horses, and if I'm going to ride anything, it's going to be my hog. Though I suppose it is a little nice to see Cinnamon alive and well.

I need to get a suit for my parents' anniversary party this month. I hate suits. I always feel so uncomfortable in a suit. I'd honestly rather be wearing my Warden armor than a suit, but I don't think my dad will appreciate that.

I've had the same song stuck in my head for two days and I don't even know when the last time was that I heard Tubthumping.

Also, Dreams have ended. Saved a planet from being blown up...or pulled out of orbit...or whatever physics happens when you blow up a planet's moon. Killed a count of the Empire, tricked a captain of a Star Destroyer into doing it, revealed that I'm a Jedi to a girl and got to go with said girl. All in all, not a bad way to end, all things considered.

Still though...Tubthumping?

Welp, my first week of teaching didn't go up in flames or end in half my class quitting so I'm gonna call that a success.

The hangover that I'm still feeling today, from Saturday night's indulgences, means that I've come to the realization I need to share some of the wealth from Skyhold's wine cellar. There's enough of a supply to share, anyway. These bottles are all from Thedas - there's honey mead, sipping whiskey, wine from Tevinter that you have to drink with a catsbane powder to counteract the poisoning, black currant brandy, Orlesian liqueur, something made in a bathtub, and a bunch of other stuff but also most notably Dragon's Piss. No one knows what it is. It might be literal.

I've gotten estimates to bring electricity to the fortress, though in the mountains it's tricky - one strong breeze can send the wires down for a few hours. I think the main rooms will have electricity, but most guest rooms will just be candles and wood fires. Hot water for all facilities will definitely be a go though. I guess we can call it 'eco tourism.' There's a throwback to another era, in Morocco, that I've been researching for inspiration. I might take a trip there to stay at the place, just for research purposes and to know that running a hideway without a lot of electricity is possible.

Anyway, this has been your booze-soaked post for Monday morning, enjoy.

Will I ever understand the appeal of American football? There's attractive men, yes, but other than that, I don't know why people enjoy it?

It's good to be home again.

Maybe it's just me but it's hard to get rest in a hospital. Now to just sleep for the next two days.

I'm not entirely sure what to say here. I've never really done anything like writing online before, but I was told to give it a try. That this is the way people communicate now. Not sure how I feel about it, but if this is the thing then I'll try it. At least it's easier than hand writing. My name's Iolaus and this semester I'll be teaching a class at UCI on Greek Mythology.

Morrigan and I have been on holiday in China, someone please tell me that the world hasn't ended over there?

Finding space for your zombie horse with a sword through its head (technically this makes him a bog 'unicorn') is a lot more difficult than one might anticipate.

But if anyone has heard of a place for dream pets? Mounts? Creatures? let me know. He's pretty self-sufficient and easy to take care of. Doesn't even eat much besides the occasional rotten apple I tend to find stashed in the kitchen by a certain someone who has a certain hidden squishy spot for the zombie horse.

( private message to lina )

Thank you to those who pitched in to help keep others safe and deal with what came out of those rifts. They're all closed now, and so is the Breach - which was the main tear in what I assume is our Veil here, and so with that patched up then no more nasty things should be coming through.

So I believe we're out one Wal-Mart and I'm out one arm, and it took me forever to even type this up, but if anyone needs help with clean-up or anything else just let me know and I'll come by.

Yes, lets drop everything and follow a woman who may or may not hate me through a mirror.

Arcane Advisor certainly has a ring to it, even if I am far less than comfortable being in the Orlesian Court. Tis not the safest place to be, considering all the court intrigue, civil war, and the fact that an ancient magister has ripped a hole in the sky which threatens the safety of the entire world. Regardless of anything else, the insane magister must be stopped. I anticipate the Inquisition's influence shall be felt within the halls of the Winter Palace itself. And for the sake of the world and the state Orlais is in, I do hope it shall come sooner rather than later. I am going to ignore the fact I have a son in the dreams

I can take killing an Archdemon off of my bucket list. Nasty huge bugger.

I feel like I owe certain parties a great debt. For the whole surviving thing.

But the day is saved, the Blight is stopped, and it was a rather nice party. Even if my mind was elsewhere at the time

Someone in one of my classes said that this was a good place to try and get to meet some new people. Here goes, I guess.

My name is Piper McLean, and I'm a college freshman at USC. Hi, I guess.

Is there really no way of stopping these dreams? I don’t wish to see more.

It has come to my attention that there is a doll wandering around the county, perhaps going to places I would go and visiting people I would visit. If anyone should happen to see this doll, please do not harm it. I think it may be possessed with my shadow and I would like to have it back.

Apparently without my shadow, I have a nasty habit of bursting into flame when I go out in the sun. I realize that may not make much sense, but it is dream related. I would also very much like to have my shadow back since I've been stuck this way for a few weeks now and I'm tired of it.

The doll also apparently does not understand or realize that she is a doll and may actually believe she is me. Seeing as that is the case you may be able to lure her with coffee and sweet cakes or a trashy romance novel.

Any help any one can provide would be most appreciated.

Thank you

Well the Deep Roads were horrid. And I just know I'm going to have regrets about destroying that anvil.

Filtered to Magic Users

Is anyone missing an enchanted doll? I saw one while I was at lunch just now at [name of deli] trying to order a sandwich.

One of the stranger things I’ve seen since I’ve been here.

The mental illness awareness organization I do a lot of work with, NAMI, is holding an event in Irvine next Saturday - outdoors, at a park, and there will be all sorts of things like a book exchange and food trucks (I think even complimentary massages?). But I'll be there in the 'community support' section, as a mental health care provider, should anyone want to drop by. I see so many people discussing their dreams and I feel as if I should make others aware of the opportunity.

On my own dream front our fortress, Skyhold, recently got assaulted by goats. Gassy goats, too. One let it rip before the other slammed into the wall and I don't even know what's going on anymore. It was almost as baffling as one of my advisers running out of the room naked after losing a game of Wicked Grace (I won't name names).

For anyone wondering about the actual goat thrower, he was made an agent of the Inquisition and dispatched to Tevinter to throw goats there instead.

Damn, and here I was hoping I'd get the werewolves to join us. At least I was able to get them and the Dalish to have peace with each other.

We're onto Ozrammar next. We should have quite the army to fight the blight if I can convince the dwarves to honor the old treaties.

I just wonder what they'll want me to do, every bloody time I show up someone is like 'I'll help you but you have to help me too'.

Well. I nearly set my house ablaze today. Having lightning unexpectedly come from one's fingertips tends to have an averse affect on flammable materials.

Hello!

No, that’s too formal.

Hi, guys!

Wow, that’s rude. Not everyone is a guy.

Hey, peeps!

Does anyone say peeps anymore? Okay, Urban Dictionary is telling me they don’t.

I’m Merrill! Good start. This is so exciting. Has anyone else felt like they didn’t fit in before they started having their dreams? I know we couldn’t have known, not really, but this explains so much. I’m not even human! Well, I mean, I am I think?, but I’m not in my dreams. There were so many of us—elves, that is. It was an important gathering of some kind, and it was all very exciting. I set something on fire, too! With my hands! Does anyone keep a diary to record everything they remember? I should really find those scented highlighters.

Oh! We share something about ourselves here, right? I’m a Cryptozoologist. You should visit me at my office! It’s cramped, really, and a mess right now, but I like visitors. If you let me know you’re coming, I could bake something, too. One of my roommates is a chemist, and our kitchen is probably contaminated. You know what! I’ll just buy cookies for us. Would that be all right? Does anyone have any food allergies? This is too long. You’re rambling now, Merrill.

I’ll just be on Tumblr if you need me.

Ah, the mighty and glorious Circle of Magi of Ferelden, housed in a tower shaped like a phallus. It was every bit as insufferable as I could imagine. Though the demon's taste in decoration was more than revolting. And glad to see we gained a preachy school marm in the group. I will simply stay in my tent far away from her.

Though at least I received another gift from my dreams. T'would seem I now have seeds from several plants native to Thedas.


[Killian]

You will be pleased to hear I have that poison ready. Needless to say, it is extremely potent. The antidote, however, is proving more difficult to create, but I shall not be outdone.

I have a turtle. He does not pair well with an apiary, but he will prove most useful, inexplicable by logical conventions though he is... My first dream, my first 'gift' to be bestowed.

Nonetheless, I require a meeting. It is overdue. In the meanwhile: how many of you have received fauna (or flora) from your dreams?

I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to react to receiving...gifts from my dreams? Or the fact in some alternate place I'm practically brainwashed by religion.

It's not real. It shouldn't be real. And yet, I have this tool and I'm meant to use it to protect people from magic? Because "magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him."

As annoying as parts of these dreams may be, at least they left most welcome gifts for me this time. I suppose it makes up for some of the insanity I am surrounded by in these dreams.

So we found a Golem. She hates pigeons. Like really, really hates pigeons. So we took her along with us to get these Sacred Ashes that were supposed to cure this bloke we needed. He has an army. We need that army to defeat the Blight. Scratch his back he scratches ours, that sort of thing. Something tells me when we seek help from the Dwarves and Elves we're going to have to fetch strange things for them too.

So we brought the ashes back to Redcliffe only to discover this poor boy was possessed by a demon.

Bright point, we killed a dragon! Really big one, too.

Are there any tattoo artists here or does anyone know one? I've been thinking for awhile about getting a tattoo; either the Grey Wardens symbol or mt family's crest. I'm leaning more towards the Wardens though.

While I do not enjoy the fact these strange monkeys are running around harming people, I must admit that at the least it gives me an opportunity to utilize all the skills and technology the dreams have given me. My teleporter gauntlets are particularly perplexing for them.

Has anyone else seen these things about the county?

My dreams just keep getting better. There was this big battle against an army of Darkspawn. Really nasty creatures that want to kill us all and blight the land. And we lost. But we got rescued by a witch who made her daughter Morrigan go with us when we left to...save the world somehow, I'm sure. Our first stop was this little village named Lothering where we met a rather lovely red-head and freed a Qunari from a cage.

Those poor people though. They were right in the way of the Darkspawn army and they don't really stand a chance.

We set out for a place called Redcliff to try to drum up our own army when I woke up.

To find a gigantic Mabari war hound sleeping at the foot of my bed, and my staff leaning against the wall.

Do these things just happen and Alistair why didn't you warn me!

It's rather exciting mind you.

I think I'll call him Barkspawn.

Does anyone have a completely happy ending, when their dreams come to an end?

It's not as if mine were psychologically scarring by any means. Both sets have ended bittersweetly, where evil (as cliche as it sounds) gets put down, but some things that have been broken along the way don't ever go back to being the same. My first one I caused an irreversible timesplit to save my kingdom and possibly ruined Link's life in one of them. Altering times does not come without its consequences even if it was for the 'bigger picture.'

This second one a link to a sister-realm was shattered. Quite literally, as the link was a mirror that brought you to the land of perpetual twilight. Both worlds have a chance to rebuild after Ganon and his whipped minion wreaked havoc on them. Maybe it won't be the last time I get to see my shadowy blue half there, but at least I have her here.

Doritos crumbs all over my bed as proof of her presence, anyway.

Though I suppose 100% happy sunshine endings aren't completely realistic, are they?

Is this a sign of an impending apocalypse? Is it going to start raining frogs next?

Blood rain. Rain made of blood. Not exactly the best thing for a vampire. At least I'm not a newbie. Still not good though.

I realized that I haven't posted about my dreams lately, but I definitely had some more. So, after arriving in the kingdom Flynn and I had this super romantic evening on a boat in the water watching the lanterns float into the sky. I may be obsessed with painting this right now because it was such an amazing sight and I don't have warm fuzzy feelings towards a dude in my dreams. nope. Unfortunately that was as good as it got for the moment because I gave him his crown and satchel back, but then we spotted the two goons he had stolen it with. He went to go give it back to him and then disappeared. He took the crown and ran!

My mother saved me and I went back to the tower. While there I finally manage to put together that I am the lost princess! Yeah, that's right, I am a PRINCESS. That revelation leads up to a giant fight between my mother and I. The last thing I dreamt about was my mother hitting me and chaining me up to hold me hostage and hearing Flynn call for me from outside the tower.

What. The. Hell.

Did anyone watch the puppy bowl? Eeeee! That was my favorite part of the night!