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I do wish Miss Skeeter had chosen a better photograph of my chest, but that's neither here nor there. No, it was not an orgy, and no, you cannot have the better photos.

I don't - he can't be dead and I'm so sorry Oliver and everything is so wrong right now. He can't be dead. He can't. He was so kind and

Has anyone ever approached some of the people they've had these strange dreams about? How did they take it? I've been debating approaching someone with my dreams about them - rather boring, before the jokes start - but I don't want them to think I'm entirely mad.

No, I don't want to hear about all the great things in your life that you're thankful for. Go away.

Okay, I can go without talking about elections for another year.

Okay, so usually when we get...whimsical...patients, we can all agree they're insane. Usually. Tonight though? I picked up Dr. House because he'd OD'd on Vicodin. Throughout the ride, he proceeds to lecture my partner and I on how stupid we are, and everything we're doing wrong, while the wife, who'd gone along in the ambulance, tried to keep on clarifying that this was a costume. Not that the the dude believed her. Considering my partner was convinced, at the time, that he was Elmo and that I should tickle him when we weren't busy...

Fuck, I'm sorta scared to put on MY costume tomorrow night.

I have adopted a dog. I'm quite excited about it and do plan on bringing him to work with me periodically. One of the perks of owning my own business, I suppose.

Has anyone gotten an animal recently? I was wondering if anyone knows of a good obedience course I can take with him.

Ugh!! Seriously! What does it take to get a date around here? You'd think now that I'm famous it would get a little easier, but all it does it bring the creeps out of the woodwork.

You're not right. In the head. You have issues. All of you have issues.

You should work on that.

Never before have I been so utterly glad to be boring. I've been mentioned in periodicals before for my work, but that's all. My name remains blessedly unknown.

Celebrities, you have my sympathy and my respect for the asinine meddling you deal with upon a daily basis.

There are many positive reasons to be in a small business for ones' self, but one of the negatives is a lack of affordable health insurance. My employees tried to get me to go to the hospital for stitches, but fortunately I'm a seamstress. Stitches are my specialty, and skin is sort of like leather, in a way.

Medical professionals - how many ibuprofen would you recommend for this? I only needed six stitches by my own count.

I woke up naked in a box...

What was I doing in a box?!

Waking up fifteen minutes before your alarm is set to go off SUCKS.

No fistfights yet. :-(

I got my first paycheck! Oh, look, my first paycheck is already spent. Boo.

It's become a recurring practical joke on the set to replace our chainmail and costumes with pleather and gimp masks. It's no longer amusing.

When I find out which member of the crew is doing this, I will show them exactly how accurate I am with an arrow.

I just landed a job at Bloomingdale's! It's not exactly what I wanted, but at least I'll be able to save up some money for my own place closer to everyone. Fighting for women's rights will just have to wait a bit.