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If I ever suggest using probability magic someone please slap some sense into me because clearly I’ll have lost my mind after seeing how effective it is in my Dreams. I never want to dream my death ever again. Especially not over and over showing what’s going to happen if we follow this path over that one. But we don’t find a way that didn’t lead to us all dying - going to Fillory and killing the Beast. But in order to do it we have to learn battle magic and since it’s not taught at Brakebills and there are no books on it in the library, we resort to the spells that the hedge witches use. Which is even more dangerous than regular battle magic would be. What could possibly go wrong with that?

In order to master it we have to get rid of our emotions because they could distract us and we put them in these bottles to store until after we’re done, which drinking them is quite possibly the best high I’ve ever had here or there and it led to me sleeping with Margo and Quentin Q another one of our friends whose girlfriend was not at all happy the next morning at finding the three of us in bed together.

When I woke up the bottle I used was on the bed between me and Felix. I'm pretty sure I want to hold onto this particular gift even less than I did the books.

Can someone please explain to me what it is about me that just radiates to complete strangers the desire to hear their unsolicited medical advice? I needed to get out of James' place for a bit, and thought grabbing lunch at my favorite bookstore and cafe would be a nice change of pace since I was hungry. Anyway, after I finished eating I decided to order another coffee and read for a bit since it was nice outside, and the next thing I know some asshole plops down in the chair opposite mine and proceeds to lecture me about how reading is bad for you and destroys the mind. And that there are studies proving this is true. I’ve never seen him before in my life and I’m doing my best to to just try and ignore him, thinking he’s just a harmless old man who thinks he knows everything. Nothing to worry about. Nothing out of the ordinary, happens everyday.

Or at least that’s what I was trying to convince myself of until he reached across the table to take my book and starts talking about how he hates seeing a pretty girl like me destroying her brain by reading things she clearly couldn’t even understand because ‘the female mind can’t grasp scientific topics properly in the first place’ and if I’m so set on ruining mine, because I’d tried to keep reading through his tirade after getting my book back, I should pick something I could actually understand. Like a romance novel.

Nothing against romance novels. They’re fun. I have some next to my bed to read when I can’t sleep. But don’t insult my intelligence by implying that they’re the only kind of books I’m capable of understanding because I’m a woman. And as for not being able to understand Science? I think my calm statement of fact regarding my graduating with honors with a Biology degree stunned him. Well either that or the way I explained not only the book I’d been reading but then was able to cite studies that prove reading actually helps brain strength because it helps to prevent atrophy by keeping the brain active.

I really really thought I was done dreaming about being a ghost when that last one hit and I woke up changed into a vampire. But luck was definitely not on my side about that I guess since I woke up from one where Claire's parents show up and right away start accusing me of taking her money and taking advantage of the fact that she's never lived on her own before and doesn't know what's a fair rate for a room in the house but they shut up pretty quickly when I pulled the money out of the box on the mantle where I'd stashed it and showed them that it was the full amount and then explained what had been going on at the dorm. She was being hazed and was in danger living there so moving in with us was for her safety. They seemed pretty cool with that and with her staying with us. Or at least they were until her dad found my and Shane's beer in the fridge and tells her that she has two days to pack and then she's leaving with them.

None of us can afford for things to get messy - least of all me - so she has to go. But you know? That might be the best thing for her. If they take her out of Morganville she'll be safe from the vampires. She's be safe from Brendan and Monica and all her little lackies.