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I've just spent the last three hours trying to explain to a seventy six year old woman how to attach an HDMI cable. If you had asked me before tonight if that were even possible, I would have laughed in your face. Now I'll just stare at you with eyes full of hateful wisdom.

Is anyone out there hiring? I'm getting bloody desperate. I will do literally anything that isn't illegal if it means I never have to answer another question about how to perform a manual reboot on a Bluray player. Spoiler alert; you press the power switch once. Then you press it again. Viola!

All this crime is getting ridiculous. I should have stayed on the East Coast.

[Lina]
How's your head?

I know there are some college students on here, so, as a professor, allow me to offer you this bit of advice.

You are not doing yourself any favors when you email your professor on the first day of class and say that you're vacationing with your family and won't be back for another two weeks, so you'll need accommodation.

It is, of course, your prerogative and your family's prerogative to vacation while classes are in session, but I am under no directive to accommodate what is your choice. It is also your choice to stay in the course, knowing that you will be penalized for choosing not to be in class, or to drop it and retake the course at another time when you can actually devote the time required.

People of the interweb, I am looking for a place to stay. Hotels are just too damn expensive but apartment hunting is a bitch. Anyone else looking for a roommate? I'm clean, and don't come with anything but a few suitcases so I wouldn't take much room. Just need something reasonably priced.

Also I have a questionnaire filled out about basic roommate qualities if you'd like a copy for reference.

And for good measure since all the crime stuff is wonky, I am not a criminal. So no worries there.

Right then, with all the chaos I finally got a moment to myself here and uh. Is anyone missing a purple cloaked goth girl? I've found her. In my apartment. Not that I don't appreciate the welcome wagon but kiiiiinda awkward timing considering I was only in a towel and she's like 16.

I can't even believe this shit right now. I've been working from home for days now and I feel like I should be quarantined and I still don't get any sleep. Like, what the hell did I ever do to anyone in those things to deserve getting forced out of my own damn company? Not to mention being snubbed by someone you thought you could trust.

I feel like my head is going to implode.

I'm going to cry the next time somebody orders a well-done steak.

In other news, though, why is every store sold out of the ridiculously specific toys my sister wants??? Help.

I'm just gonna leave this here.

You're welcome.