( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

So. As I lost my memories for the past couple of weeks, I haven't had time to make a very important announcement. Nate and I are now the proud parents of twin terrors, William Garland and Ashley Jeanne Harvelle-Wuornos. They have got to be the most damned adorable babies I've ever seen. And they've both got quite the set of lungs on them. I love my family so much. I couldn't be happier.

You know when you have one of those weird fucking days where you meet your long-lost-forgotten twin brother. Then you find out you can do parkour in your sleep, but that's not right before you find a fucking murder victim on the side of the goddamn road and then watch the fucker explode when the sun hits the guy.

[ There's a pause. ]

Yeah. Um...So nice weather we're having, right? Or any even more serious question. Anyone else feel like they're missing someone a lot? Something along the lines of 'she needs to be safe' and 'I need to find her'. But don't know who the Hell you're supposed to be looking for or where to start looking for that matter.

Two things I've figured out so far.

One - I'm a cop. Since I woke up in a police station, and I have a gun and a badge.

Two - I think I'm having an affair. Yeah, normally, that's not something you'd make public, but I'm pretty sure I'm having an affair with the guy I woke up with since we were kinda all over each other because he has a wedding ring. And I don't. Again, normally not something you'd make public, but it's not like we know who he's married too, or anything. Or if his wife is even actually alive, or anything.

But if I am having an affair, I guess this makes me the town tramp or whatever.

[Jo's voice is strained, and her breathing sounds labored.]

Um...Nathan, honey? Can you come home please?

My water just broke.

[A sharp gasp.]

And hurry!

Every time I return to this city, it seems another disaster has recently occurred and the city is in worse standing than it was the last time I was brought here. I'm starting to wonder if Asaph just wants me here to help with the clean up and restoration.

Well, that's over now. No offense to Elijah, as he was the perfect gentleman the entire time during our lovely forced union, but it's great to be back with my actual husband.

Also? It's March first. In just a couple short weeks, Nate and I will officially be parents!

(Pained gasp.)

Uh, Nathan? I think..

(A crashing sound as she drops the glass she was holding.)

Ah! RORY!!

This would suck a lot less if I wasn't eight months pregnant. Not that being not able to sleep with my real husband didn't suck last time, but still, it didn't last forever, so there's that to look forward too. I just feel bad for Elijah, being stuck with a pregnant woman.

As much as I love it at the Roadhouse, I was starting to feel just a little cooped up in here. It's nice to be able to actually go outside again. Even if the city's kind of a mess right now.

Also, the twins are either going to be really great soccer players or Rockettes. Or they could just be practicing their karate kicks.

And that, as they say, is that. I do believe that was the last of them. The streets should be safe now, for those of you who have been barricading themselves inside. If anyone still has any injuries which need attention, I shall turn my efforts towards clearing out and cleaning up whatever damage was done to the clinic.

If anyone would care to assist.

I guess Asaph just can't get enough of me, it seems. Might almost be flattered, if something didn't always happen to turn this place on its ear not long after I show back up. Still. This beats the alternative.

Now, who all is still around? Front and center.

Not sure if this counts as the weirdest thing that happened to me. Is this where I go when Or if this is just another weird Haven thing like the mystery coma or the people in snow globes. Does anyone know how to get back? Or how I got here? Or maybe where this is? At this point, I'll take anything I can get.

Oooh! There's a new Sumerian exhibit at the museum! Score!

Sherlock, you're coming with me to check it out. This isn't open for negotiation.

[ooc: if your character thinks they might be included in claire's very general filter, they probably are]

Right, so December is a pretty busy month for us, what with all three kids having birthdays as well as Christmas. And considering it's Colligo, we pretty much know the idea of celebrating the holidays on the actual date in question is just plain dumb. It never works out.

So. Here's the plan.

( Click to see the party dates. )

We're going to be having Christmas dinner, and presents, on Christmas Eve. Just in case. If anyone wants to stop by, we can definitely set something up. Or come visit you, if you really want to brave the kids running around your place.

( Filtered to Lucifer )

And here I was, thinking this place was just a bad dream. So, who's still knocking about this place? Emma? The Harvelle super sisters? Nate? You up to date, or am I going to have to keep my mouth shut about some things?

There's a fuzzy green guy downtime dressed up as Santa trying to steal Christmas decorations from the stores, with his dog, who he's got dressed like a reindeer. I tried to arrest him, but he got away.

You know, those guards are a lot less friendly the second time around. You think they'd know better than to try manhandling a pregnant woman.

Okay. Now that that's out of the way...who's still here that remembers me?

Well, that answers that.

It's good to be back.

Anybody miss me?

Did Jo ever

Jo's gone. And not the way people can't see other people right now. She's just gone. All her stuff's gone and she's just gone. We were She was This is why I don't

I just thought people ought to know.

You have to be kidding me. It's one thing to not be able to see my dad, or Peter, or Molly. It's another entirely not to be able to see my children.

( Filtered to Loki )

While I have, on occasion, hoped something would happen at my various places of employment so that I could get a day off, but I was never actually serious. Ironically, I enjoy going to work here and I'm actually upset that someone would do this. The only time buildings should be destroyed is when Godzilla is involved or super-heroes are trying to save the city. Otherwise it's just plain rude.

Is everyone else who normally works at City Hall okay? I want a roll call, people.

I'm not sure what happened here while I was away and I'm equally unsure if I want the specifics. If someone could just tell me if I still have something to worry about, and what that something might be in that particular instance, I would appreciate it.

As Mayor Holmes has said, we are going to be enforcing Martial Law until this crisis passes. Some of you might object, but this really is the only way to ensure the general safety of the city. This is an emergency the likes of which we haven't faced before and we need to take this seriously if we have any expectation of getting through this. This is not a situation anyone should take lightly and any rules have been made solely for the safety of the populace.

From this point onward, there will be a mandatory curfew in place between the hours of 10 pm and 7 am. People will need to remain in their homes at this time unless they are part of the relief effort or have to be out for work related reasons. People found violating curfew without a valid reason will be taken into police custody for their own safety until the threat has passed.

We are also encouraging everyone to remain in their homes or in designated safe houses unless absolutely necessary even during non-curfew hours. This is not mandatory but it is strongly encouraged. We also suggest that any non-mandatory businesses close until the crisis has passed. While grocery stores, pharmacies and such are necessary in this time, recreational facilities are not. Use your own discretion, but be mindful that the safety of individuals is more important than keeping your business open.

If you need to leave your home, please contact the relief program or the police department to obtain a gas mask. If you need supplies, they can also be delivered if you get in touch with either organization. I cannot stress enough that you should remain in your homes unless absolutely necessary.

I'm formally requesting a list of individuals involved in the relief effort and anyone who wants to take part in rescue operations needs to be involved through the official operations being headed by Mrs. Winchester and Captain Rogers so that your involvement can be vouched for. Otherwise you do risk being detained.

If anyone has any questions or wishes to offer their assistance, please get in touch with myself or the heads of relief operations.

( Filtered to Canton )

( Filtered to Claire )

( Filtered to the Police Department )

Okay. Enough is enough. I know I'm not the only person in this city that this gas can't hurt and I definitely know I'm not the only one of us who is bothered by the amount of people - local and non-local alike - who are being hurt by it. So to quote a pretty amazing, tiny Antichrist the way I see it, it's time for a plan.

( Cut to spare the friends list. )

Crowley's gone. I went into his office and he's not there. And none of his stuff is there. And texting him didn't work. And now I'll never see him again unless Morgan Freeman brings him back because I'm not from his stupid reality.

And Dean is gone too. Not Claire's Dean. Mine and Cas'.

I hate this. I don't want to like people. They just leave, they always leave, and being sad sucks. :(

The museum is closed until further notice on account of it being stolen because I can't believe I'm saying this it was stolen.

( filtered to the police department )

( filtered to parker )

( filtered to the police force & the xavier mansion )

( filtered to nathan wuornos & gil grissom )

( filtered to pepper potts )

( filtered to irene adler )

Okay, enough foreplay with the local meatsuits. They're even less useful than the ones I normally deal with. So let's see if this yields better results.

Where am I, how did I get here, and who am I supposed to not kill for taking me out of Crowley's clutches bringing me here?

Why the hell am I in some crappy little apartment and how the hell did I get here? Did someone drug me or something?

</s>Though really, it beats prison.</s>

[ooc: Eighteen-year-old Emma, after she gave birth to Henry in prison and gave him up for adoption.]

Well. While certainly interesting, this definitely isn't Peru.

Would someone mind explaining to me where it is that I am and how I came to be here? I suppose I could always peruse the entire message board but anything to inform me faster than the time it would take me to do that would be greatly appreciated.

So I hate to be the little witch that cries we might have a problem but, well, we've gone through something like this in Sunnydale before. The whole bursting into song thing, I mean. And, okay. So Xander isn't here, so it's probably not the exact same thing but I figure I might as well ask since it's the easiest way to make absolutely sure.

Nobody has spontaneously combusted while singing and dancing, have they? Obviously not you, as in you you, because then you would be dead and not able to respond - unless you could, in which case good for you! But I'm more talking about people in the city. The locals and stuff. No one in flames while singing about deep, dark secrets or anything. Right?

Okay. I meant to say something a couple of days ago, on Wednesday when Nate and I got married again, but what can I say? Honeymoon activities can be distracting.

Anyway. I'd like to thank everyone who was there and made the day even better than it already was.

Also...to whoever made it so that Nate could feel me when we kissed? Thank you. It really means a lot to the both of us.

( Nate's answers )

Days like this, I really hate my job.

( Dean, Noah, Lyle )

( Jo, Ellen, Sam )

( Mac, Emma, Sherlock, Roy )

( Duke )

Assuming Colligo has a guard or Police Dept., any chance at an interview? I've experience myself on the beat, proper training at Hendon, and know a fair bit of magic which should be pretty helpful in a place like this. Of course, with bloody Jedi running around with their bloody Force who needs an organized authority? Leslie'd get a kick out of this all.

My wife told me I needed to do this, and I have five minutes, so why not.

( Nate's Answers )

Somebody want to tell me what in the hell is going on?

Dear Morgan Freeman,

Okay, you're almost forgiven.

Considering putting hearts again,
Parker

P.S. I need more forks. Lots of forks. And various other pointy objects that no judge in his right mind would actually consider a weapon. If you want to be completely forgiven, how about helping a girl out, huh?

P.P.S. Damon? YOU ROCK! ♥ (See what I did there, Morgan Freeman? That could be a message for you if you play your cards right! Seriously. FORKS!)

Dear Morgan Freeman,

YOU. SUCK.

No love,
Parker

P.S. Damon, I need you to eat someone for me. Grab your enforced significant other and get over here. STAT.

That was...different.

[Filtered to Ellen Harvelle]
Sorry for freaking out on you. I love you, Mom.

Also...thanks for not killing my husband.

[Filtered to Dayrl Dixon]
The whole sibling thing was weird. Wanna get a beer after work? My treat.

[Filtered to Nathan Wuornos]
So...we got married.

I kinda...want to keep it that way. If that's okay with you.

That whole thing was crazy, but I don't regret getting married. Especially since it was to you.

Never did like staying in one place for very long.

Besides, it wasn't good for Henry if I stayed in Storybrooke. I'd only hurt him.

So. This a nice place to make a living?

I should have said something earlier, but I was so wrapped up in my new husband these past few days, that it just slipped my mind.

That's right, I said husband. Nathan and I got married a few days ago. I'm now Joanna Beth Harvelle-Wuornos.

I think it has a very nice ring to it, personally.

[as the soap!plot has officially begun]

Looks like the holiday's will here before we know it.

( Filtered to Daryl Dixon )

( Filtered to Jo Harvelle )

After dying, that was probably the worst thing I ever went through. Actually, no scratch that. Dying at least, no one was wearing me like a prom dress and controlling my every move and making me do all those awful things to people I care about. I'll take death again over being possessed, thank you very much.

( Nate )

( Mom )

The Roadhouse is closed to the public until further notice. If you work here, feel free to swing by. We still have things that can be done and I'll make sure you get a paycheck for the work. Or you can consider this a vacation of sorts. Your call.

On a more personal note, the next one of you who asks me how I'm doing, I'm just as liable to shoot you as answer. Consider this your warning.

What. The. Actual. Fuck?!? </s>I picked one hell of a time to have a god-damned flashback.</s>

[ooc: follows after this]

[The following conversation/situation is muffled as Ellen's PDA turned on when she put it in her pocket after arriving at Nate's apartment.]

Duke, you wait here. Anything moves in this hallway, you shoot first and forget the damn questions. Damon, you're with me. Stay close and alert. Kate, cover the perimeter. Living room and hallway. Something happens, you get Duke and get the hell out of here. Now everybody stand back.

[There is the sound of a door opening & a few seconds of silence.] Right then. Damon, let's- [Ellen's words are cut off by a low, ominous growling. She sucks in a sharp breath of air.]

Sonofabi- [She grunts as she hits the ground, the PDA sliding out of her pocket and across the floor. Ellen's cry of pain is followed by a shotgun blast. Hello hellhound that demon!Jo left for the group! >.>]

( Nate's voice is weak and a little slurred. )

El? You there?

I...Jo is...she's...

( a pause )

I think I could use some help.

( OOC: This is an actually accidental post, not a product of the Glitch Plot. Nate was trying to call Ellen and didn't hit the right buttons. Set shortly after this, once Nate managed to regain consciousness. )

( Filtered to Ellen )

Worst way to find out you, apparently, have the ability to turn every ball you touch into a SuperBall: go bowling.

So. Anyone happen to know where I can get a job since I now have about a thousand dollars worth of damage to pay off on this place?