( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

( Danny's answers )

[ public ]

I was told that my last...post was somewhat long-winded.

Everyone who is looking for a place to sleep is more than welcomed at the Crisis Center. It has been established as a base of operations and a roof over your heads. It includes several amenities and meals. For anyone looking to volunteer, you can also approach me here. More help is greatly appreciated as well as desired.


[ filter: natalia (illyana rasputina) ]

Ya neobkhodimostʹ pomoshchʹ, Natalia. Ya...ona skazal ona istselennyy. Ona chertov skazal mne ona istselennyy. Ona ne imeyet prikhoditʹ nazad yeshche. Ya ne znatʹ chto k delatʹ. Ya ne...

[ There's a slight pause and he attempts not to scream. ]

Pozhaluysta, Natalia, pomoshchʹ mne.

You do all realise we are hardly the only individuals within this city and, out of the entire populace, there are those among us who do seem to know their own identities, yes?

I'm speaking of the ones who don't seem to have these devices of their own, of course. They're not terribly cooperative, I'm afraid, but it does beg the question of why we, specifically, are suffering from such memory loss when they do not seem to be doing so as well. Don't you think?

Oh my God, oh my God what's happened I don't even know I think I'm going to be sick I don't understand people were explaining all these things to me and I'm I can't.

I can't.

This has been just absolutely impossible all of it. I might be sick. I'm going to be sick, I think. I---I just want to go home. Is this--can anyone read this? Hello? HELLO?

Oh God, please someone -- can anyone just-just help me understand what's going on?

Of all places, why return me here? There is nothing of interest in this particular year nor any happenings, save for the very end of it, to peek my curiosities. Why do you insist upon boring me, Asaph?

I suppose, at the very least, I can hold this over my brother's head. Hello, Mycroft. For once, I'm the eldest.

Irene, dear, will I have to find another place to stay for the time being, or will you be able to adjust to this?

Hey I seem to be locked out of my room, In a towel. Can anyone either A) Pick a lock, Or B) I'm not really sure where to go from there. I would be every so grateful.

Thank God that honesty bullshit is over. Compulsive honesty may be even worse than an evil demon making us sing our feelings. And I was getting tired of pretending not to be here.

That said, I'm proposing a blanket ban on discussing any information I may have revealed under the influence of truth serum. Especially if that information is particularly earth-shattering. Maybe if we pretend it never happend long enough, we'll start to believe it ourselves. Could happen, right?

What'd I miss? Feel free to lie, because you can do that now.

I was going to ignore this entirely. My PDA, however, clearly had other ideas.

( My answers. )

( filtered to the police force & the xavier mansion )

( filtered to nathan wuornos & gil grissom )

( filtered to pepper potts )

( filtered to irene adler )

I do hope nobody missed me too badly. But going through the messages that my elder self put up on the network during my absence, it does seem as though I owe several of you rather substantial apologies.

Or at least, a demonstration that I'm not nearly as humourless as I apparently will be in my twilight years.

It's as if I never truly left.

Ladies, I trust Asaph is treating the majority of you horribly and should any of you need my services please don't hesitate to ask.


( Joe's answers )

( Oh, why not. )

( There’s the sound of a scuffle before anyone speaks. When Charles does speak, he sounds a little winded. )

You know, Irene darling, this would be quite a bit easier if I had both hands free.

[Irene sounds amused when she replies. Each word she speaks is punctuated by the sound of something whip-like striking flesh, and masculine sounding grunts of pain.]

Then I suggest you free yourself, Charles. I’m a bit busy at the moment and we both know you’re perfectly capable.

[A man gives a hiss of pain then there’s a thump as a body falls to the floor. Irene makes a clucking sound with her tongue.]

And I’m afraid I’m all out of sedatives. Such a terrible waste on this lot, too...

( There’s a pause and the sound of a struggle before Charles replies. He sounds ever so slightly annoyed. )

Well, yes, my dear, I’m perfectly capable but I’m ( a pause and the sound of a punch and a groan of pain ) I’m afraid I am a bit preoccupied at the moment. Makes things a bit more ( more scuffling ) difficult.

( a crash and glass breaking )

Happy? And I will have that repaired. I promise. ( a pause ) He’ll be fine. Just some broken bones and a concussion...and, I imagine, a desire to seek new employment.

[Irene chuckles lowly.] As though I care about the window. Or his welfare. You really need to stop giving me such credit, Charles. I do believe we’ve already discussed that terrible habit of yours, yes? [There’s the distinct sound of something leather hitting skin and a male-sounding yelp.]

Or shall we discuss it once more? I’ve certainly no objections to another [another sound whack and another yelp] chat.

[A brief pause, then Irene’s tone goes from amused to annoyed rather suddenly.] And now, they’ve destroyed my favourite portrait. I do believe that is quite enough of that. [A drawer is pulled open; a heartbeat later, there is a loud bang as a gun is fired.]

You all have to the count of three to remove yourselves from my home or, I promise you, I will begin shooting you in places you do not wish to be shot. [a gunshot rings out once more and a man screams in agony; there’s the thump of a body hitting the floor and the screaming continues; Irene sounds remarkably calm, even a touch cold]

Anyone else wish to press their luck and attempt to approach me rather than making their way toward the nearest exit?

( Charles laughs, and when he speaks he sounds fond and a tiny bit awe struck. ) The things you do with a riding crop. Positively wicked. ( Some movement then a small, almost involuntary sound of triumph ) Ah. There we go. At least now I can say with a good deal of certitude that I can fight with one hand tied behind my back. ( a loud thump as a body hits the wall ) Now that I can focus ( a pause ) And I would hardly object to another chat, once we’ve dealt with the problem at hand. I promise I will never fail to give you more credit than you think necessary.

( Charles is quiet as Irene breaks out the gun, almost too quiet. He’s still not entirely comfortable with guns. There’s a sharply hissed breath when Irene shoots one of the men. The moment passes quickly though. When the assailants don’t immediately leave, he speaks. His voice has a hard edge. )

Gentlemen, you will be leaving immediately. Your presence is terribly bothersome and we were rather busy before your intrusion. Now go. Or Miss Adler’s formidable skill with a gun will be the least of your worries. The choice is, of course, yours. ( There’s something in his voice that says it really isn’t. )

[There’s a moment of silence then the sound of footsteps shuffling toward the door, followed by it softly shutting. Irene’s tone is amused.]

Very nice. I daresay I’m even impressed. Now. [There is the sound of handcuffs clicking into place.] Where were we before we were so rudely interrupted? I’m afraid I’ve completely lost track.

( There’s a pause and the sound of someone shifting. Then Charles speaks, his voice lower with a quiet intensity. )

I suppose that would be enough to make a lady forget. ( a pause ) A moment, darling. ( a long pause ) Oh yes. ( another brief pause ) Bishop to E4.

( OOC: Just to reiterate, this took place before the changeover from action adventure to zombies. )

So I just attacked by ninjas walking to my car. Pretty tough fight there.

God that was fun.

There is a moat full of lava around the house which wasn't there last night. Front, back and sides. And when I say moat, it's more like the house (and gardens) is on one of those 100-foot tall sea stacks. And the moat itself looks to be about 20-foot wide. And Escher and I nearly fell into it this morning when we went to go for our walk.

Pros

- Saving on heating.
- Amazingly good for getting rid of the shit Arthur left behind that I don't want rubbish and the like.

Cons

- Stuck in the house.
- Stuck in the house with Cobb and Escher.
- Too hot for tea.
- Stuck in the house with Cobb and Escher who do not like each other at the best of times.
- There's a lava moat around the house.
- Lava. Moat.
- The trees at the bottom of the garden are NEVER going to be the same. Since they are more than a touch singed. Otherwise, I might have tried to come up with a way of getting out that used them. They're more than a bit charcoaly, though.

So, in summary, this is shit.

Oh, why not.

( Answers. )

( cut for spoilers, just to be safe )

At first I thought this place was going to be a major drag. Turns out I got a roomie who's smoking hot AND has to share a bed with yours truly otherwise we get vomity, which is pretty kick ass.

If only Coug were here, I could win back that 5 bucks.