The museum is closed until further notice on account of it being stolen because I can't believe I'm saying this it was stolen.
( filtered to the police department ) So, I thought you'd all like to know the museum was stolen.
Yes. You read that right. The museum was stolen. Not some things from the museum. The entire museum was stolen. The art, the displays, the gift shop, the little maps. Even the toilet paper is gone from the restrooms.
You know, I come from a place where cases involve shapeshifters and biblical plagues, and that's still less weird than here.
( filtered to parker ) Hypothetically speaking, if you had - and remember this is entirely hypothetical - hypothetically stolen an entire museum, would you - in this hypothetical situation - be planning on hypothetically returning it, or hypothetically keeping it?
Just for the sake of curiosity. This is, after all, an entirely hypothetical situation.