( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

FAIL!FILTER TO DUKE CROCKER:

Don't suppose you'd be interested in exploring Colligo with me tomorrow? Thought I'd walk around, get a lay of the land, </s>try to forget about Nathan and his new WIFE and their TWINS</s> scope out the food. That sort of thing. It's not quite Haven, but maybe we could make a day of it.

Not sure if this counts as the weirdest thing that happened to me. Is this where I go when Or if this is just another weird Haven thing like the mystery coma or the people in snow globes. Does anyone know how to get back? Or how I got here? Or maybe where this is? At this point, I'll take anything I can get.

And here I was, thinking this place was just a bad dream. So, who's still knocking about this place? Emma? The Harvelle super sisters? Nate? You up to date, or am I going to have to keep my mouth shut about some things?

Back to normal. Thank God. The last thing I ever wanted to do was relive my teenager years. But apparently, Colligo had something different in mind.

...I need a drink. Right after I start making up for lost hours at work.

Why the hell am I in some crappy little apartment and how the hell did I get here? Did someone drug me or something?

</s>Though really, it beats prison.</s>

[ooc: Eighteen-year-old Emma, after she gave birth to Henry in prison and gave him up for adoption.]

Okay. My OCD can't take it anymore. In order to preserve my own sanity, I'm going to try figuring out how to maintain my list this way.

Is there anyone in this city that hasn't been affected in some way, shape, or form?

And if you have, if you know how you've been affected and could respond, that would be helpful too.

Let go of me.[The sounds of Derek struggling against the knights]

I said let go of me.[Derek growls angrily before partially transforming and breaking free. He then runs heading for the doors before roughly pushing them open.]

What the hell where am I?

( Nate's answers )

Days like this, I really hate my job.

( Dean, Noah, Lyle )

( Jo, Ellen, Sam )

( Mac, Emma, Sherlock, Roy )

( Duke )

[Emma's trying not to sound frantic, though there's the slightest tone of urgency in her voice.]

Does anyone happen to know how to defuse a bomb?

Because that's what I walked into on my desk in the office this morning. A bomb. That, if it goes off, it's likely to take me, my office, and possibly a small chunk of the station with it. It's not very big...but it's still a bomb.

And I really don't feel like getting blown up today. So I'd appreciate it. According to the little clock on the thing, it's set to detonate in ten minutes.

[There's a beep.]

Make that nine minutes.

My mirror had no problem telling me this morning how awful my outfit looked. And now, I need a new mirror. One that's no so opinionated. Because I may or may not have hurled my shoe at mine when it wouldn't shut up this morning.

Also, there's currently a small army of raccoons cleaning the offices at the station. I had every intention of shooting them, but apparently my gun thinks that it's not very nice to shoot fluffy animals that were so nice to clean your very messy (it's an organized mess, thank you very much) office.

I think I'm going to go to Harvelle's and have about four or five beers after I get off of work, because of how freaking weird this is. Anyone want to join me?

( Jude sounds so close to giggling the entire time. )

So I came downstairs this morning and there were bunnies trying to seep the floor with their fluffy little tails. So I kinda pulled my shotgun and it told me it didn't feel comfortable murdering fluffy bunnies and, honestly, neither do I, so I put it away. Which I'm really glad for, because one of the bunnies brought me this note. And now I'm keeping that bunny because we're bros and this is the best thing ever. ( pause, giggling ) Okay, I'm just going to read this...

( In an exaggerated girly voice, with asides in her normal voice )

To my most awesome and wonderful husband (...oh gag me Jo-Beth. Really?)

Hey, sweetie (Sweetie?). I wanted to catch you before you went to work, but I had to run to the store to get something for Mom. (You could have just waited for a fricking goose to do it or something.)

So. I've been thinking. About our wedding. (You mean that thing I wasn't here for?) Why not get married on the most romantic day of the year? (Halloween?) And by that, I mean, Valentines' Day, not St. Patrick's Day, though getting married then would be awesome. (St. Patrick's day totally trumps Valentine's.)

But that also means that we'd have to put it off even further, which I really don't want to do. (I may actually throw up.) I want to be married (again) to the most wonderful man in the entire world as soon as possible. (I wonder if I can get a fox to strangle me with its tail.) I know, getting married on Valentine's Day sounds corny and cliche (it is), but it's not so cliche and corny (no, it really is), since we're doing it because we really love each other, and not because we want to put more money in the Hallmark Company's bank account. (This is seriously fucking sappy.)

I already know that no matter when we get married, it's going to be perfect. (Seriously? Fricking seriously?) Because we love each other and are already perfectly happy. (This is just ridiculous.)

But just think about it let me know, okay? (Just agree so I never have to read something like this again.)

I love you. Have a great day at work. Serve justice and all that comes with it. (Serve justice? Really?)

Love, Jo.

( Back to normal voice )

And then she drew a bunch of tacky hearts. Because she's kinda lame sometimes. And now, Jo-Beth, maybe you won't get married without me here next time...

My wife told me I needed to do this, and I have five minutes, so why not.

( Nate's Answers )

So, I totally don't remember getting quizzes last time I was here. Do I have to answer it right or they kick me out again? Anyway, I've missed this place. Or not, since I only remember being here. But since everything's all cleaned up, I'm guessing I was gone a while.

So...what did I miss?

Oh! And have some answers.

( Jude's Answers )

Forcing people to live with people they might really not want to deal with seems a little childish, if you ask me.

Alright.

I feel like someone screwed with my head. And I don't like when my head gets screwed with.

So. Where the hell am I and how the hell did I get here?

I swear, if Regina had something to do with this...

I should have said something earlier, but I was so wrapped up in my new husband these past few days, that it just slipped my mind.

That's right, I said husband. Nathan and I got married a few days ago. I'm now Joanna Beth Harvelle-Wuornos.

I think it has a very nice ring to it, personally.

Anyone wanting to come by for Thanksgiving supper tomorrow is welcome. Meal will be on the table by four.

The more, the merrier.

The Roadhouse is closed to the public until further notice. If you work here, feel free to swing by. We still have things that can be done and I'll make sure you get a paycheck for the work. Or you can consider this a vacation of sorts. Your call.

On a more personal note, the next one of you who asks me how I'm doing, I'm just as liable to shoot you as answer. Consider this your warning.

Okay so... I saw on this thing that said my car is somehow, inexplicably here, right? Only, I followed the directions and went to the place the note said it would be. And it wasn't there. There was the parking space but definitely no green hearse.

So... yeah. Since I'm guessing those things aren't all that common. I mean, hello, green hearse. If anyone has seen it, could you let me know? It's not like I'm even wanting to necessarily press charges against whoever took it out for a joyride or whatever. I just really hate walking. A lot.

Plus, it belonged to my dad. And he's dead now. So getting it back would be great.

What. The. Actual. Fuck?!? </s>I picked one hell of a time to have a god-damned flashback.</s>

[ooc: follows after this]

[The following conversation/situation is muffled as Ellen's PDA turned on when she put it in her pocket after arriving at Nate's apartment.]

Duke, you wait here. Anything moves in this hallway, you shoot first and forget the damn questions. Damon, you're with me. Stay close and alert. Kate, cover the perimeter. Living room and hallway. Something happens, you get Duke and get the hell out of here. Now everybody stand back.

[There is the sound of a door opening & a few seconds of silence.] Right then. Damon, let's- [Ellen's words are cut off by a low, ominous growling. She sucks in a sharp breath of air.]

Sonofabi- [She grunts as she hits the ground, the PDA sliding out of her pocket and across the floor. Ellen's cry of pain is followed by a shotgun blast. Hello hellhound that demon!Jo left for the group! >.>]

( Nate's voice is weak and a little slurred. )

El? You there?

I...Jo is...she's...

( a pause )

I think I could use some help.

( OOC: This is an actually accidental post, not a product of the Glitch Plot. Nate was trying to call Ellen and didn't hit the right buttons. Set shortly after this, once Nate managed to regain consciousness. )

Where am I? And where is my magic?!? Why can't I even

Don, I know you're around here somewhere. You have exactly three seconds to fix whatever is it you did or else!

Well? I'm waiting.

Worst way to find out you, apparently, have the ability to turn every ball you touch into a SuperBall: go bowling.

So. Anyone happen to know where I can get a job since I now have about a thousand dollars worth of damage to pay off on this place?

So I washing my hands before work...and the water in the sink turned into beer.

Because apparently, that's my new power. Turning water into beer.

...Attempting to take a shower is going to be interesting.

Not sure what's going on right now. But at least I'm not shot in the face.

Anyone care to fill in the rest for me?