I'm a thief. I'm the best thief there is. I like stealing things and I really like stealing things from people who deserve it. I like helping people by stealing things for them, especially if they had it stolen from them by somebody that's more of a bad guy than I am.
I blew up my foster parents' house when I was little because the guy was a jerk who took my stuffed bunny and wouldn't give it back. He told me to be a good girl or a better thief. I chose the second one.
I took the Hope Diamond once, because I was bored, and then I put it back because I felt bad. I had myself buried alive once because I was afraid of the dark. I'm not normal and I don't want to be normal. Being normal scares me. I don't like chick flicks and I think Thelma and Louise were the worst criminals
ever and deserved to fall off that cliff. I like sex and don't like lying and I eat fortune cookies as a meal sometimes because they taste good and the little fortunes make me laugh.
And even with how screwed up I am, I
still think I'm more well-balanced than most of you because I didn't need a stupid compulsion to say any of that because lies are
bad, people worry too much about what others think, and if you're keeping something that important from someone you care about, you ought to be ashamed.