( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

Oh. Well. It's this again, is it? Or will it be this? Still haven't quite gotten the hang of tenses, it seems. I really must work on that but first - and yes, I'm fairly certain it is first, now - where is my thief? Thieves. Two of them. There are two of him, I can tell, yet I can't find him. Them. Tenses! Honestly!

Oh! Wait. Wait. I have it now! I see. Alternate planes of reality, is it? Clever. Very clever. Not very nice though. There's a word, what I'm feeling about all of this. Cross! Yes. That's it. I'm feeling very cross, you know. This is all very, very wrong.

Right. Yes. Hello again. The Doctor here -- remember me? Bit of a mad man, did a whole lot of shouting when I first got here -- sorry about that -- been pretty quiet since then? Yes? No? I'll assume you do -- and if not, no problem, lots of people don't know who I am, nice surprise when that happens really -- and we'll work from there.

I see a lot of you posting things about missing people? Strange place, funny gods -- who kidnaps a Time Lord, really? -- it seems normal to me that people go missing from here all the time. One day, you wake up and they're gone. Still, seems to me, with an awful lot of people putting an awful lot of complaints out there, that maybe, just maybe, this is another of those strange things that happens here.

I've taken a look over the network and created a scanning algorithm that contained a search parameter for the postings, and it came back with the theory that everyone seems to be missing someone they already knew, someone connected to them from where they're from -- again, really, doesn't seem all that out of the ordinary for this place so far -- and take it from me, I know a thing or two about taking things out of the ordinary.

RIGHT! That being said, important questions are to follow, very important, well, maybe not that important -- maybe not questions at all -- more like question -- yes. Single. One question -- Une question, as it were...


Who can see this?

( Illyria sounds pissed off )

How dare he! How dare this Asaph strike at me in this manner!

( a wordless, enraged sound )

How dare he push me aside and let that fragile mortal shell reassert itself even temporarily.

It is an outrage! It is insolence in its purest form.

I will rip apart this so-called god should I ever see him.

What's going on?

Wesley? Angel? Charles? Lorne? Spike?

Harmony even?

Not again. Please not again.

What is this place? I mean, it's obviously some sort of parallel dimension, but I've never seen one where they gave you phones or anything like that.

( OOC: Illyria is Fred for the tail end of the plot. )

( when the PDA turns on, Illyria sounds annoyed )

You mock me. You are not worthy to even speak to me, and yet you mock me. You. A wretched, filthy half-breed who reeks of humanity. In my time you would have been strung up and ripped apart...but slowly, so that you could feel every second of agony that your insolence had wrought.

( a pause )

I could show you if you like.

[ there’s a lengthy silence before Damon can be heard laughing ]

Wow. Just...wow. Do you give speeches like that to everyone who talks back to you because that must get exhausting? Or is that just the tough talk to go along with your outfit?

[ the smirk can practically be heard in his tone ]

Just move on, princess. This wretched, unworthy half-breed has better things to do than listen to you spout off about your superiority.

( a frustrated scoffing sound )

You mortals with your quips. You hide your weakness behind clever words and you think they protect you. You are but a fool. One might think that to still your tongue would be to kill you. Perhaps we should test that.

( there is a hint of something dangerous as she continues )

You have been given far too much leeway. You truly believe that you cannot be harmed. That you can say what you wish with no consequence. It is the worst sort of arrogance, unmerited as it is. It is only right that I correct your error of judgment.

One more word and I will rip out your tongue and feed it back to you. Then we will see how clever you are, vampire.

[ Damon snorts in amusement ]

That sounds like a lot of work. Wouldn’t you rather just go get a latte? Or head to the salon? The blue’s an interesting choice, but it’s not one I would have gone with. It doesn’t really scream ‘All Powerful Deity’ if you get what I me-

[ sudden strangled noise as Damon’s voice cuts off mid word ]

( Illyria sounds smug, her words punctuated by the sound of bones cracking as she continues to squeeze Damon’s throat )

I grow weary of you. You talk and you talk and yet you say nothing of any worth. This is preferable.

( a strange, wet sound as Damon’s heart is forcibly removed from his chest )

Not the tongue, but quite enjoyable nonetheless.

( the sounds of a struggle )

Unhand me. ( more struggling ) Unhand me! ( a loud crash of metal, then spoken loudly, in an offended tone ) You think your metal soldiers can harm me? Your arrogance would be amusing, were it not so insulting!

( the sound of the doors to the library opening )

This is wrong...this place is wrong.

( shouted, though not at the PDA )

What is the meaning of this? What fool dares to play at imprisoning me? Such offense will not be tolerated.

I will tear out your entrails and feed them back into your mewling mouths until you choke.

Fuck

Well, kids, looks like shit just got real.


( Filtered to Anna, Mikey, Mikey's charge, Sammy, Dean-o, Dean's girlfriend, the other brother, Kali, her god-friend, that seer chick, seer chick's friends )

Well, Lucy's here all right. And option one is off the table.

Never let it be said my big brother has qualms about stabbing someone in the back. Metaphorically speaking. Literally speaking, he stabbed him in the front.


( Filtered to Adam the Littlest Antichrist )

Want to stay with Uncle Gabe for a few days? I'm guessing you don't want to be around when Crowley gets home.

( Filtered AWAY from the angels and Crowley. )

Okay, what in the hell was that?

Whoever ordered the Apocalypse? My twice-tasted breakfast thanks you so, so much.

( Filtered to Angel, Wes, Illyria, Faith, Dawn, and Willow )

Okay, so...one second I'm basking in the extreme pleasure of actually seeing my school and the rest of the town fall into a crater, the next I'm in a library where the books have no words.

What's going on? Buffy? Willow?

I'm supposed to be two one and there's three two. Why is there two?

I used to think I'd do anything to be away from there, now I almost wish I was back

This place is too much

The clinic here is nice. It's calming, in a lot of ways, to have something to occupy my time.

There are some days when this place really just plain sucks.

( Filtered to Gabriel Gray )

I hate it when you get a bad gut feeling about something, but can't determine what it is.

I'm probably just being paranoid.

A few questions, if you don't mind. I'm just curious, so indulge me?

NAME:
FORMER LOCATION:
SPECIES:
<b>NAME:</b> <b>FORMER LOCATION:</b> <b>SPECIES:</b>

Might be beneficial to keep a solid record of this here on the network for future reference. I'll go first.

NAME: Eve
FORMER LOCATION: Los Angeles, California, USA, Earth
SPECIES: Human

I. Passed.

Every single class, with B's or above! All of them! And from here on out, no more impossible math classes run by Professors who I am still not totally unconvinced aren't completely evil.

Take that, stupid city that keeps changing and makes studying all but impossible.

This place again? Boooooooring!

Who's ready to have some FUN?

There are far too many of you in this box.

Now, ...that's interesting.

So. Bouncers in the form of knights, PDA's that are handed over all willy-nilly, and people who, when asked perfectly normal questions, respond as though they have a hankering for human brains.

I have to admit, when I was told my time in the living world was up? This is not what I had in mind.

Perpetuity clauses...

I should probably be angry, but I can't bring myself to care. I'm too tired to care

The knights were certainly an interesting touch.

Well if this isn't a humdinger of a doozy. Can't say I've ever gotten the old kick in the keister by a knight before. Not that I get kicked in the keister often. I kinda like my keister unkicked actually and that's not really the point but I'm not sure exactly what else to say because hello, random city that I've never heard of with knights who guard libraries I don't remember going into and could somebody clue a girl in because I gotta admit I'm making with the freaking in a kinda not so small sort of way right now and freaking on me tends to look a little spazzy which is never a good thing.

These beasts are no longer meant for this world. nor am i

...they will do.

I feel like I walked onto the set of Jurassic Park.

This is actually kinda cool

I don't understand. This wasn't where I was before. The dragon— He's not here, is he? It went all full medieval theme on me with those suits of armor tossing me out like that. And this place is...well, the sun is out by itself, so this must be somewhere not Los Angeles. Don't recognize this library or this street. And never had one of these. No, that's a lie. I did, but it wasn't quite like this, which isn't a lie.

...Angel, are you here somewhere? That's a stupid question. The chances of you knowing how to work one of these is slim to none. You could barely check your voicemail. Nina, maybe? Gwen? Someone, just answer me, please. I am not going to be stuck somewhere alone, again. the silence is deafening