( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

( Tasha's answers )

This again? Oh well. I have some time to kill before I need to check on that experiment.

( Kitty's answers )

I'd rather this be private, but since Asaph hasn't seen fit before to keep any of my messaging out of the public... I'm feeling grateful at the moment that I never took a place with the likes of Mephisto and Hela.

There is a discomforting sensation in the energies here. Who exactly needs to be concerned about this anti-demon sentiment?

[ filter: private ]

Oh God...oh my fucking God! No, no, no...Please no. [ He fights back a sob to himself before...reigning himself in. ]


[ public ]

[ Hal clears his throat after a moment of silence. ]

So...I suppose we all know these things happen quite frequently here. Those in charge of the crisis center, I'll be sure to help with the clean-up with everyone that I invited to live here when the event was taking place. [ A pause. ] And if I wasn't imagining it...Alex? Are you out there?

So, I'm pretty sure I'm planning a wedding. I mean, there are bride magazines on the kitchen table and I have a gorgeous ring. I only wish I knew who I was marrying. I'm fairly certain we live together, because there are men's clothes here too, but no one else has come home. I'm getting worried and I don't even know if I should be.

[ public ]

I was told that my last...post was somewhat long-winded.

Everyone who is looking for a place to sleep is more than welcomed at the Crisis Center. It has been established as a base of operations and a roof over your heads. It includes several amenities and meals. For anyone looking to volunteer, you can also approach me here. More help is greatly appreciated as well as desired.


[ filter: natalia (illyana rasputina) ]

Ya neobkhodimostʹ pomoshchʹ, Natalia. Ya...ona skazal ona istselennyy. Ona chertov skazal mne ona istselennyy. Ona ne imeyet prikhoditʹ nazad yeshche. Ya ne znatʹ chto k delatʹ. Ya ne...

[ There's a slight pause and he attempts not to scream. ]

Pozhaluysta, Natalia, pomoshchʹ mne.

Anyone want to explain to me why I woke up in an air vent with no idea who I am?

Or what the fuck somebody did to me that got me a fucking BIONIC ARM? Is this some crazy bull shit government experiment?

Yebat' vashu mat'.

Что ... Что случилось? Кто я?

Почему у меня меч? ... Почему я весь в крови!


[a long pause, throat clearing, then in Russian-accented English]

H-Hello? Hello?



[OOC: Warning: abuse of Google translate ahead.]

Is there anything to do around this place when we aren't being forced to change genders or into unions with strangers?

I almost miss it a little. It's dreadfully dull now.

Hello, Katya. Asaph kept me here for too long to keep me "married." Now I have a minor rebellion to put down. If you're up for a fight, care to join me in putting the demons back in their places?

Well...this could totally suck more. I could be paired with sourwolf or creepy uncle badtouch But it's still weird being stuck with someone who looks exactly like my best friend's sorta-ex-girlfriend.

It's definitely nice to have a break from the Creepiest Roommate Ever™. I mean, I feel bad for the professor being stuck with the guy, but it's still awesome to not have him acting like a creeper 24/7.

Hey, Bonnie. Want to work on some inventory with me at the shop? And by inventory, I mean practicing spells. I'm really starting to get the hang of this stuff.

So...funny story.

I may have possibly misplaced a small child.

Is there a lost and found or something for those?

( Dana sounds confused, and a little out of it )

Hey...you end the world and get a free trip to a library. That's different. ( a pause ) Are you seeing this, Marty? Did...Is this what pot does? I don't think this is the pot...but maybe it's the pot.

[there’s a slight pause before Marty replies; he somehow manages to sound both extremely wary, somewhat confused, and very, very stoned]

Huh. [another pause] No, it's definitely not that. This is... [another pause] actually, Dana, I don't even fucking know what this is. [a slight pause] Aside from being a library, obviously.

[yet another pause; his tone slowly goes from wary to curious]

Hey. You still have that joint?

Huh. ( a slightly pained laugh ) Hey, Marty? The world's ending. And we're in a library. ( another laugh, a little hysterical ) Our friends are dead and the world's ending and we're in a library. And Jules told me no studying. How is this...how is this even our life?

( a pause )

Yeah. Yeah...here. ( another pause ) Marty? I'm glad I didn't shoot you.

[for a moment, there’s nothing more than the sound of someone clearly inhaling something; when Marty does speak again, he's obviously exhaling heavily as well]

I'm glad you didn’t shoot me too. [another pause] I wish I could have stopped you without having to resort to letting a werewolf mortally wound you through vicious mauling. You deserved better.

[another heavy exhale then he gives a soft half-laugh]

Hey. Dana. I just thought... what if this is it?

It's okay, Marty. ( quietly ) This is what I deserve. It's my fault. I was the one who made those...things come. I'm the reason Jules is dead. And Curt. And Holden. Maybe if it had been something else...maybe...maybe... And I was going to shoot you. Maybe. What kind of person does that? Who even... ( she trails off ) Pass that back, would you?

( a pause, then confused )

What if...like the ancient gods are really big on the reading? Or...like...heaven...or hell...or...whatever...has a lot of books?

[there's a bit of shuffling around as Marty hands the joint back over; he's silent for a moment, considering what she said]

To be totally fair, you were trying to save the world. For what it’s worth. [a quick pause] More or less.

[another pause and he sighs heavily]

You know, Dana, at this point that is entirely possible. If giant, evil gods can live in the core of the planet and are only appeased by human fucking sacrifice, resulting in a massive worldwide conspiracy to murder innocent people in really cliched ways, then why can't the afterlife be a giant library? Sounds about right, come to think of it.

[there's another pause then he shifts about]

Of course, that doesn’t explain why you're still bleeding out. [a slight pause; his tone turns concerned and somewhat small sounding] Anything I can do?

( there’s a pause and a long exhale before Dana speaks, as she clearly takes a hit off the joint )

I was...but you were right. If saving the world means killing my friends...why do I want to save that? The world didn't do anything for us. And they’d just keep doing it. Over and over and over. And more people would die and...no. Time for something new.

( a pause )

I kind of like it. All these books. It's nice, you know? Calm. Peaceful. There are worse places to be. And you're here...so there’s that. ( another pause and a sigh ) Don't worry about me, Marty. I'll be fine. I don't feel a thing.

( another pause and a sharp intake of breath )

Huh... ( yet another pause ) Giant evil gods...I thought they'd be taller.

[another pause, then Marty can’t help but give a humorless bark of laughter]

Definitely taller. Hey guys. 'Sup?

[the telltale sound of the guards moving closer to them can be heard; there's a soft groan as Marty forces himself to his feet and takes a few steps to place himself between Dana and the advancing guards]

Seriously. Nice place you've got here. Very... educational looking. [another pause; Marty starts to sound a bit more on edge]

Right. Big, strong, silent types. I can dig it. [he clears his throat] Hey, Dana. I don't suppose there is any chance you could get up right now and, you know, run for your life. [a pause] Again.

( Dana's quiet while Marty talks to the knights, then remains quiet for a moment )

Get up...right...just...give me a second... ( a pause and the sound of Dana struggling to her feet, slipping in the blood on the floor before righting herself ) Run? Now? Can we get to the running now? I don’t know how much longer I can...ugh...screw this. ( the sound of something being picked up and thrown at the knights, clanging against the metal ) Marty. Running. Now.

[Marty sucks in a sharp breath.]

Right. Running. In a library. From giant, evil gods. Sounds like a- [he trails off then, after a look around, announces] door. To the door. Come on, let’s go. [there's the sound of footsteps, not quite as fast as usual considering Marty is making sure to keep hold of Dana's hand; the guards can be heard following after them, before there's a loud creaking sound and Marty's tone turns slightly hopeful]

Hey, look. It's opening. That's... a little creepy and probably going to end horribly for us, but points for an easy escape this time, yeah?

( Dana starts laughing again )

We're running...in a library. Oh god, we’re not supposed to run in libraries. Freaking zombies and gods and...I'm worried about running in a library. Right. Priorities. ( the sound of running and stumbling before they get to the door ) Open it. Open it. I don't care what's out there...we just need to get out. Well...I care. What do you think is out there? Monsters? Fire? Some kind of horrible...

( a pause, as they get outside )

...city? A...really normal, not horrible city?

( a pause, then the knights toss them the PDAs )

...We're in a city. And the evil gods just gave us phones. What... ( a pause as she sits on the steps ) I still have the joint. I think we need it.

Okay. What the hell? I'm only 17. Not that I often play that card. Who does when they're a year away from being an adult? But this is totally not something I signed up for.

I guess I could have gotten worse, but still. Come on!

I see that the displays of impressively infuriating power will continue. Not only could I not break the ring's bond or dislodge it from my finger, you've disrupted my stepping discs so I can't enter my own domain to remove it or otherwise escape my "husband".

If I understand correctly, when you do choose to return me to my original location, time won't have passed. That isn't a new experience for me, which I suppose you already know. I have no choice but to remain here until you release me.

So, I offer you my respect even in my fury. You've forced me into your domain and I must subject myself to your rules. I am, after all, no god in this realm. However, I'd like to make a request. When you've ended this latest game, and when it doesn't conflict with your others, I wish to recover my access to Limbo. I won't deny that I've entertained the thought of escape, but I'm sure it's within your power to prevent me from exiting anywhere off of this planet. If I'm to respect you, it would be highly disrespectful to flee.



[OOC: Hopefully it reaches Asaph even with the filter being busted!]

Right. This again. I don't remember going to bed with a woman last night, as I'm pretty sure I would if I did. I also seem to have a wedding ring on my finger. Again, unless I was really drunk last night, which is kind of hard for me to do because you know, demon over here, I'd remember getting married. So, it would appear that Freeman doesn't want me to be lonely for Valentine's Day, and decided to give me a new spouse. She's very pretty, and she seems really nice, but no offense to her or anything, not quite my type, there, Freeman. But I guess I appreciate the gesture.

The power it took to bring me here— and somehow keep me here— is almost as impressive as it is infuriating.

But know this, my kidnapper and any allies of the same, that when I'm able to make you pay, you will pay with blood and soul for trapping me here. And I can be very patient.

So with that out of the way, what's fun around here? The civilians are boring.

Okay. Morgan Freeman, we have to have a little talk, you and me.

I am girl. Now, I don't know what you know about girls, but we have vaginas. And breasts. We do not have penises, which I seem to have one right now. Not that I have anything against penises. I like penises, on men, which I am not supposed to be. Because I'm female, not male. I have a vagina, not a penis. Get it right.

Right. First things first. I just got...here, wherever here is. I can't say I'm really familiar with the area, and those knights weren't very helpful, though the phone they gave me was pretty helpful.

Anyway...

My name is Cassie Lang. I'm sixteen years old, from New York City, a sophomore in high school</s>, and a Young Avenger</s>. I'm also supposed to be dead, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Unless this is heaven, or some weird limbo, in which case it's not like I pictured it at all. But since I seem to be alive and not a spirit or whatever you're supposed to become once you die, I'm guessing I'm not.

And I'm rambling. Which is probably a little annoying if you're reading this, but I think I'm allowed a little freaked-out rambling at first.

I can safely say that I am not amused by this.

This was only fun when I did it myself, Uncle. It's not now! CHANGE ME BACK!