( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

All you adults are stupid. Really really stupid.

You're all bickering and worried about your stupid grown up problems and ignoring everyone else.

And meanwhile someone KILLED MY SISTER. My twin sister. What kind of stupid adult kills a ten year old and no one else notices or says nothing?

So I'm gonna take my baby sister and look after her, cause it's pretty clear nobody else is good at it.

I hate you all and you're all stupid.

Was anyone else dead before this?

What the hell is going on around here?

Is it just me, or did half the city turn into kids?Thank God it didn't happen to me

We should probably do something about rounding them up The last thing we need is a city full of kids wandering around with the nut jobs in this place and I'm not going to let kids get hurtagain. Is there anywhere big enough that you know of where we could house 'em, keep an eye on them, or is there any way we can get an accurate head count as to who might be..afflicted..or sick..or changed - whatever?

I've counted at least three so far. And it seems like Tony and some other have been changed,seriously, this sounds like bad science fiction on some level. I really don't think it's a good idea to let kids wander the streets here.

( the little boy's voice sounds nervous )

Momma? ( hesitantly ) Barney?

( a pause )

Where am I? I'm up high and I don't know how to get down and...and...I don't know how I got here...

( another pause )

Hello? Momma? Barney? ( very hesitantly ) Dad?

Is anyone there?

Hey. Coulson. You can see this? C'mon. Everyone else can see their room mates again, tell me you can see this..

We should go out for a drink. Maybe bring your friend Clint, invite Tony, or something. Yeah?

Please tell me you can see this, 'cause I really think I'm starting to lose my mind.

To anyone who can see this (and is of legal drinking age): tonight, I'm going to have an Iron Man viewing party in the tower. Complete with the Iron Man drinking game that Darcy Lewis found. I don't actually have the DVD, but I've got the internet and an HDMI cable -- and Steve's not here to give me the "Piracy is bad" talk -- so there shouldn't be any problems with this plan. I've got some alcohol here, but I firmly believe that you can never have too much.

I predict that this will fulfill my desire to get drunk (and any need I may have for socialization) while circumventing the long, boring process of us getting to know each other, so it's a win-win.

Has anyone seen my room mate? Coulson. Phil Coulson. I'm not even sure why I care so much but If the guy's been sent home, good for him, but I'd still like to know if he's around.

Thank you.

I swear, if I have to try and make friends here, I'm just going to get drunk. All day.

I'm not going to complain. I am certain there is some purpose to this, but I have to admit that beyond work, I am finding myself starved for company. A Monday may be the worst time to ask if anyone is up for an evening out, but that is exactly what I'm doing.

I. WANT. MY. FAMILY. BACK.

I seem to be the only one not really understanding why everyone is so concerned. Someone want to tell me why this phone is exploding with people freaking out about missing people? I'm not seeing anything different.

Seriously. This place is boring sometimes. I can deal with not being on Earth, with leaving the gang behind, but I'm supposed to just sit around and wait for something to happen? I'm seriously debating taking up chewing on my fingernails.

I have exactly one magazine of ammunition in this gun. One.

Would anyone like to bring more guns out in the woods and shoot at things? Something, anything? Anyone?

Filtered to Steve Rogers

Was this what it was like when you woke up? Everyone knows all about you, but no one really knows you at all? I think this guy has some of your stuff here. Remind me to give it back to you.

Filtered to Clint Barton

Update on the Romanoff situation?

By the way, you owe me a drink, Captain Grappling Hook. Why do you have that, anyway?

I've got to find something to wear besides the clothes women have left at this guy's house. Although some of it's pretty all right. Kind of looks like Pepper's stuff.

Anyway. Looks like I'm going to be stuck here for a while. So in the spirit of making the most of that, there's a party at a rich dude's house tonight. Invite list is open, but if you're a jackass I'm kicking you out.

You should also note that Stark Tower has a very strict no-murder policy. Check any lethal weapons at the door that aren't permanently attached to your person. All epic battles will take place outside, weather permitting. No promises, but you should all know that my last party ended in a robot battle, so prepare yourselves.

So, this snow business. I see people suggesting gatherings and snowball fights.

It's been awhile since I've been somewhere it snowed. I think I might see what it's like out there, anyone interested in joining?

So I know I am new here and all, but what is up with this place? It is snowing in July.. I feel this is very unnatural. Anyway, the cold makes me want to curl up infront of the fireplace, or get together with friends. Seeing as I have none of those... Anyone up for a Winter Gathering?

It has come to my attention that I am going to need money and I still cannot believe people are using paper, though these chit like devices, I can manage. a job.

Where could I acquire one of these for someone with my background? Specifics can be given upon request.

And I would just like to go on record and say this is a pain in my ass.

Thank you,

-Commander, Jane Shepard

Now that I've got the hang of this thing, this technology is so old, here's hoping it can actually be of some use.

Allow me to begin by introducing myself, Sir. I'm Commander Jane Shepard, of the Systems Alliance Navy. I know that doesn't mean anything to you here, or likely where you're from, but, well, lets just say you seem like a man who could provide me with a much needed service.

Technology here is...antique, to say the least, and I happen to be in possession of several pieces of it from my time, I can't believe I'm actually saying that, that are in dire need of repair thanks for that, Harbinger. I understand that you're a man with the skill and aptitude in these affairs who might, with a bit of luck, be able to help me get them up and running again.

Now, I trust you understand that, if it is, in fact, twenty twelve, this isn't the kind of technology that can be running around just everywhere - at least not all of it. I would be willing to provide you with a crash course in their basic functions and purposes, in exchange for the use of your skill and, if you have them, tools and materials that should help in the repair. If you think this arrangement might be agreeable, reply here.

I'll be in touch.

Thank you,

- Commander Jane Shepard.

The those knights obviously don't know me very well, or they'd know that locking me up in prison wasn't a very good idea.

At least, not locking me up in a prison I could break myself out of that easily. I mean, really. There at least should have been some challenge in it. Also...who puts a jail in the basement of a library?

Now that I'm out of library jail, anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?

So. I think I've figured this thing out. It feels all...old..and clunky.

I've decided I don't like the stars as much, seeing them from just the ground either. This is going to be hard.

The hell is...seriously? A pysch eval? It's bad enough I haven't even had a proper drink, and am in a hospital bed, but now I have to fill this thing out. Great.

Someone out there, please tell me I can get a proper drink when I'm out of here? Otherwise I'm damn sure I'm about to lose my mind.

( I can't believe I'm doing this.. )

A soft groan accompanied by an odd sound, perhaps the sound some material being dragged and moved about.

Wha-

The slightly distant, female, voice breaks at once, as another fit of coughing abruptly overtakes the words. More, seemingly labored, sounds of movement follow, another some kind of crashing sound.

Where am I? Hello? Anderson? Williams?
another round of coughs as the tone grows a touch toward the frantic.

Status report.

a pause for a moment, and more sounds of movement, getting louder as it seems to approach the PDA.

Where the hell am I?... And where the hell is everyone else? Did it work? ...what the hell is -

the message ends as it sounds like the PDA is picked up

Anyone want to explain to me why the hell I was just compelled to sing three verses about my kitchen sink?

To whoever thought using those poorly constructed bits of scrap metal as a defence system was a good idea, you can pick up what's left of them on the steps of that library where I woke.

Now. Would someone mind telling me where in the kriff I am? The alignment of stars overhead doesn't look even the least bit familiar.

The library was a nice touch. I won't be as nice to the next set of guards, though.

Two questions: Where am I and how do I get back?

</s>What happened is really starting to sink in.</s>

Does that bar still offer free drinks?

Save one damn galaxy, get dumped right back into another. Figures.

As if things weren't tense enough between Edward and I because of the whole Jacob thing...

But now this is just ridiculous!

We went to try and find something to eat and the next thing I know, Edward is kissing someone else?!?!

I guess I really shouldn't talk, since I also kissed someone at midnight. But I can't help but wonder if Edward truly has a thing for blondes... since the girl he kissed looks so much like Rosalie and of course, is a vampire.

I know, I know.. I'm such a hypocrit. But I can't help but wonder why Edward would ever want to be with silly, clumsy human me?

I just have to say I'm not really comfortable with this.

I mean, I'm sure you're a great gal, Miss Frost, but this is moving pretty quick for me. I don't really date a lot. Or ever. And I sort of have a girl back home. And it's not that you aren't pretty, because you are. I'm just not comfortable with this arrangement.

I like making out with new people as much as the next girl, but this is kind of disturbing. In a really hilarious way.

My partner for this weird thing sparkles more than the accessories I was wearing last night.

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

As if I didn't already hate this place...

I'd like the human that kissed my Sookie at midnight last night to know that I will be watching you very closely.

Dear Morgan Freeman,

YOU. SUCK.

No love,
Parker

P.S. Damon, I need you to eat someone for me. Grab your enforced significant other and get over here. STAT.

So, in spite of the holiday, I'm declaring the coffee shop open and all the drinks half price. If anyone wants to come and talk about things, see significant others, or try to work out living arrangements for as long this craziness lasts, you're welcome.

Can we have the Gremlins back, please? 'cause this isn't my idea of a friggin' happy New Year.

I had some time to fill here and there between the constant city hall verbal beatings meetings and gremlin killings, so I dug out that question thing. Finally finished it! Good thing it wasn't on paper, or it might have gremlin gut stains.

( So many questions... )

I'm hoping that someone could help me. I was just escorted out of a library and I have found myself in this strange place. Could someone be kind of enough to tell me where I am and more importantly, how do I leave?

Also, has anyone seen or heard from a Bella Swan? It is very important that I know that she's safe.

Thank you.

Oh, and one more thing....what are these tiny monsters running around?

We've got gremlins. Listen up, or the eyeball equivalent.

WARNINGS:

• Get kids, animals, and anyone else who can't defend themselves to safety. Gremlins are violent and they've already attacked children and a velociraptor and temporarily killed someone.
  
• DO NOT USE WATER. Guess how gremlins reproduce? The city water supply just got shut off, but play it safe-- ditch your bottled water if you have that, and stay away from bodies of water that can't be drained. You can still use other liquids, but avoid plain water. Invest in perfume ETA: The Rani is working on a gremlin-specific water soluble toxin.
  
• DON'T FEED THEM, specifically after midnight, but just in general, DON'T FEED THEM.
  
• If you've heard the old pilot stories about gremlins sabotaguing machinery, guess what? True. Be careful what you rely on, because it could go very wrong for you if gremlins play with it.
  

Things to know:

• Gremlins are pests. Your moral stance on how to deal with sentient homicidal pests may vary. Unless you have, say, a horse and cart to haul them waaaay out of the city since automobiles would mean epic fail, you might want to avoid engaging them yourself and leave pest control to someone else. ETA: Bodyguards and other help:
  • Jane Shepard will take care of the shooting.
    
  • Ashley Magnus can teleport you to safety.
    
  • Lily Potter can as well, and she can put up defensive wards if you want them.
    
  • Nessie Cullen can deal with them for you in a less shooty way.
• Gremlins vs. sunlight -- WINNER: LIGHT. Anybody have thoughts on how to rig those UV tanning beds up like flood lights? Other lights freak them out, too. The daylight'll keep them hiding, but at night, we can still fry 'em. ETA: Any light, just crank it up. If you can move stadium lights from the stadium to brighten high traffic areas or otherwise rig up some brightness, do it.
  
• Speaking of frying, you can electrocute the hell out of them. Lots of things work-- just don't try drowning them.
  
• My brilliant husband pointed out that we could distract them with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Seriously. If Claire's store has a copy that could be removed from the premises, or anybody else happens to have it, let's gather up some AV equipment and find a central location to project it and lure in the gremlins. Don't bring equipment you can't stand to possibly lose. Claire has contacted a theatre about running it tonight, but we'll need to deal with the gremlins in there some other way besides a movie-style burning-down-the-house. Maybe my ridiculous tanning bed idea? Anyone who's up for barricading the gremlins in and shooting the hell out of them, volunteers welcome.

What are these green creatures that break into apartments? Are they common here?

I was filling a bath when one burst in on me. It developed disgusting sores on its back that grew into more creatures. I managed to strangle the first with a hair dryer cord before it could do much more damage, and then I threw the dryer in the tub to deal with the new ones. That seemed to work. I think the bathroom is ruined now.

What do I do with the bodies?

Since it's a slow day, I figured I'd do something inane.

( It's a pretty good time sink. )

Does anyone care to explain to me where I am and why I am here?

Pam! I don't know why you are ignoring the call of your Maker but if you see this, I want you to report to your Maker immediately!

Is this an experiment?

I nearly broke my neck when I got up for water in the night. Like this flat wasn't bloody crowded enough.

Prongs, crawl our from whatever pit you're in and help me charm more decorations. I've got you a hat.

Who the FUCK broke into our house?!

These devices are extremely 0110001001110101011001110110011101111001, aren't they?

They keep trying to output this:

010000100110010100100000011100110111010101110010011001
010010000001110100011011110010000001100100011100100110
100101101110011010110010000001111001011011110111010101
110010001000000100111101110110011000010110110001110100
01101001011011100110010100101110

What is "0100111101110110011000010110110001110100011010010110111001100101"?

Could anyone tell me what the 01110111011011110111001001100100 "Christmas" is? I've just arrived and I keep seeing and hearing that 01110111011011110111001001100100 everywhere. The network explanation I found doesn't explain this. When I've asked 011100000110010101101111011100000110110001100101 on the streets, they keep quoting a scripture I've never heard. Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

qwetry
arthur Charli
,./.?

Can anyone tell me where I am? I think theres been a mix up with the floo network.

Well, that definitely went quicker than last time. Then again, last time was twins, so it's not too surprising.

As of a little over two and a half hours ago, Jack and Meri officially have a little sister. Samara Gabrielle Winchester. Yes, I know. It's the creepy little girl in the Ring. But that's not why we picked it. And I don't think she's going to be an evil little demon child. She and Claire are perfectly healthy and should be coming home in a day or two.

Just wanted to give folks an update and, since I'm too damn tired to figure out who all I need to filter this to, you all get it.

Are we participating in the Games here? I don't expect anyone to answer me or provide me with an honest answer as it may prove to be quite disadvantage to tell an opponent what exactly they are up against.

Still....this is the strangest arena I have ever seen.

Okay. Now that I've figured out how to work this little device here (and really, to whoever's idea it was coming up with this little thing, it's very ingenious), I can get down to the more important business.

Hello. I'm Howard Stark. Would anyone care to explain to me where and when I am? As I'm pretty sure this ain't 1942 anymore.

Also, if anyone knows how to get back to 1942, that would be great. I have something very important to do for a friend of a mine.

OK where am I and what’s going on?

I’m pretty darn sure that I didn’t touch anything today that could have done this. Just played with Harriet Tubman’s thimble, Billy the Kid’s deck of cards, and Walt Disney’s Paintbrush. Also the bottomless cookie jar but how could that possibility be evil.

And I didn’t smell fudge when there was no fudge present.

Maybe I accidentally touched Isaac Asimov’s typewriter or something.

At least I still have my Tesla and Farnsworth even if the Farnsworth does not seem to be working for some reason. Really weird.

And these Christmas decorations are giving me bad vibes. And not just because some of them are creepy. Yeah I'm talking about giant nutcracker.

My name is Robert Fischer, and I am am very confused as to why or how I am here. At first I assumed I was dreaming, but I have had no reply from -

Anyway, I would greatly appreciate it if someone, anyone, could explain to me what's going on and help me get back to Los Angeles. I can certainly make it worth your while.

So... we're not actually related, are we? </s>I'm a little disappointed. I liked having you guys as family.</s>

Somebody remind me not to go out drinking with Jack again when he's upset. I think I drank more in one night then I have in my entire life.