( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

If that could never happen again, that would be awesome.

Well lookie here.

I missed this place. But now I'm back! Didja miss me?

Kitty cat, you around here somewhere? I hope you are. This place just ain't as fun without you.

So I'm in a strange city on another planet, because of a god who isn't the god who wanted us sacrificed, and I'm not dead and Marty isn't dead and Jules isn't dead. And okay. That's fine. It's good. Bring Curt and Holden here and it'll be awesome.

But then I woke up this morning with a ring on my finger and a man I don't know and this is not okay. It isn't. It's just not.

I'm sorry I screamed and threw a lamp at you, guy I woke up with. And then locked myself in the bathroom and cried. For three hours. In retrospect, that might have been an overreaction. But I've kind of had a rough few days.

Marty? Jules? Are you guys okay? You're still here, right?

( Dana sounds confused, and a little out of it )

Hey...you end the world and get a free trip to a library. That's different. ( a pause ) Are you seeing this, Marty? Did...Is this what pot does? I don't think this is the pot...but maybe it's the pot.

[there’s a slight pause before Marty replies; he somehow manages to sound both extremely wary, somewhat confused, and very, very stoned]

Huh. [another pause] No, it's definitely not that. This is... [another pause] actually, Dana, I don't even fucking know what this is. [a slight pause] Aside from being a library, obviously.

[yet another pause; his tone slowly goes from wary to curious]

Hey. You still have that joint?

Huh. ( a slightly pained laugh ) Hey, Marty? The world's ending. And we're in a library. ( another laugh, a little hysterical ) Our friends are dead and the world's ending and we're in a library. And Jules told me no studying. How is this...how is this even our life?

( a pause )

Yeah. Yeah...here. ( another pause ) Marty? I'm glad I didn't shoot you.

[for a moment, there’s nothing more than the sound of someone clearly inhaling something; when Marty does speak again, he's obviously exhaling heavily as well]

I'm glad you didn’t shoot me too. [another pause] I wish I could have stopped you without having to resort to letting a werewolf mortally wound you through vicious mauling. You deserved better.

[another heavy exhale then he gives a soft half-laugh]

Hey. Dana. I just thought... what if this is it?

It's okay, Marty. ( quietly ) This is what I deserve. It's my fault. I was the one who made those...things come. I'm the reason Jules is dead. And Curt. And Holden. Maybe if it had been something else...maybe...maybe... And I was going to shoot you. Maybe. What kind of person does that? Who even... ( she trails off ) Pass that back, would you?

( a pause, then confused )

What if...like the ancient gods are really big on the reading? Or...like...heaven...or hell...or...whatever...has a lot of books?

[there's a bit of shuffling around as Marty hands the joint back over; he's silent for a moment, considering what she said]

To be totally fair, you were trying to save the world. For what it’s worth. [a quick pause] More or less.

[another pause and he sighs heavily]

You know, Dana, at this point that is entirely possible. If giant, evil gods can live in the core of the planet and are only appeased by human fucking sacrifice, resulting in a massive worldwide conspiracy to murder innocent people in really cliched ways, then why can't the afterlife be a giant library? Sounds about right, come to think of it.

[there's another pause then he shifts about]

Of course, that doesn’t explain why you're still bleeding out. [a slight pause; his tone turns concerned and somewhat small sounding] Anything I can do?

( there’s a pause and a long exhale before Dana speaks, as she clearly takes a hit off the joint )

I was...but you were right. If saving the world means killing my friends...why do I want to save that? The world didn't do anything for us. And they’d just keep doing it. Over and over and over. And more people would die and...no. Time for something new.

( a pause )

I kind of like it. All these books. It's nice, you know? Calm. Peaceful. There are worse places to be. And you're here...so there’s that. ( another pause and a sigh ) Don't worry about me, Marty. I'll be fine. I don't feel a thing.

( another pause and a sharp intake of breath )

Huh... ( yet another pause ) Giant evil gods...I thought they'd be taller.

[another pause, then Marty can’t help but give a humorless bark of laughter]

Definitely taller. Hey guys. 'Sup?

[the telltale sound of the guards moving closer to them can be heard; there's a soft groan as Marty forces himself to his feet and takes a few steps to place himself between Dana and the advancing guards]

Seriously. Nice place you've got here. Very... educational looking. [another pause; Marty starts to sound a bit more on edge]

Right. Big, strong, silent types. I can dig it. [he clears his throat] Hey, Dana. I don't suppose there is any chance you could get up right now and, you know, run for your life. [a pause] Again.

( Dana's quiet while Marty talks to the knights, then remains quiet for a moment )

Get up...right...just...give me a second... ( a pause and the sound of Dana struggling to her feet, slipping in the blood on the floor before righting herself ) Run? Now? Can we get to the running now? I don’t know how much longer I can...ugh...screw this. ( the sound of something being picked up and thrown at the knights, clanging against the metal ) Marty. Running. Now.

[Marty sucks in a sharp breath.]

Right. Running. In a library. From giant, evil gods. Sounds like a- [he trails off then, after a look around, announces] door. To the door. Come on, let’s go. [there's the sound of footsteps, not quite as fast as usual considering Marty is making sure to keep hold of Dana's hand; the guards can be heard following after them, before there's a loud creaking sound and Marty's tone turns slightly hopeful]

Hey, look. It's opening. That's... a little creepy and probably going to end horribly for us, but points for an easy escape this time, yeah?

( Dana starts laughing again )

We're running...in a library. Oh god, we’re not supposed to run in libraries. Freaking zombies and gods and...I'm worried about running in a library. Right. Priorities. ( the sound of running and stumbling before they get to the door ) Open it. Open it. I don't care what's out there...we just need to get out. Well...I care. What do you think is out there? Monsters? Fire? Some kind of horrible...

( a pause, as they get outside )

...city? A...really normal, not horrible city?

( a pause, then the knights toss them the PDAs )

...We're in a city. And the evil gods just gave us phones. What... ( a pause as she sits on the steps ) I still have the joint. I think we need it.

I must say it is disconcerting to fall asleep next to one Loki and wake up next to another.

Still, he is pleasant enough. There are worse people to be stuck with. Even if he does swear a lot

Someone tell me we're allowed to swap.

I fear I may commit a grievous error should I be expected to tolerate Parker for much longer.

Yeah. I don't think so.

This needs to be over. Now.

I went to sleep male. I didn't wake up that way.

So. Yeah. That's something that happened.

Interesting.

I've been thinking. Aside from you dying during that nasty business that was an alien invasion, I actually like it here. It's not the same as back home, but I'm also dead back home. So there's that.

In all seriousness, I am happy for you that you found someone, even if it being another man was a little strange at first. ...Not that I have anything against you and Canton. I like Canton. He's a good man, and that's what you need.

I'm still a little unsure how I feel about Loki, even if he's apparently changed. He killed me, after all. Even though I was taking a stand against him, and wouldn't change anything, I still can't help but just feel...uneasy around him.

I really am glad to be back, though it is always strange to make a return from death.

I am terribly sorry for worrying anyone.

I figured I might as well answer those questions, though there are many I had no answer too, because it was persistent in remaining on my PDA.

( Neria's answers )

Quick question. Anyone seen Natasha recently?

I know I just posted, but this thing popped up, and I figured why not.

( Clint's answers )

Well that was something.

[Fail!Filter to Kitty]
Right. So. On a scale of one to ten with how mad you are at me for getting myself killed... think I could get some pants?

And that, as they say, is that. I do believe that was the last of them. The streets should be safe now, for those of you who have been barricading themselves inside. If anyone still has any injuries which need attention, I shall turn my efforts towards clearing out and cleaning up whatever damage was done to the clinic.

If anyone would care to assist.

I don't suppose shouting 'Avengers Assemble' will work here? Thought as much. Now what are Weeping Angels and where do I need to shoot them?

I've finished the device that Hank and I were working on. If I've managed it, it should override the Daleks controls and allow me to hack them and initiate a self-destruct sequence.

I'm just going to need some help putting it into effect. The Daleks know about it, and it's clear they'll go to great lengths to stop its use. But even with that risk, this has to be done.

I simply refuse to stand by and let Hank's sacrifice be in vain.

Man, what is with this place and the constant threats? I'm all for a battle as much as the next guy but fuck this is ridiculous. You don't just toss somebody out of the library and into this shit. It's just bad for business, that's just all there is to it.

Now. Someone want to help me out and tell me the easiest way to kill these things or should I just go for mass genocide of the levitating tin cans and robots and call it a day?

( There's a sound like electricity hitting something and dissipating and then a small explosion. Sounds of fighting can be heard. There's a sharp gasp and Neria speaks. )

By the Maker...what are you creatures? Why couldn't I remember you before? ( another crackling of dispelled electricity, and Neria sounds frustrated but determined. ) It is no matter. You will die all the same.

( There are more sounds of fighting, heavy breathing and metal hitting something. Occasionally there's a loud blast of fire or cracking like ice shattering as Neria uses various elemental spells against the Silents she's fighting. There is the occasional pained sound as a Silent gets a hit past her shields )

I swear by Andraste, I will not allow you to go free and harm others! ( there is more fighting and then one of the Silents speak )

What will you do? We are many, and you are alone and weak.

( It's quiet for a moment, save for Neria's breathing, and then she speaks, sounding resolved )

I may alone...but I am by no means weak. ( a pause, then very quietly ) Maker guide me...

( Suddenly there is a huge explosion of magic, then the PDA cuts out abruptly )

My friends, it is with great regret that I must relay to you the passing of a great and noble warrior, our comrade and brother in arms, Bruce Banner. He was slain in a battle against the Cyber Men and Daleks, and his honorable death would truly earn him a place in the vaulted halls of Valhalla, where the brave may live forever. Though it does little to temper the sting of his loss, perhaps we may take comfort in the knowledge of his impending return. And to those who knew him best, I extend my deepest condolences.

[There's the sound of buttons being pressed, and Phil definitely sounds like he's been drinking. His words are a bit slurred, and he doesn't have his usual calm, collected, even tone. It's very clear he's upset.]

...Pepper? Pepper?

[A pause, and a slightly frustrated sigh.]

I know...I know it's late..but I need to talk to someone. Can't talk to anyone else, really. Since my only other friend is dead.

[Another pause.]

Wait. There is Tasha. But she's...well, Tasha.

[He pauses again, and he makes a sound as he clears his throat.]

Clint's dead, Pepper. Clint's dead, and I should've been there. I should've been backing him up. I should've known he'd need my help. But I didn't. And now, my friend is dead.

[He pauses again, and he can be heard shuffling around. A couple of empty bottles fall to the floor, but he doesn't seem to notice.]

I sound so stupid. I just...need a friend. And you're not dead. At least, I hope not.

[OOC: While this is an "accidental" voice post, Phil did not actually intend to voice post. He currently thinks he called Pepper, as he pressed a wrong button. Like I stated, he's been drinking.]

[In the distance, you can hear the general chaos and destruction taking place on the streets. Emma's breathing sounds much closer to the PDA than all of that. Obviously, she's somewhere not in the thick of things. When she speaks, her voice is hushed and clearly she is not happy.]

Great. Just freaking great. How did I fall for this? I mastered the act of systematically dividing and conquering when I was ten, for crying out loud.

[There's a pause, coupled with a few, evenly paced footsteps.]

Okay. Keep it together. Sure, things aren't looking so hot right now, but that Doctor guy said all you had to do was not blink. I can handle that. Easy. I just won't blink, or look away, while also trying to figure out how to get out of here and-

[There's an odd rustling sound and Emma inhales sharply.]

Holy crap, you guys move fast. If I weren't about to be murdered by statues, I might almost be impressed. [a pause] Okay. Definitely no blinking again. As long as I don't blink, I'll... [another pause and some more rustling; Emma's tone, clearly wary, still somehow manages to not sound half as afraid as she is feeling.]

Let me guess. You're the distraction, huh? I can't look, obviously, but your friends are right behind me. [a sigh] And I fell for it. [another sigh and her tone turns determined]

Okay. You guys want a piece of me? Let's do this.

[There's the sound of stone shattering and a few random grunts of pain from Emma, before everything goes silent.]

There's a bit of a problem.

It would appear Claire is...well...gone.

[ Filtered to Thor ]

It seems as though mother has been returned to Asgard. She must have been needed there more than her presence here was still required. Since we did Do you think there could be a way to overwhelm whatever wipes our memories when we are returned?

[ Filtered to Neria ]

My mother has been sent home.

Who wants to join me for a snowball fight in the park tomorrow?

[Filtered to Stark Tower Residents/Honorary Avengers]

So, what are the plans for Christmas? I think it's vital to everyone's Christmas spirit that we have a party.

[Filtered to Loki]

I have a Christmas present for you.

[Sif sounds a little confused, as the pda turns on]

What is this? How did I get here? Surely, I have not been called away from my duty and Asgard...

[She notices the guards, and the sound of armor clanking can be heard as she runs towards them]

Excuse me, guard! Pray, tell me, what is this place?

[The guards reach for Sif, and she can be heard unsheathing her sword.]

You will unhand me at once!

[There's the sound of a brief scuffle, and Sif makes her way out of the library, the door slamming shut behind her.]

What is this place? Some trick of Loki's to take me away from my duty on Asgard?

Apparently, dying isn't what it used to be anymore.

That post on the network was really helpful. It makes this whole being brought back to life on another planet experience easier. And I can focus on more important things.

I'll introduce myself. My name is Special Agent Phil Coulson, of SHIELD. I'm apparently going to be staying here awhile, so I might as well find a job. Is there any sort of government office, here?

[ooc: if your character thinks they might be included in claire's very general filter, they probably are]

Right, so December is a pretty busy month for us, what with all three kids having birthdays as well as Christmas. And considering it's Colligo, we pretty much know the idea of celebrating the holidays on the actual date in question is just plain dumb. It never works out.

So. Here's the plan.

( Click to see the party dates. )

We're going to be having Christmas dinner, and presents, on Christmas Eve. Just in case. If anyone wants to stop by, we can definitely set something up. Or come visit you, if you really want to brave the kids running around your place.

( Filtered to Lucifer )

I'm bored.

Does anyone want to take the lead on fixing entertaining me?

At this point, I am very, very open to the unorthodox. If I was the godfather, this would be my daughter's wedding. Except that instead of granting favors, I'm open to terrible ideas.

Oh that is a relief.

I cannot express my relief at having my magic returned to me. It was as though a part of my very spirit had been ripped out

( Loki )

( Frigga )

( Alistair )

( Willow )

Somebody better start talking. I wasn't finished with my shawarma yet and Barton gets cranky when I don't check in with him. He's not the kind of guy you want to make cranky, believe me. I have first hand experience here.

Hey, Mrs. Thor and Loki's mom. How're you adjusting to Colligo? Have you been affected by Asaph's latest bout of fun and annoyance? So, I was wondering if you had any embarrassing stories about Thor and Loki when they were kids that you might be willing to share.

( Steve sounds different, less self-assured and somewhat out of breath )

Guys...something's wrong...

Right, so... I'm human now. Which is a thing that happened, apparently. And that's fine. I can deal. But something tells me, from what I'm seeing on the network, that someone else might not be human right now.

So, if you're female - because we're going to assume Asaph isn't an actual idiot and would do this to a male - and if you're feeling an overwhelming sense of violence and general loathing and distaste toward every man in existence, and can now benchpress a Buick... we should probably talk. Just an idea.

[There's a sharp intake of breath then a feminine voice muttering under her breath.]

What trickery is this? This is not-

[The sound of metal clanking causes her to trail off, only to immediately speak up in a much harder sounding tone.]

Identify yourselves! Do you hear me? I said identify yourse-

[a pause then there's a loud clang that reverberates throughout the library followed by another pause; the woman's voice is steady but with a hint of wariness]

Should you attempt to place your hands upon me, you will befall the same fate as that of your compatriot. The same shall be said if you do not grant me an exit at once.

[another pause before the low creaking of a door opening can be heard; the woman's tone becomes a touch less hostile]

I thank you for your cooperation. Nay, I have no need for your trinkets, I merely- [a pause] Very well. At your insistence. [the rest becomes muffled as the PDA is placed in a pocket]

Good day, sir. May your compatriot someday learn the wisdom which you clearly possess.

[slow, steady footsteps can be heard then the squeaking of the door sealing shut behind her; she draws in another sharp breath]

Where in the Nine Realms... [a pause; faintly bemused] What a particularly strange abduction.

I must admit that I'm a bit surprised by this stretch of quiet. I can only imagine some new surprise is coming soon to shake things up, but I rather enjoy this respite.

( Fail!Filtered to Alistair )
How are you settling in, my king?

I do hope you do not miss your lovely queen too much. I do not imagine Anora would have a very favourable opinion of Colligo.

Bucky's gone.

And Coulson too.

I'm not sure who else had realized, but I figured someone should say.

And now they're both dead and

[There's metal clanging, growing further away from the PDA, and the soft thud then a click as doors are quietly shut. For a moment following, there's nothing but silence, then a low moaning sound can be heard in the distance. A young girl speaks, the words coming out a bit jumbled and almost muted sounding, as though she's trying to form them but her mouth won't quite cooperate with what she wants to say.]

'oogeymen no. G-G-Go away!

[A low rumble begins; small pebbles can be heard bouncing against the ground as everything begins to shake.]

No 'oogeymen. Not f-food.

[The rumbling increases, as does the inhuman groaning that is clearly zombies for anyone who has heard them before. There's the sound of something falling rapidly through the air followed by a loud splat followed by a quick series of them. The groaning stops and there is silence before the girl speaks again, this time in a tone that is much calmer.]

Better. Not 'ood. Better.

[There's a howling in the distance and the girl breathes a resigned sort of sigh.]

[For a few moments, there’s the sound of laughter, coupled with the occasional gurgling of a baby. If someone listens closely enough, they might also hear a soft roar of a baby raptor followed by the squawking of several indignant birds, a fluttering of wings, and even more giggles from children. Then the laughter tapers off as another sound can be heard, in the distance but clearly getting closer. It’s indistinguishable at first but, as it gets closer, it’s clearly slow shuffling of feet and a mindless groaning. After a second or two, Meri’s voice - in the loud sort of stage whisper that most children tend to manage when attempting to be quiet - can be heard, effectively drowning out the moaning for the moment as she’s much closer to the PDA. She doesn’t sound even the least bit frightened but rather intrigued and a touch confused.]

Uh, Jack? Did our folks pick up a couple of zombies while I was gone and just nobody told me? ‘Cause that’d be kind of awesome but you really should’ve told me we had zombies living in the alley behind the house now. It’s only fair.

( It takes a moment for Jack to respond to Meri’s question. You can’t really blame them, considering the fact that his sister just asked him if their parents picked up some zombies. Do people even do that? Just pick up zombies? What would they use zombies for? Really weird formerly alive decorations? Jack is quiet, considering the question, then he speaks. )

No. No, I don’t think they did. I think they’re just there. That’s...probably not a good thing. Do you think we should get mom and dad or just shoot them a lot. There’s not that many...we could probably take them out. We’ve been playing a lot of Left4Dead lately. ( a pause ) So we really don’t need to get mom and dad...right? ( What? Meri’s not the only one who can have a thirst for violence. )

[Meri doesn't immediately reply. Not because she's busy considering the ramifications of fighting zombies alongside her twin brother and not going to get their parents instead. No, she's instead simply taking a head count of the approaching horde, a fact made obvious by the deliberate counting under her breath before she finally responds aloud to Jack.]

No, we don't need to get them. There's only twelve, maybe thirteen if you count the one that's only got the one arm and is missing a foot. [a pause] And they're moving real slow. Really, really slow. And you never know. Maybe mom and dad got them for us so we could shoot them. That's something that could maybe happen, right? [a low whistle] There's a good boy, Chomper. You sit here with Gabi, okay?

[There's the sound of a shotgun being readied for use and Meri's tone turns positively gleeful.]

'Kay, ready!

( Jack is counting along with Meri, just in case she misses one, because it’s always good to double-check. After a minute he reaches the same number as hers, and he actually sounds fairly excited when he speaks. )

Well...it still has a face, so it can still bite you...so I guess it counts. It’s just a lot slower than the other ones, so we can save it for last. Because I don’t think mom and dad would let us keep it as a pet. ( a pause ) No, really, Meri. They won’t let us keep it. They really won’t. But I don’t think they got us zombies so we could shoot them. They’d have told us if they did that. Still, we can definitely shoot them and not get in trouble. Because they’re zombies.

( There’s another sound, not like a gun, but quieter, as he readies his crossbow. )

Me too!

[Meri sounds slightly disappointed, but only slightly.] Yeah, you're most likely right. We couldn't really take care of a pet zombie. Feeding him's out and not feeding him would make him even grosser than he is now. [a sigh] Oh well. I guess we'll just have to kill him too.

[There's a pause and Meri's tone turns a bit more serious, although she's clearly still super excited to be killing zombies.]

Okay. I'll shoot first, since that'll get their attention from the sound. Let's go before they walk really, really, really slowly away or we fall asleep watching them. [A shotgun blast is heard and there's a distinctive thud of a body falling to the ground.]

( Jack laughs ) Yeah...I’m pretty sure mom and dad would get pretty mad if they had to get us brains to feed him. And I don’t want him falling apart. We really oughta just kill him now. It’s really the nicer thing to do. Plus...more stuff to shoot.

( Jack’s quiet as he listens to Meri’s plan, taking a moment to think about it, then giving an assenting noise. )

Okay, that sounds like a good plan. You go first and then I’ll shoot them too and then we won’t have to watch them be all slow and embarrassing. ( after the shotgun blast, there’s a soft noise of a crossbow bolt flying through the air, followed by a second thud. ) You know...this isn’t as fun as Left4Dead. They’re...really slow. It’s not even hard.

[There’s another shotgun blast, another thud, and Meri sighs, clearly disappointed.] Yeah. This is dumb. It’s harder to shoot the squirrels and birds in the yard. [a pause] Not that I shoot the squirrels and birds in the yard. [another pause] Much.

[Meri waits for Jack to take his next shot, then sounds thoughtful.] Wanna get closer? At least if we’re closer, we can pretend they’re moving fast enough to get us and we’re just really, really good at shooting them first.

( There’s another two shots from the crossbow, followed by thuds, and punctuated by a snort of amusement from Jack ) Of course not. You definitely don’t shoot at animals in the yard. Never seen that happen. Not at all. Or not much, anyway.

( He sighs ) I guess we could do that. At least it’ll make this less boring. And maybe even a tiny bit dangerous. And we’ll still be able to kill them all without getting hurt or making mom and dad mad. Yeah...let’s do that. ( There’s the sound of movement. ) Do you think this is close enough?

[Meri settles in beside her brother and makes a thoughtful sound.] Hmm. Yeah. I guess this’ll work. We most likely shouldn’t get too far from Gabi and Chomper, just in case. [There are a few shotgun blasts, and the accompanying thuds, then Meri sighs.]

This is still real boring. I bet watching the news is less boring than this. [a pause] Do you think maybe they ate some folks at a bar and they’re drunk and that’s why they’re moving so slow? ‘Cause I don’t remember them moving so slow in movies or in games or none of that. It’s like they don’t even know how to run.

( Jack makes a sound of agreement ) You’re probably right. If we get too far away and Gabi gets eaten by zombies, we’ll probably get grounded. But Chomper would probably eat them first...except then he might get sick. So...yeah. This is probably best.

( There’s a few more shots and Jack echoes Meri’s sigh ) You know...seeing the really slow ones in real life...it’s really embarrassing that all those people die in zombie movies. ( There’s a few more shots from both of them ) Well...that’s all of them. Even the one without the foot. Want to go play Left4Dead and kill some hard zombies?

Is it too much to ask to get a break? I never thought that much craziness could happen within such a short time. And here I was, thinking I'd seen everything here, but I guess that wasn't true.

Well, it looks like I'm without a roommate once again. Captain Steve's doppelgänger is gone. I guess this means it's time to officially move on over to Stark Tower. I don't do well on my own. Plus, that's where my wacky Colligo family is.

Dying is stupid and that room I waited in was stupid and Asaph is stupid and the guards are stupid and the library is stupid and Lucifer is a big, mean stupidhead with a dumb face and it's cold and that's stupid and the locals that keep trying to take me to the police are stupid and the police are stupid and this whole thing was just so stupid and daddy, will you come get me now? I really want pie.

Oh! And I beat Left 4 Dead 2 about four times. Miss Emmy helped me once though. I guess that wasn't so stupid.

But I still really want pie.

Right. So, that was certainly something. Definitely don't want to go through that again.

And now, on a more personal note, Jack and Gabi are in their beds. Meri, on the other hand, is not. Dean, baby, where is our daughter? Please tell me she's, I don't know, asleep in the Impala or something.

Or, you know, if anyone else has seen her and could tell me where she is, that would be great too. Because I know that she wasn't the one that people were talking about being killed, because she's my child and that's just not even

Seriously. Someone tell me she's around. Please. Lie if you have to.

After much consideration, and careful experimentation, I can say for certain that I am most definitely outside my proper casing in what appears to be a permanent relocation.

This body functions quite like a human's, or so my data dictates, but I must admit that I am quite confused as to how I was placed within it.

Personal research has yielded no answers, so I suppose I am obliged to seek outside aide.

Mr. Stark? Dr. Banner? If you could be so kind as to assist me, I would be most grateful.

This is dumb. I don't know my last name or where my folks are or who they even are, or if I even have folks, or nothing. I can't even say I want to go home because I don't even know where home is!

You grown-ups need to figure something out and make this better. Because I said it before and I'll say it again. This. Is. DUMB.

This isn't New York...[ In her mind, Nat was right about to turn off the device allowing the Chitauri to come to Earth. None of this makes sense. ]

Unless someone has some reasonable answers to what is going on right now. I'll go by my assumptions of Selvig's back-up plan backfiring on me. I'd like some answers, but I doubt anyone has them. The people outside seemed to go in some conveniently timed stunned silence. [ But she'll try to get them to talked if it comes down to it. ]

You know, I honest to God thought they were bullshitting when they said joinin' the army would take you to places you ain't even heard of. Or allowed to talk about. Jesus...fu--is this one of those 'ask too many questions or we'll slice off your balls' sort of thing? Cos if so...just point me in the direction of where you guys want me to shoot some bad guys and we'll be golden.

[ A pause.

Longer than usual pause and then Kenneth coughs a little. ]

Where's Sargent Lyons? Does anyone know where I can report in?

Now not only do I currently have a ten year old Sirius, but a ten year old Jamie as well. I've never been more grateful that Sirius received a copy of the map, because when Sirius snuck out the other day it was all too easy to find out that he was with Jamie in the park. Otherwise I would have been a lot more worried then I was. I did wait a little while before I actually went down to find them, since they stayed in the park and I figured there was little trouble they could have gotten into there. Only now I'm not entirely sure how to keep them occupied; especially since I don't want to leave Tara in the lurch at the shop considering there are so few of us currently working at the Magic Shop and Jamie can't work at the moment.

Hey Annie, I think we're out of noodles.

Also, I think I may have travelled back in time. The fall lineup on the DVR is all wrong and I just saw a promo for "Arrow."

Well, that was something. I'm not entirely sure I enjoy remembering my youthful attitude more vividly than faded memories can serve. But it was enlightening, at least.

[ Filtered to Claire ]
Thank you. You needn't continue to make the endeavors you do for me, whatever state I am in, but I appreciate them all the same. Assure Dean I will be back to work first thing tomorrow.

[ Filtered to Barton ]
I presume we are never speaking of our conversation to anyone. Ever.

All the same, you didn't have to tolerate my curiosity like that, particularly given the way I decided to express it, much less... I suppose it was easier to be nice to me when I was technically wearing a different face.

I don't know who was stupid enough to kidnap me, but you're going to regret it.