( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

Just call me Joe. I kind of look like a Joe. I've got a bunch of stuff in my pockets from - it looks like a bar. Maybe I should go check it out.

I'm starving. I eat all the time but I'm always hungry. I don't get it. I also don't gain weight.

Would someone like to explain what the hell is going on? I have no idea whose freak show apartment this is, but there are bags of blood in the refrigerator. I'm really sure that I don't live in Little House of Horrors.

HELLO? IS ANYONE ALIVE OUT THERE? I WOKE UP HERE, ON SOME RANDOM STREET. THIS METAL THING THAT SEEMS TO BE MY ARM IS DAMN PAINFUL AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO DO.

HELP!

[ooc: Since Ed just arrived he still didn't know technology before this happened. Also this metal thing is him referring to his automail :) that he actually doesn't know what it is since he's new.]

(At first there is just unmistakable clinking of ice in a glass, and a drink being poured.)

Just when I was getting better when it comes to life here. Thanks, Morgan. Cheers, asshole.

(The ice clinks again, and nothing further)

Accidental Voice Post
(Elena ruffled the blankets as she woke up in the strange bed.)

What? Where am.. AH!

(Crashing sound as she falls off the bed.)

Lexi? You died. Am I seeing ghosts again or.....

(Lightly groans.)

Oh, no no. Damon said this hunter's curse was over now.

It occurred to me, that this was going on when I first got here and now, two years later, it's happening again. That time, I was paired with Sam, which was a lot better than Balthazar. My current "husband" is more on the Sam side than the Balthazar side, which I'm grateful for. That guy got on my last nerve.

I'm curious to know who Stefan got stuck with. It still amuses me that I met my last boyfriend because Stefan was married to him. I'm also extremely curious to find out who got stuck with Elijah.

Hilarious. I'm sure you're having a lot of laughs over this.

Now, switch me back to my correct gender.

Now what, Morgan?

I wanted Elena back. Just because they have the same syllable doesn't mean it works for me.

I'm sure to catch Hell for saying that.

I don't know the answer to half of these, but ( here )

I'm so glad all that's over and folks are starting to come back, even if I can't really wrap my head around people coming back from being dead. Then again, I've been having to wrap my head around a lot of stuff lately. Seems like there's a whole lot more to the world than I ever thought. Not sure how I feel about that, but I figure freaking out doesn't stop any of that stuff from existing, so I'm just choosing to go with it.

I know there's a lot of rebuilding to do, but I apparently got a little place for Christmas from Asaph. It's about perfect for a gumbo shack. I think I'm gonna open it up, like I did back home. If anyone needs a job, they're welcome to stop by. Roy Benny, you don't got a choice. I'm not losing my best worker.

I just know there's folks who are new and haven't managed to find work yet, and this might help them out.

I'm getting really tired of being attacked on the street by random robots and things. It looks like an attack of freaky chefs. What the Hell?

Lexi, where are you? Damon, Caroline, Bonnie? Is everyone safe?

I guess it is time to make holiday plans. I do wish Elena was still here. Lexi, I know you are going to tell me to stop moping, but it's Christmas.

I also like the snow, but I am not going skating.

I'm glad to be back to normal. I think I'll pass next time, even if I won't be so lucky.

[Private to Daryl]
Are you okay? It's not easy being me.

So. I'm a vampire. That's a thing now. First a werewolf. Now a vampire. I give it two months tops before I'm like...a zombie or a merman or something else equally ridiculous.

Not that werewolves are ridiculous. I'm from a town full of werewolves. Clearly they're not ridiculous. Or maybe my life is just ridiculous. On second thought, let's just go with that one.

Also, I am wired. Like...seriously. I feel like I took all of my Adderall, which is silly, because I didn't take any. I'm just feeling really, really twitchy. Is this a vampire thing?

Vampires of Colligo...or former vampires...or currently former vampires who will presumably be vampires again in a week or so...is this a vampire thing? Can you answer that? I'd really appreciate it. If it helps, I have a kind of girly ring and I'm pretty sure I accidentally mind-controlled a guy, so I'm 90% positive I'm a Vampire Diaries vampire.

Which means amplified personality and...seriously, Morgan Freeman? Seriously? You thought it was a good idea to make my neurotic tendencies that much more prevalent? Really?

Awesome. Just awesome.

Okay, so now that we've narrowed down a few of the temporary, newbie vamps, we're still missing a couple. So, raise your hand if you've suddenly got an insatiable hunger for blood and have either a really gawdy looking ring or a really pretty looking ring with a blue stone. Or even if you don't have a ring, but I think most of us have rings now.

all day all i see and smell is blood. whole stupid ass town's crawling with them. can't go nowhere or do nothing without wanting to rip least half a dozen people's throats out all at the same time.

screw you asaph. gone jam this ring right up your--

Not again.

{Private Damon, Lexi, Alaric}
Are you feeling ok today? I'm human again.

All this talk of those who have been returned to their own realities only serves as a reminder of how long it has been since my own family was here. That is not to say that I would necessarily wish them here. I know full well that they are not the best of people, but they are my family and I do miss them.

I cannot say that I am pleased with Elena's absence, but I can only hope she will be happier at home than she was here. I know that she was not especially content here.

( Filtered to Molly )

*scratchy handwriting*

Elena's gone.

I'm

hungry. I don't care. Just switch off.

[The PDA turns on, and Bonnie sounds a confused...and a bit annoyed.]

What the hell is this? Where am I?

[Bonnie notices, the guards, and makes her way towards them.]

Excuse me? Can you tell me where I am?

[The guards hand her phone, and Bonnie scoffs.]

...A phone? What's this for?

[The guards grab her, and Bonnie can be heard struggling.]

Hey! Put me down!

[She lets an "oof" sound as she's tossed out of the library.]

You could've at least told me where the hell I am- hey! Open this damn door and tell me what's going on right now!

[Bonnie mutters, as she turns around.]

...Guess I'm going to have to find out where I am on my own...not a problem. I just have no idea where the hell here is.

Forget Halloween parties. I just found out that on Halloween there is going to be a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show! Stefan, we are going and I won't take no for an answer. I think the last time we went to a midnight showing was sometime in the 90s. This is long overdue.

In fact, I think everyone should come. The more the merrier after all! I know that there's zombies and werewolves and all that not so fun stuff out there, but considering the fact that we're pretty much all vampires, I think we're more or less safe in a group.

So, in case anyone isn't sure, this invite goes out to Stefan, Elena, Caroline & Damon (if you guys can get a sitter), Connor, Jude, Ric, Jenna, Elijah and Abby and anyone else who wants to go. So, who's in?

( Alaric sounds shocked and confused )

What...what's going on?

I thought...

( a pause )

How am I...

( another pause )

This again? Well...I guess that explains it.

Does anyone remember things that they didn't remember before? I know what I did here, and yet there are things that happened at home that I know too.

( Damon )


ooc: Stefan is cacon bumped to the present TVD S3 E1. He still knows what he has done here, but the new memories are really confusing for him.

Since we are apparently not on our planet, what are we supposed to do here. Is it some weird kind of purgatory? Yeah, that was sarcasm, but I just don't understand the point to all of this.

Anyone up for a bonfire in the middle of the community shelter? It sounds fun.

Now seriously, who all is here?

Did anyone else happen to notice that there were two moons present last night? I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it makes me to wonder if we're somewhere other than Earth.

Wow 2012. That's a year I haven't thought about in... years.

How is everyone?

So, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I kinda love this one. I mean how cute is everyone as a kid? Yeah, I know everyone is confused and scared when this happens, but come on, how adorable is Daryl? The way I see this, no one has baby pictures or anything like that here and this gives us the chance to see what everyone looked like as kids or teenagers.

Asaph, can I make a request? Could you de-age Stefan, Damon and Elijah? I can't help but think that they had to have been extremely adorable ickle kiddies.

I forgot it was my birthday. Oops.

Willow's gone. I can't even see her, but I know she's gone.

Her clothes and her things are gone, and her name isn't on the door any more, but even if that didn't change, I'd just know.

I didn't even I wish I could have at least seen her before

Can someone please tell Buffy? She needs to know.

I miss her so much

And Loki too. Please.

I'm actually relieved to not be able to talk to anyone right now. I keep questioning if I did the right thing, and I don't know. I'm not happy, but I haven't been that for a long time. I guess I need time too.

People we know from home can't speak to us, but can they read what we said?

The hell is wrong with you people, lettin' yourself get pushed around? You've got people here, lookin' at you like playthings, jerkin' you around however they see fit, and you're just gonna sit back and take? Well, I ain't, so I'm gonna say this one, more, time.


I ain't lookin' to drag any of you into anything, but, the way I see it, we're all stuck. Ain't nobody leavin' unless the big man upstairs says so. Fine. Those are the rules that ain't gonna get broken. That don't mean you all gotta just sit back and play nice, sufferin' through whatever game he decides he wants to play and just hope it all gets better. That ain't the way it ought to be for anyone, an it's probably half the reason he does it as often as he does. Nobody say's nuthin'. Nobody does nothin'. Well, I ain't a man who's happy just sittin' around, twiddlin' his thumbs, waitin' for somethin' to happen.

I ain't askin', or lookin' for no help from nobody. I ain't tryin' to convince you I'm right. I ain't even gonna try and tell you to do anything but what you've been doin'. What I'm saying is this..I'm not gonna take this layin' down.

I ain't gonna sit here and see people hurtin', losin' their friends, losin' their whole lives. I'm not gonna sit back and just let him tie me to a string and jerk me around. He wants me to do somethin', well, I ain't exactly gonna make it easy for him, and if you all wanna sit back an avoid me, and the issue? Fine. I ain't fixin' to drag you into a place you don't wanna be. That ain't my intent.

You sick and tired of it though and you want a chance to say so? You show up, and we'll get it done.

Downtown. Tomorrow. This is me, callin' both of you out. You wanna sit up on high and play games? Well, maybe you should take a good, hard, look at jus' what it is you're doin' to people and, if you don't show? Well, everybody's gonna see jus' what kinda Gods you really are.

( Illyria sounds pissed off )

How dare he! How dare this Asaph strike at me in this manner!

( a wordless, enraged sound )

How dare he push me aside and let that fragile mortal shell reassert itself even temporarily.

It is an outrage! It is insolence in its purest form.

I will rip apart this so-called god should I ever see him.

I feel like myself again. Hunger and all. That was an interesting couple of weeks. Looks like I have a lot of things to take care of.

( Elena )

( Caroline )

( Lexi )

( when the PDA turns on, Illyria sounds annoyed )

You mock me. You are not worthy to even speak to me, and yet you mock me. You. A wretched, filthy half-breed who reeks of humanity. In my time you would have been strung up and ripped apart...but slowly, so that you could feel every second of agony that your insolence had wrought.

( a pause )

I could show you if you like.

[ there’s a lengthy silence before Damon can be heard laughing ]

Wow. Just...wow. Do you give speeches like that to everyone who talks back to you because that must get exhausting? Or is that just the tough talk to go along with your outfit?

[ the smirk can practically be heard in his tone ]

Just move on, princess. This wretched, unworthy half-breed has better things to do than listen to you spout off about your superiority.

( a frustrated scoffing sound )

You mortals with your quips. You hide your weakness behind clever words and you think they protect you. You are but a fool. One might think that to still your tongue would be to kill you. Perhaps we should test that.

( there is a hint of something dangerous as she continues )

You have been given far too much leeway. You truly believe that you cannot be harmed. That you can say what you wish with no consequence. It is the worst sort of arrogance, unmerited as it is. It is only right that I correct your error of judgment.

One more word and I will rip out your tongue and feed it back to you. Then we will see how clever you are, vampire.

[ Damon snorts in amusement ]

That sounds like a lot of work. Wouldn’t you rather just go get a latte? Or head to the salon? The blue’s an interesting choice, but it’s not one I would have gone with. It doesn’t really scream ‘All Powerful Deity’ if you get what I me-

[ sudden strangled noise as Damon’s voice cuts off mid word ]

( Illyria sounds smug, her words punctuated by the sound of bones cracking as she continues to squeeze Damon’s throat )

I grow weary of you. You talk and you talk and yet you say nothing of any worth. This is preferable.

( a strange, wet sound as Damon’s heart is forcibly removed from his chest )

Not the tongue, but quite enjoyable nonetheless.

Ever since Bonnie did that spell, I have had this huge craving for bacon and eggs, like all day. I think I have gained about ten pounds. I also can't run as fast as I used to, which sucks, but I love being hot and cold again. The only problem is pain.

No more Bloody Mary's either.


ooc: Here is AU Stefan! He was very deep into his latest addiction when Bonnie got an idea. She researched a spell and turned him human. He is still adjusting.

So, if someone could explain exactly what's going on, that'd be swell. I mean this is obviously not Prague or Mystic Falls and I'm pretty sure I'm not being held prisoner, so what's the deal? As nice as this apartment is, I really can't afford to hang around one place for too long. And is that a Mogwai? Okay, did someone drug me or something? Someone had better start talking.

[Meet AU!Lexi, who instead of being killed by Damon in 162 Candles, accidently killed him while defending herself, which exposed herself and Stefan.]

Jeremy's gone.

Whatever is going on here - I am fine and sane. I want to help if there is anything that needs to be done. I don't know if that gas affects me the way it does others, but I haven't suffered any effects of it so I am assuming not.

Christmas in July is fun, but I'm ready to go back to summer. I don't really ask for gifts, so I hope everyone got what they wanted.

I've been reading about myself on the computer. I don't know if that's the best idea. Some of it's good, and some I can't even talk about.

I just realized that I've been here just over a year. A year, and I don't have anything to show for it except a job that I actually like. I don't really get it, why I'm still here. Clearly I'm super boring. I haven't been heartbroken, and I haven't had anything majorly angsty happen to me. So what gives? Why am I still here? I wish there were guidelines for this sort of thing, y'know?

Not that I'm all that eager to go back, but at least there I had a purpose. I'm a Slayer, I should have purpose.

In other news, I got stopped on the street and asked if I wanted to work at the strip club. So that's always nice. Happy almost anniversary to me.

What is everyone else up to?

( That Took Longer Than I Thought )

I need to get out of this room. I wish I was working tonight. Who wants to go out?

( okay, I guess I'll do this one. )

Elena
Would you like to go out with me tomorrow for the day? I think we really need to talk, and there is a lot I need to say to you.

Lexi
What are you doing tonight? I need some bestie advice, even if that makes me sound like the girls. I think I have control of that little monkey, and I need to talk to Elena. You saw what Elijah sent to her. That was a disgusting mess. I am not buying all that nobility. I just don't know how to make her see how sorry I am for everything. I also don't know how or why she should forgive me, even if I want her to. I don't deserve it.

Okay, I can't sit in this house one more minute. It's driving me stir crazy. And stir crazy makes me want to bite people. I just want to go back to normal. I can do that right? Normal? Normal's good.

I need a distraction. One that doesn't involve sitting around and doing things indoors. I need outdoors. Or at least some variation of that.

I can't believe this. I never thought it would happen. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought I could protect her.

I guess I can do this.

( Stefan's answers )

Got some time between shifts and figured why not.

( Matt's Answers )

I guess this is a good way to pass a lunch break.

( Stuff about me. )

Ric's gone. I went back home and all of his stuff is just.. gone. </s>And he's back to being that... thing. Or dead.</s>

Guess I'm living by myself.

And apparently I can't lie at the moment. Great.