[As the PDA turns on there is what sounds like a sharp intake of breath and a soft groan. Both sounds are slightly muffled as if the PDA is in a pocket. There is a moment or two of silence followed by a bit of rustling.]What the...oh yes, of course.
[Remus' voice is hoarse from sleep. There is a bit more rustling and the creaking of an armchair before footsteps are heard.] I suppose I should alert Sirius.
[A door opens, followed by more footsteps]Sirius, I know you detest waking up before the sun, but this is a very good reason to.
[A scuffle. The sound of a small person standing on a piece of furniture, and then a loud, slightly excited young voice]Are you the kidnapper??
[Remus sighs] Bloody hell. Of course this would happen now.
Sirius, I can assure you that I am not, nor have I ever been, a kidnapper.
[A pause followed by hesitant footsteps] How old are you, Sirius?
Ten. [Said in the petulant tone only a child can manage.] Why am I here then, if you’re not a kidnapper?
[Brief pause, then a note of worry starts to creep in.] …Where’s my brother?
[Remus' voice is low as if he's talking to himself] Then you haven't been to Hogwarts yet.
[the next time he speaks it's towards Sirius]Sirius, my name is Remus Lupin and I'll be looking after you for a little while. I promise that you're perfectly safe and Regulus is safe as well, but he's not here at the moment.
[A long pause. Sirius does not approve of this plan]I want to go home.
And you will, but at the moment I'm afraid that's not possible.
[There's a short pause as Remus attempts to figure out what to do] Just know that I won't allow anything to happen to you while you're here. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm also a Wizard.
[A dull thud as a small boy jumps from a piece of furniture to the floor]Course you are. Otherwise you wouldn’t have got into my house to take me.
… This is stupid. I’m going home.
[Angry footsteps][Remus sighs]Sirius, I can't allow you to leave. It isn't safe to go out on your own. We aren't exactly in England at the moment. This is another planet called Colligo.
[You can pretty much hear the ‘don’t be stupid’ look Sirius is giving Remus.]… Are you mental?
[Remus sounds somewhat amused]I assure you, Sirius, I am quite sane.
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