( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

Well...this could totally suck more. I could be paired with sourwolf or creepy uncle badtouch But it's still weird being stuck with someone who looks exactly like my best friend's sorta-ex-girlfriend.

It's definitely nice to have a break from the Creepiest Roommate Ever™. I mean, I feel bad for the professor being stuck with the guy, but it's still awesome to not have him acting like a creeper 24/7.

Hey, Bonnie. Want to work on some inventory with me at the shop? And by inventory, I mean practicing spells. I'm really starting to get the hang of this stuff.

Of fucking course.

[ there's a long silence, the audio obviously having started long before someone decided to start speaking. the clanging sound of the knights come onto the scene can be distinctly heard before the voice finally speaks up. ]

You're kidding, right? I would think whoever could manage to bring me here before I even realized I was gone could manage more threatening lackeys. [ pause ] All right, Tweedledee, Tweedledum, what is it you're here to tell me?

[ metal clangs again, accompanied by an irritated exclamation ] Hey! If you wanted me to leave, you could have just asked. I see the door. I'll show myself out, then?

[ another clang ] Yeah. I can find a phone myself, thanks. [ more clangs as the knights advance ] Fine. Fine. I'll take it. You know, it would be a lot easier if you guys could verbalize.

[ the sound of footsteps and the doors closing shut with a dull thud ] And this is definitely not California.

Peter is gone. So is Max.

And Haymitch.

This...really sucks.

I think I'm going to go hunting.

Well, this is new and different.

Derek? Where the hell are you? I thought we agreed that there weren't going to be any more impromptu pack field trips trips without telling me first. And seriously, if you're going to do this kind of crap to me, you could at least include the rest of the Island of Misfit Toys. They're going to get jealous and think you like me best. And let's be fair here, you probably do, since I'm the only one who isn't a moron. I mean seriously...does subtlety mean nothing to them? But they don't need to know that.

Worst. Alpha. Ever.

( OOC: Meet Stiles, who was bitten in the pilot episode instead of Scott. He's a werewolf. And a much more competent one than Scott.)

Okay...another creepy hallucination. Great. Fun. Absolutely what I needed. What does this one represent? My inner torment over that library book I never took back?

( a pause )

At least there's less yelling and throwing of things at my head...which is good. But still. Could totally do without the seeing weird things. Whatever trippy roofies Lydia put in the punch, she probably could have held back on those. Totally need to talk to her about NOT DRUGGING HER FRIENDS. Not cool, Lydia. Not. Cool.

( another pause and then a sort of verbal equivalent of a flail )

HOLY...JESUS CHRIST! That's...there's...those are some big suits of armor. Why am I hallucinating big suits of armor? At least the last one made sense...in an awful, awful sort of way. ( a pause ) Woah! Woah there. Back up. Just...back up...and...okay, totally the opposite of backing up. That is not...can you maybe not...just put me down, okay? This is not cool. At least buy me dinner first. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm not any kind of girl. Not that I'm implying that only girls...oh, thank god Lydia and Allison aren't here right now or they'd probably murder me...they aren't here, right? But could you put me down? Maybe.

( a thump )

Jeez! I didn't mean to drop me! ( a pause ) Wait. I felt that. Which means this isn't a hallucination. There's actually suits of armor and...snow...and okay, I'm from California. This is officially too cold. Why is there snow? Why are there suits of armor? Why is there...a smartphone? Okay, smartphones aren't actually creepy. But the rest of it...is this some creepy argent plot? Or a werewolf plot? Or a...I bet Matt did this. With his creepy Kanima controlling doom powers. Yeah, that's probably it.

( a pause )

Or...oh god! Am I dead? Is this what being dead is? You wake up in a weird library with suits of armor and get tossed in the snow with a phone...

( another pause )

...that's totally broadcasting.

( another pause )

Hello? Hi...hello? Is...anyone there? I totally didn't mean that thing about werewolves earlier. Because obviously werewolves don't exist. I was just babbling. I do that. A lot. Kind of like now.

Can anyone tell me what's going on? Or...help me find a coat? Because it's really cold...

You know, I would like snow. If it wasn't white. Which is the same color as some bunnies. Damn bunnies. Which means they can totally blend in and pop out of NOWHERE while I'm out walking.

So yeah. Take this as a warning to beware of camouflage bunnies while you're out having your snowball fights and building snowmen. They are EVIL tricky little furry things. That will eat the carrot noses of snowmen, giving them all sorts of snowmen nasal problems.

Is anyone desperately attached to the L on the Library?

I've been thinking and I've come to the conclusion that this all really sucks. I mean first there was Bella who didn't want anything to do with any of us and then Asaph sent her back and brought the right Bella here, but sent Alice home. Then instead of just letting us be happy, he sends Edward, Bella and Emmett back. He didn't send back one, but two of my best friends. It's not that I don't consider Edward my friend, but over the last few years, it's been Bella and Emmett that I've been closer to. Hell, they're not just friends, but family. Now it's just me, Nessie, Jasper and Rosalie left and I don't know what I'd do if he sent Nessie back. I already lost her once when she got killed; I can't lose her again. I won't lose her again. I refuse to let it happen.

Since this thing won't go away otherwise.

( Derek's Answers )

Why not

( Have I done two or three of these now? )

I am so glad to be a werewolf again. It's been like living in a fog with all my senses blunted.

I really hated all of it and am so glad it's over.

OK very funny. Give me back my wolf now.

I guess since it looks like I'm stuck here I might as well look for a job.

I have to say I keep finding this place more and more annoying.

Seriously what is up with this place?

Let go of me.[The sounds of Derek struggling against the knights]

I said let go of me.[Derek growls angrily before partially transforming and breaking free. He then runs heading for the doors before roughly pushing them open.]

What the hell where am I?