( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

Dear Morgan Freeman,

Any chance you've got a minute? I want to talk to you about something. I'm sure you already know what it's about, because you're awesome like that, but give a girl a chance to plead the case first? I'll even buy the ice cream next time! :)

♥
Parker

P.S. Since I'm too lazy to write up a filter... YO! DAMON! I have another list of names for you.

[ooc: takes place an hour or so after this]

Tags: damon salvatore, hal yorke, parker

Feb. 21st, 2013

diariste

Accidental Voice Post
(Elena ruffled the blankets as she woke up in the strange bed.)

What? Where am.. AH!

(Crashing sound as she falls off the bed.)

Lexi? You died. Am I seeing ghosts again or.....

(Lightly groans.)

Oh, no no. Damon said this hunter's curse was over now.

Tags: alaric saltzman, bonnie bennett, caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, elena gilbert, elijah mikaelson, lexi branson, rebekah mikaelson, stefan salvatore

Feb. 20th, 2013

felinefatale

Greeeat. Fall asleep with one stranger turned fake spouse, wake up with a totally different one. Like the first one wasn't enough?

At least my own kid hasn't changed up. The bonus "kid" is gone.

Tags: damon salvatore, selina kyle

Feb. 15th, 2013

itsnotinme

We're doing this again? Could we not?

No offense to the blonde I've been paired to, but you're not my blonde.

Speaking of, Caroline, you've got Emma, right? What giant asshat did you get stuck with?

Tags: audrey parker, caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, lexi branson

Feb. 6th, 2013

ripyouapart

Hilarious. I'm sure you're having a lot of laughs over this.

Now, switch me back to my correct gender.

Tags: damon salvatore, lexi branson, molly suresh, rebekah mikaelson, stefan salvatore

Jan. 24th, 2013

Now what, Morgan?

I wanted Elena back. Just because they have the same syllable doesn't mean it works for me.

I'm sure to catch Hell for saying that.

Tags: damon salvatore, meg, rebekah mikaelson, stefan salvatore

Jan. 23rd, 2013

ripyouapart

Someone better tell me what the hell's going on right now.

Or heads will roll.

Tags: alaric saltzman, caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, elijah mikaelson, lexi branson, meg, rebekah mikaelson

Jan. 21st, 2013

fail!filter to Dean Winchester

I try very hard to do the right thing. I don't feed from good people and I never feed from non-locals. I don't make them suffer and I always kill them when I'm done. I help people when I can. Yes, I need blood to live but I don't think that makes me bad and I think there are other people here who would say the same thing about me. So I'm going to give you a little bit of advice because of what just happened to me when I went feeding tonight.

Do something about your father before someone else does.

Tags: abby, buffy summers, caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, dean winchester, elijah mikaelson, emma winchester, gabriel, jack winchester (oc), jesse winchester, john winchester, meg, ruby

Jan. 11th, 2013

amanofhisword

I find these to be somewhat amusing, if nothing else.

( Elijah's answers )

( Filtered to Damon )

Tags: damon salvatore, elijah mikaelson, lexi branson, molly suresh

These things are always interesting, at the very least.

( Abby's answers. )

Tags: abby, damon salvatore

Dec. 31st, 2012

Accidental Voice Post

[The PDA cuts on to the very obvious sounds of Daleks. Between their calls to EXTERMINATE and their weapons, it's difficult to pick up anything else, at first. Then, Parker's voice is heard, much closer to the PDA than the rest of the noise. Clearly, she is not happy.]

What? No! Shoo! Out of my casino, you creepy little things! Go on! Shoo!

[At first, it doesn't seem the Daleks have noticed her, but then a blast from one of their weapons is hear whizzing past. Parker sucks in a sharp breath.]

Okay. Close one. Definitely a close one. [pause] Oh. Crap. I forgot you guys could levitate or float and it's not like the rafters are exactly hidden from view. Bad Parker, for drawing attention to yourself. Bad!

[Her voice trails off as there's the sound of another weapons' blast whizzing past followed immediately by the sound of footsteps against metal, then a grate being opened. When she mutters to herself again, there's quite an echo around her.]

Stupid Daleks, coming into my casino, trying to exterminate my patrons. Ugh. Morgan Freeman, I'm officially mad at you, just so you know. Now I have to take action!

[The sound of another grate opening, then a keypad being pressed. For anyone familiar with the noise, the next to be heard is clearly that of money and other items being shoved into a bag. Parker draws in a breath just as there's a loud crash off in the distance.]

Okay. The safe's cleaned out. Guess it's time to call it a day. [a pause as there's the sound of buttons being pressed again] Good thing I sent everyone home and shut the doors yesterday, or this might get messy.

[The sound of a door opening followed immediately by a loud jolt of electricity. Parker giggles.]

Man, I love my taser-and-lightning gun!

[More footsteps, this time up some stairs, and suddenly there's the sound of wind whipping about. A heartbeat later, there are more laser sounds and the Daleks who are shouting EXTERMINATE are clearly getting closer.]

Really wish I had some awesome last words right now. I guess I should've worked on that.[a pause then, almost perkily] Oh well. Here goes nothing!

[There's a soft beep of a button being pressed and, an instant later, an enormous explosion that was probably heard/felt/spotted from most points in the city as the casino is now nothing more than a smoldering pile of rubble. After that, nothing but silence save for a few sirens randomly going off way in the distance.]

Tags: alaric saltzman, damon salvatore, jack harkness, justin taylor, parker, sherlock holmes

I'm getting really tired of being attacked on the street by random robots and things. It looks like an attack of freaky chefs. What the Hell?

Lexi, where are you? Damon, Caroline, Bonnie? Is everyone safe?

Tags: claire winchester, damon salvatore, lexi branson, stefan salvatore

Dec. 12th, 2012

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas! Yay Christmas!

Oh, and snow. Yay snow too! Until it gets smushy and half melted and gross. I like it when it's white and fluffy still, though!

Now I'm going to head to the park to watch the reindeer play games. Who wants to go with me and cheer on Rudolph?

Tags: damon salvatore, parker

Dec. 6th, 2012

Well, that was fun while it lasted.

Tags: abby, damon salvatore

Nov. 22nd, 2012

rubber

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I have been cooking for days. Seriously. Days. I just love the holidays, and this is Emma's first Thanksgiving, so it's kind of a big deal to me. I really do. But I definitely forgot how exhausting being a human could be. Apparently I can't run myself off my feet like I used to.

Friends and family are all welcome to stop by. I know we've had some issues lately, but the holidays are about putting that aside. That said, if anyone causes any problems, I will remember. And then, when I'm a vampire again, I will rip your heart out and set you on fire. Okay? Good.

So, dinner will be starting at four. Don't worry, that's not a set time. I know people have a lot of places to be, so swing by whenever after that time.

( Molly )
I know you're worried about being around people, but I'd love for you to stop by. I even made a little tofurkey with vegan stuffing just in case. I really want to see you.

If Stefan does stop by, I'll make sure you guys either miss each other or that he behaves. If he doesn't, he can stay out of my house. You're my best friend and that's important to me. But if you don't feel like you can handle it, or you don't want to come, I understand. And if you want me to ask Stefan to stay away, I can do that. I'm worried about you. I can't even imagine how hard this is for you. I mean...you don't even eat meat.

Tags: bonnie bennett, caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, lexi branson, molly suresh

Nov. 17th, 2012

This is horrible! I normally don't complain about this kind of stuff very much, because Morgan Freeman rocks, but this is terrible, people! I can control people with my BRAIN! And I'm fast. And strong. And don't need my gear to get off a roof!

Ugh! THIS NEEDS TO BE OVER NOW!

Tags: damon salvatore, parker

I want a cheeseburger. I've never had one before. Oh! And a milkshake. I've never had one of those either. Does anybody know of a good place to get those things in the city?

Oh! And some Now & Later candy. I've had some of that before but it won't make me sick now, so I think I want some again. I don't need help finding that, though. Just the cheeseburger and milkshake.

Tags: abby, benny lafitte, damon salvatore, lexi branson

Not again.

{Private Damon, Lexi, Alaric}
Are you feeling ok today? I'm human again.

Tags: damon salvatore, lexi branson, stefan salvatore

Nov. 13th, 2012

amanofhisword

All this talk of those who have been returned to their own realities only serves as a reminder of how long it has been since my own family was here. That is not to say that I would necessarily wish them here. I know full well that they are not the best of people, but they are my family and I do miss them.

I cannot say that I am pleased with Elena's absence, but I can only hope she will be happier at home than she was here. I know that she was not especially content here.

( Filtered to Molly )

Tags: damon salvatore, elijah mikaelson, jenna sommers, lexi branson, molly suresh, stefan salvatore

Nov. 12th, 2012

judging_you

It occurs to me that if I'm going to be staying here for awhile, that I should find a job. And see about going to school.

Those are the two most important things I need to do right now. After that, I can focus on other things, like making this apartment a little less...drab. And getting some new clothes.

Tags: bonnie bennett, damon salvatore, lexi branson

thefirstavenger

Bucky's gone.

And Coulson too.

I'm not sure who else had realized, but I figured someone should say.

~~And now they're both dead and~~

Tags: canton everett delaware iii, clint barton, damon salvatore, darcy lewis, jude harvelle, lexi branson, loki laufeyson, peggy rogers, steve rogers, thor odinson, tony stark

Nov. 9th, 2012

*scratchy handwriting*

Elena's gone.

I'm

~~hungry. I don't care. Just switch off.~~

Tags: bonnie bennett, damon salvatore, jennsen, lexi branson, stefan salvatore

Oct. 29th, 2012

bubbly_vamp

Forget Halloween parties. I just found out that on Halloween there is going to be a midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show! Stefan, we are going and I won't take no for an answer. I think the last time we went to a midnight showing was sometime in the 90s. This is long overdue.

In fact, I think everyone should come. The more the merrier after all! I know that there's zombies and werewolves and all that not so fun stuff out there, but considering the fact that we're pretty much all vampires, I think we're more or less safe in a group.

So, in case anyone isn't sure, this invite goes out to Stefan, Elena, Caroline & Damon (if you guys can get a sitter), Connor, Jude, Ric, Jenna, Elijah and Abby and anyone else who wants to go. So, who's in?

Tags: abby, alaric saltzman, caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, elena gilbert, elijah mikaelson, jenna sommers, kristina snow, lexi branson, molly suresh, stefan salvatore

Oct. 23rd, 2012

thearchivist

( Voice Post )

( Alaric sounds shocked and confused )

What...what's going on?

I thought...

( a pause )

How am I...

( another pause )

This again? Well...I guess that explains it.

Tags: alaric saltzman, damon salvatore, jenna sommers, lexi branson, parker, stefan salvatore

Oct. 22nd, 2012

Does anyone remember things that they didn't remember before? I know what I did here, and yet there are things that happened at home that I know too.

( Damon )

ooc: Stefan is cacon bumped to the present TVD S3 E1. He still knows what he has done here, but the new memories are really confusing for him.

Tags: damon salvatore, rory williams, stefan salvatore

Oct. 13th, 2012

1ofthegoodguys

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm sick and bloody tired of sitting around, waiting for answers. So I'm going to go steal a car and blow this sodding popsicle stand. Wish I could say it's been fun but, no actually I don't.

Anyone else who wants to leave, you've got five minutes and it's first come first serve.

Tags: buffy summers, damon salvatore, isabel evans, kristina snow, rosemarie hathaway, spike

Oct. 11th, 2012

Since we are apparently not on our planet, what are we supposed to do here. Is it some weird kind of purgatory? Yeah, that was sarcasm, but I just don't understand the point to all of this.

Anyone up for a bonfire in the middle of the community shelter? It sounds fun.

Now seriously, who all is here?

Tags: damon salvatore, elena gilbert, kristina snow, lexi branson, melinda halliwell, stefan salvatore

Sep. 23rd, 2012

bubbly_vamp

So, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I kinda love this one. I mean how cute is everyone as a kid? Yeah, I know everyone is confused and scared when this happens, but come on, how adorable is Daryl? The way I see this, no one has baby pictures or anything like that here and this gives us the chance to see what everyone looked like as kids or teenagers.

Asaph, can I make a request? Could you de-age Stefan, Damon and Elijah? I can't help but think that they had to have been extremely adorable ickle kiddies.

Tags: caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, lexi branson, stefan salvatore

Sep. 10th, 2012

Accidentally Public!Post - Meant to be filtered to Damon

Hey! Psst. Damon! Stop brooding over not getting to see your wife and your kid and pay attention to me!

I have a new list of names for you of extra bad people. So now you can take alllllll of your frustrations toward Morgan Freeman out on them! And give some to Abby, so she doesn't starve, but that should really just be a given because letting her starve would be mean.

So just let me know when you want to meet up so I can give you the names. Because yes, I am just that awesome. :)

Tags: damon salvatore, parker

notsolittlerock

Morgan Freeman can just fuck off.

Tags: bucky barnes (mcu), damon salvatore, james howlett, jesse winchester, jude harvelle, loki laufeyson, noah bennet

canucklehead

Flitered away from Young Children

Now I get it.

To Freeman, and this hangover:

Go fuck yourself.

Tags: damon salvatore, emma winchester, james howlett, kristina snow

Sep. 6th, 2012

I never thought I'd be happy to not have Owen or Thomas here but, right now, I really am.

( Filtered to Damon & Caroline )

( Filtered to Elijah )

Tags: abby, damon salvatore, spike

notsolittlerock

~~And suddenly, I'm so glad nobody from home is here~~ ~~So not saying that in public~~

I am so going to have to rework this schedule so that none of you Mystic Falls folks are sharing shifts. That's too much of a headache to even think about.

~~And because I'm supposed to be nice or Molly will make her Disapproving Face™~~ I guess if anyone has people they need checked on, I can do that.

( Bucky )
How are you holding up?

( Molly )
You okay? People aren't taking too much advantage are they? Because I'll totally cut someone.

Tags: bucky barnes (mcu), damon salvatore, jude harvelle, lexi branson, loki laufeyson

Aug. 31st, 2012

itsnotinme

Okay. Since I seem to have lost almost a week, I'm guessing that wasn't just a very bad dream.

[ filtered to Caroline ]
So. How much trouble am I in?

Tags: caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, elena gilbert, lexi branson

Aug. 25th, 2012

godking

( Accidental Voice Post )

( when the PDA turns on, Illyria sounds annoyed )

You mock me. You are not worthy to even speak to me, and yet you mock me. You. A wretched, filthy half-breed who reeks of humanity. In my time you would have been strung up and ripped apart...but slowly, so that you could feel every second of agony that your insolence had wrought.

( a pause )

I could show you if you like.

[ there’s a lengthy silence before Damon can be heard laughing ]

Wow. Just...wow. Do you give speeches like that to everyone who talks back to you because that must get exhausting? Or is that just the tough talk to go along with your outfit?

[ the smirk can practically be heard in his tone ]

Just move on, princess. This wretched, unworthy half-breed has better things to do than listen to you spout off about your superiority.

( a frustrated scoffing sound )

You mortals with your quips. You hide your weakness behind clever words and you think they protect you. You are but a fool. One might think that to still your tongue would be to kill you. Perhaps we should test that.

( there is a hint of something dangerous as she continues )

You have been given far too much leeway. You truly believe that you cannot be harmed. That you can say what you wish with no consequence. It is the worst sort of arrogance, unmerited as it is. It is only right that I correct your error of judgment.

One more word and I will rip out your tongue and feed it back to you. Then we will see how clever you are, vampire.

[ Damon snorts in amusement ]

That sounds like a lot of work. Wouldn’t you rather just go get a latte? Or head to the salon? The blue’s an interesting choice, but it’s not one I would have gone with. It doesn’t really scream ‘All Powerful Deity’ if you get what I me-

[ sudden strangled noise as Damon’s voice cuts off mid word ]

( Illyria sounds smug, her words punctuated by the sound of bones cracking as she continues to squeeze Damon’s throat )

I grow weary of you. You talk and you talk and yet you say nothing of any worth. This is preferable.

( a strange, wet sound as Damon’s heart is forcibly removed from his chest )

Not the tongue, but quite enjoyable nonetheless.

Tags: caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, elena gilbert, illyria, lexi branson, loki laufeyson, stefan salvatore

Aug. 24th, 2012

godking

( Accidental Voice Post )

( the sounds of a struggle )

Unhand me. ( more struggling ) Unhand me! ( a loud crash of metal, then spoken loudly, in an offended tone ) You think your metal soldiers can harm me? Your arrogance would be amusing, were it not so insulting!

( the sound of the doors to the library opening )

This is wrong...this place is wrong.

( shouted, though not at the PDA )

What is the meaning of this? What fool dares to play at imprisoning me? Such offense will not be tolerated.

I will tear out your entrails and feed them back into your mewling mouths until you choke.

Tags: claude crane, cordelia chase, damon salvatore, erik lehnsherr, illyria, loki laufeyson, spike

Aug. 23rd, 2012

humanmapquest

Right. Apparently, I've somehow replaced another version of myself in this particular version of the city that everyone loves to hate. Good to know.

Anyone who is friends with "this" Colligo's Molly, she's not in right now. So sorry to disappoint. Better luck next time.

[Koschei]
So. Lucifer is apparently dead, as is Meg, and I don't even want to think about what in the hell is wrong with Loki right now. At this point? You better still be here. And you better still be you. That's all I have to say on this subject, until I receive an answer.

[ooc: meet an au!molly walker (not suresh, as she was never adopted by mohinder). she's a villain. a very sneaky, very dangerous, villain. be afraid. be very afraid. :P]

Tags: claude crane, damon salvatore, james sirius potter, molly suresh, the master

Aug. 20th, 2012

bubbly_vamp

So, if someone could explain exactly what's going on, that'd be swell. I mean this is obviously not Prague or Mystic Falls and I'm pretty sure I'm not being held prisoner, so what's the deal? As nice as this apartment is, I really can't afford to hang around one place for too long. And is that a Mogwai? Okay, did someone drug me or something? Someone had better start talking.

[Meet AU!Lexi, who instead of being killed by Damon in 162 Candles, accidently killed him while defending herself, which exposed herself and Stefan.]

Tags: caroline salvatore, connor temple, damon salvatore, elena gilbert, lexi branson, stefan salvatore

Aug. 12th, 2012

humanmapquest

Accidental Voice Post

[There's the tell-tale sounds of a TARDIS in the background, faint but certainly noticeable if anyone is either accustomed to hearing it/might recognize it easily, followed by a sharp intake of breath. The sounds begin to take on a slightly different pitch, before Molly's voice - slightly confused but still relaxed - comes over the line.]

Well. This is [a pause] different. Hello, Lo. I have to admit, this is probably the last place I expected to find myself.

[Footsteps can be heard, slightly muffled as though the PDA is brushing up against fabric of some sort. There's the whoosh of a door sliding opened and Molly's smile is all but audible as she speaks again.]

Thank you. Now, if you don't mind, would you please point me in the direction of the Master? Something tells me that he wouldn't appreciate my snooping around without at least letting him know that I'm back, first.

[There are some more sounds and, in the distance, another door sliding opened. Footsteps follow. Molly's voice drops a little, as though she's speaking more to herself than to the TARDIS now. Not that it matters because, hello, TARDIS, but yes.]

So, let's see. Based on how fast my reaction took place from the time I removed my mask until the time I collapsed, I'm guessing [another pause] dopamine. The toxin must have contained dopamine. Along with some sort of amphetamine, too, most likely. [Her voice raises slightly again - clearly, she's once more speaking to the TARDIS.]

I'm right, aren't I? [A few more sounds, in varying pitches.] I thought so. Thank you again, Lo. Now. Left or right?

Tags: caroline salvatore, damon salvatore, elena gilbert, hank mccoy, james sirius potter, jeremiah crane (oc), jude harvelle, molly suresh, spike, the doctor (11)

Jul. 28th, 2012

goingonfacebook

Accidental Voice Post

[As the PDA switches on it's clear that a shower is running and music is playing somewhere in the background. When she current song ends, The Spice Girls' Wannabe starts playing. When the chorus starts up, Darcy's voice joins in and it sounds like she's dancing in the shower as well.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends! Make it last forever friendship never eeeeeends! If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give. Taking is too easy, but that's the way it iiiiiis!!

[She continues singing along, but not as loud after this.]

Tags: damon salvatore, darcy lewis, enigma, faith lehane, jason todd, loki laufeyson

Jul. 20th, 2012

neverwantedthis

So I guess, since I'm going to be stuck here a while, I should find a job of some kind. That money I got when I showed up won't last long.

Anybody out there hiring? I've only ever really been a waitress before and that didn't end so great, but I'm a pretty quick study and a hard worker.

Tags: charlie, damon salvatore

Jul. 3rd, 2012

Crowley's gone. I went into his office and he's not there. And none of his stuff is there. And texting him didn't work. And now I'll never see him again unless Morgan Freeman brings him back because I'm not from his stupid reality.

And Dean is gone too. Not Claire's Dean. Mine and Cas'.

I hate this. I don't want to like people. They just leave, they always leave, and being sad sucks. :(

Tags: aziraphale, castiel (end!verse), clint barton, damon salvatore, jack winchester (oc), jo harvelle-wuornos, jude harvelle, justin taylor, loki laufeyson, nathan ford, nathan wuornos, parker

Jun. 30th, 2012

icankickyourass

What. The. Fuck.

Tags: damian wayne, damon salvatore, faith lehane, mindy macready, owen harper, tony stark

Jun. 28th, 2012