( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

I really hope that Freeman spars me. I love women, but I think it'd be pretty damn weird to see myself as one. Besides, I'd probably just embarrass everyone else, because I'd be so damn hot.

Some homeless guy asked me for money today. I told him that if he wanted money so badly, he should get a job and not just expect to give him money. The nerve of some people.

Like I'd ever give away my money, anyway. Because that's what it is. MY MONEY. Not someone else'. MINE.

So...that was a thing that happened.

( River )
Sorry about that.

( Phil )
So...I think maybe I owe you an apology. And a drink.

Also, I hope you know you cockblocked me. I was going to have awesome resurrection sex, and then Canton had to go and make me worried about you.

( Natasha )
Ty v poryadke?

( Bruce )
You were fun company in the boring as fuck death room, Freckles.

( Avengers )
So...I guess I should apologize for River going off on you all.

To clear some things up, no I don't think I'm not really part of the team, no I don't think you guys should have backed me up, and it's nobody's fault that I had a slight case of death. Seriously, you guys couldn't have changed what happened. So, let's just hang out and be awesome.

So I'm just going to go ahead and throw this out there. If anybody finds themselves out and about, anywhere near the Roadhouse (that's [address] for those who don't know), and you need supplies or just a place to stay and rest for a while, feel free to stop on by. We've managed to keep the place invasion-free since this all started and I don't see that changing any time soon.

Also, if anybody's wanting to see a bit of action without putting themselves on the streets in the thick of things, just let me know. We've got folks posted on the roof and around the perimeter, on two hour shifts, as well as hot meals and a bed to lay your head when you need it.

Finding David's sword under the Christmas tree this morning was a nice surprise.

I miss him. And Henry. This place is crazy, and right now definitely isn't the best time for new people to show up, seeing as we have an invasion going on, but it'd be nice for Mary Margaret to have David around. I miss him and my son, but I wouldn't really want them showing up during all of this.

All right, everyone!

Do not panic. Or...I suppose you could panic if you want. It's not as if I could stop you. But really, it won't help. Probably. I guess it might. But that's highly unlikely, so I strongly suggest not panicking.

There are several things here that most likely want us all dead, but that's just Christmas for you. Admittedly, Christmas has never been quite this bad, but you lot deal with this sort of thing all the time. I'm sure it will be fine.

A bit of advice.

There are Silents. You won't remember them if you look away, so if you see one, find a way to remind yourself. Tally marks work. Recording notes to yourself. That sort of thing.

The statues are very dangerous. Don't take your eyes off of them. Don't blink. If you blink, you're dead.

The Daleks and the Cybermen are the same if you're looking at them or not, but that doesn't mean they're not just as bad. Be very careful and do not get shot. Or converted. Those are both bad things.

We will get through this. I know we will. Good luck and keep safe. And merry Christmas.

( Filtered to River Song )
And you said I didn't get you anything good for Christmas.

Not sure if this counts as the weirdest thing that happened to me. Is this where I go when Or if this is just another weird Haven thing like the mystery coma or the people in snow globes. Does anyone know how to get back? Or how I got here? Or maybe where this is? At this point, I'll take anything I can get.

There's a fuzzy green guy downtime dressed up as Santa trying to steal Christmas decorations from the stores, with his dog, who he's got dressed like a reindeer. I tried to arrest him, but he got away.

Oh my God, oh my God what's happened I don't even know I think I'm going to be sick I don't understand people were explaining all these things to me and I'm I can't.

I can't.

This has been just absolutely impossible all of it. I might be sick. I'm going to be sick, I think. I---I just want to go home. Is this--can anyone read this? Hello? HELLO?

Oh God, please someone -- can anyone just-just help me understand what's going on?

Well, since this gash in my arm hasn't healed yet and it's beginning to really hurt like a bitch, I'm going to assume that we're all back to the way we were before. Looks like I'll be swinging by the Clinic for some stitches after I drop this idiot off at the station. Have to make a mental note to be more vigilant again when fighting crime. I kind of got used to the whole healing right away with no pain thing that I'm afraid I got a little careless over the last two weeks. Ollie would probably kick my ass if he knew that.

Something is wrong. I want to hurt I am having urges that I shouldn't be. I haven't figured out what I got saddled with, if anything, but I am starting to feel as though it may be more complicated than most.

Well, that answers that.

It's good to be back.

Anybody miss me?

Did Jo ever

...If the enchanted forest and Neverland are actually real places, I guess I shouldn't be so surprised that this place really is real, and not just some sleep-deprived dream.

Looks like I'm going to be here for awhile, then. First things first. Stopping by the police station and seeing about getting my job back. Boss, you still here? Roy? Ester? Anyone?

Okay, I'm just going to come out and say it.

You guys think really loudly.

I don't need to know half that shit.

Also, I'm pretty sure I could kill you all with my brain.

Well...not you, Stark.

Also, I've never been happier that archery is not a superpower.

So I can be hurt, my daughter keeps falling through the furniture, and my husband is the new, albeit temporary, Satan.

That settles it. I'm getting drunk. Anyone want to join me?

Peggy, Sherlock, have either of you noticed anything weird going on at the Station? Because, I'm pretty damn sure that there's a poltergeist or something equally as pissed off and ghosty in my office. Now this might not be a huge deal if it weren't for the fact that I'm kind of stuck in my office, because said evil ghost pushed my desk up against the door and is keeping it there somehow so I can't move it. So, a little help would be great.

While on that subject, anyone know how to do an exorcism?

( Mycroft Holmes )

Dying is stupid and that room I waited in was stupid and Asaph is stupid and the guards are stupid and the library is stupid and Lucifer is a big, mean stupidhead with a dumb face and it's cold and that's stupid and the locals that keep trying to take me to the police are stupid and the police are stupid and this whole thing was just so stupid and daddy, will you come get me now? I really want pie.

Oh! And I beat Left 4 Dead 2 about four times. Miss Emmy helped me once though. I guess that wasn't so stupid.

But I still really want pie.

Well, now that we're all back to normal, there's something I've been meaning to say.

Jarvis, you are in big trouble, young man.

These little spoilers into the future are always interesting. In the year I've been here I've gotten a glimpse of three different futures. In two I was married and in one, I'm pretty sure, I was dating Veronica. She never said for sure, but she pretty much implied that we were together in some way in her future. Wonder what Doc Brown would think about all of this, considering he said it's never good for one to know too much about their own future.

Well, now that I'm the proper version of myself again, I guess it's time to jump into my new role as Chief of Police and spend a couple of hours down at the station going over the current cases.

Hey Annie, I think we're out of noodles.

Also, I think I may have travelled back in time. The fall lineup on the DVR is all wrong and I just saw a promo for "Arrow."

Wow, is it 25 years ago already?

I don't remember learning that time was cyclical in any of my physics classes. Shouldn't have had to pay for those degrees.

You'll have to forgive me if I don't remember which of you were still around at this particular point in time. I'm much too important to keep track of this shit myself. Has Star Trek 12 come out yet?

Asaph.

Make. Up. Your. Freaking. Mind.

Please.

( Filtered to Steve Rogers )

[ooc: so yes. once again, older!nonaged!claire has returned, mostly because ashe is a terrible person and decided to bring in older!nonaged!steve from the same reality as her and i just couldn't resist. have fun!]

Of all places, why return me here? There is nothing of interest in this particular year nor any happenings, save for the very end of it, to peek my curiosities. Why do you insist upon boring me, Asaph?

I suppose, at the very least, I can hold this over my brother's head. Hello, Mycroft. For once, I'm the eldest.

Irene, dear, will I have to find another place to stay for the time being, or will you be able to adjust to this?

Well, that was a suitably horrifying experience.

Thor, buddy. Two things.

1) It's just Clint. You seriously don't have to call me 'man with the eyes of a hawk'.

2) New Rule: You're not allowed anything. Ever. If you feel the urge to explain something? Don't.

( Bruce )
Hey, dad.

2012, huh? Something tells me it's going to go a little differently for me this time than it did the last time around.

Somebody remind me because it's been a while. Do I still just have the one video store, or have I opened the second one yet?

( Filtered to Dean )

[ooc: this is claire, who gave up her ability a few years down the road in a potential colligo future]

Does my older self have some sort of robot army? There are a lot of shiny metal guys in my lab. (It's possible that I shouldn't have said anything and you all know too much now. If so, please disregard this as a joke. Skynet probably isn't taking over.)

Also, I think my seventh grade science fair project just threw toast at me. Did he seriously keep DUM-E? How is he even compatible with this guy's systems?

2012 again, huh? Guess if I was gonna be sent back in time, Asaph could have chosen a worse time.

So lets, see, the middle of September in 2012....what was going on? Has my younger self announced being Chief of Police yet? If not then I just did it for him. Gonna have to go in tomorrow to check out what the open cases are right now and see which ones I can speed up. Is it cheating if I just tell everyone the outcomes?

...Hello? Helloooooooo? [ a pause, as someone wanders around Tony's floor of the tower, looking for some signs of life. ] Is anyone there? Hello? [ softer, now mumbling to himself as he wanders from room to room, keeping a stream of dialogue going to keep himself from getting nervous. ] Fuck, did I... pass out in someone else's house again? Christ, I thought I fell asleep in the MIT lab again. How do I have a hangover? Did someone put amphetamines in the coffee again?

Anybody home? [ Tony starts to sing the chorus of "Hello" by Lionel Richie to himself as he wanders from room to room ] Well, if I'm already in your house I might as well steal your food. Holy shit is that--- is that a television? Dorothy, we are not in Kansas anymore. Although that poster kind of looks dad... or some secret uncle I don't know about. Is this--- is that Howard and Maria? [ Tony continues to talk to himself in increasingly confused and slightly frantic tones before he comes to a sudden halt, and then laughs as if in sudden understanding. ]

[ louder, as if addressing some unseen figure ] AH, you had me going there for a second. RHODES, I'm a Ph.D student now. You don't have to haze me anymore. Not falling for it. Where the fuck are you, anyway? Whose house is this??

...Rhodey?

I never would have thought I could be this glad to see you weirdos.

Is everyone, you know. Here? And mostly in tact?

And by any chance... has anyone seen a guy wandering around who sounds like Paul Bettany?

Well, glad that's over.

Just one thing...

Stark, why the fuck is there a nest in my room in your magic treehouse?

( Coulson )

All right. I'm not sure this is solid evidence, but considering the name plate on Nathan's office just changed to say 'Roy Harper', I am guessing that Nate was sent back home.

I'm hoping those of you who considered him family can see this. I would hate to have it come as a massive shock once we're all able to see each other again.

( JARVIS's voice sounds strangely like Paul Bettany's, but with a hint of something mechanical to the words )

Mr. Stark? I apologize but I am quite confused. Is this something new you've come up with? I would have thought, given its significance to myself, that you would have made me aware of such a project?

( a pause )

Mr. Stark?

( another pause )

Sir?

The hell is wrong with you people, lettin' yourself get pushed around? You've got people here, lookin' at you like playthings, jerkin' you around however they see fit, and you're just gonna sit back and take? Well, I ain't, so I'm gonna say this one, more, time.


I ain't lookin' to drag any of you into anything, but, the way I see it, we're all stuck. Ain't nobody leavin' unless the big man upstairs says so. Fine. Those are the rules that ain't gonna get broken. That don't mean you all gotta just sit back and play nice, sufferin' through whatever game he decides he wants to play and just hope it all gets better. That ain't the way it ought to be for anyone, an it's probably half the reason he does it as often as he does. Nobody say's nuthin'. Nobody does nothin'. Well, I ain't a man who's happy just sittin' around, twiddlin' his thumbs, waitin' for somethin' to happen.

I ain't askin', or lookin' for no help from nobody. I ain't tryin' to convince you I'm right. I ain't even gonna try and tell you to do anything but what you've been doin'. What I'm saying is this..I'm not gonna take this layin' down.

I ain't gonna sit here and see people hurtin', losin' their friends, losin' their whole lives. I'm not gonna sit back and just let him tie me to a string and jerk me around. He wants me to do somethin', well, I ain't exactly gonna make it easy for him, and if you all wanna sit back an avoid me, and the issue? Fine. I ain't fixin' to drag you into a place you don't wanna be. That ain't my intent.

You sick and tired of it though and you want a chance to say so? You show up, and we'll get it done.

Downtown. Tomorrow. This is me, callin' both of you out. You wanna sit up on high and play games? Well, maybe you should take a good, hard, look at jus' what it is you're doin' to people and, if you don't show? Well, everybody's gonna see jus' what kinda Gods you really are.

Jo's gone. And not the way people can't see other people right now. She's just gone. All her stuff's gone and she's just gone. We were She was This is why I don't

I just thought people ought to know.

COMRADES! BE GLAD! FOR I AM USING THE DEVICE THAT THE SUITS OF ARMOR GAVE TO ME. THE TINY SYMBOLS ON THE BOARD OF KEYS ARE MOST DIFFICULT TO DISTINGUISH, AND THEY BECOME DAMAGED WITH LITTLE PROVOCATION. THE MAN OF IRON HAS REPAIRED IT FOR ME ONCE ALREADY, AND HAS ENABLED HIS COMPANION JARVIS TO TRANSCRIBE MY WORDS SO THAT I MIGHT LEAVE THE DEVICE UNDISTURBED. YET I ENDEAVOR TO ONE DAY USE THE BOARD OF KEYS FOR WRITTEN CORRESPONDENCE AS THE MIDGARDIANS DO!

PRAY, WHERE HAVE THE OTHERS GONE? THEY GAVE THEIR SACRED WORD THAT WE WOULD FEAST THIS EVENING.

Okay, this isn't funny. Where the hell did everyone go? JARVIS seems to think they're here, but he can't actually contact any of them. If he sent everyone back without me, there is going to be a fucking show down. I've battled gods before, and I will do it again.

I know I said that I needed a vacation from taking cases.

This wasn't what I had in mind.

Oh well, I'll guess I'll take it. Hello again, 2012.

[OOC: Meet older!Veronica from an alternate Colligo future (not the one that Jack, Meri, and Zoe are from, a different, less fucked-up one). Veronica is a PI who occasionally helps out the police department. She's also a brunette.]

Robert's gone. Somehow I knew it was too good to actually last. Clearly the Collector really does want me to be some old crazy, cat lady.

I give up on relationships. They hurt too much.

I'm not sure what happened here while I was away and I'm equally unsure if I want the specifics. If someone could just tell me if I still have something to worry about, and what that something might be in that particular instance, I would appreciate it.

[Veronica sounds confused at first]

What the...oh, wait. Now I remember this place. I thought it was all just some giant, whacked-out dream. Nope. No dream, just back in the lovely land Oz. Well...Oz without the Emerald City and minus the Yellow Brick Road. That would be Colligo, Oz's next door neighbor.

[The knights go to grab Veronica, and she can be heard dodging out of the way.]

Okay! No need to get all handsey with me, boys! I know the drill. I'll just see myself out, minus the manhandling thanks.

[She dashes to the door, slamming it behind her.]

Alright then, let's see where I'm staying this time...

[Veronica goes to grab her PDA.]

Ah, crap. I just voice posted to the entire city.

Okay, everyone keeps speculating, so why the fuck not.

A little friendly archery competition.

Tomorrow.

The park.

Yes, I know it's snowing, but if that's going to throw you off, you're not doing it right.

Anyone who wants in is welcome.

Betting is encouraged.

Know who would win Gold in archery hands down? Legolas.

Bet you all thought I'd say me. Hey, even I know that the elf is better than me. Too bad he's not here too. We could have a pretty badass archery club then.

So I'm watching the Olympics right now, because Morgan Freeman is sorta okay (still mad at him but I'll get over it, maybe) and he decided they would show up here like they are back home, and I have decided that clearly Clint needs to join the United States Archery Team. Mostly because a BLIND Korean is winning.

Just saying. No offence to Koreans or anything but GO TEAM U.S.A.!!!!!!!

( Might as well )

Fuck Fucking fuck Damn it

Nat's gone.

Like...her stuff's gone. And her name's not on the stupid nameplate by the door. And her phone's disconnected. So...yeah. She's gone. And I'm alone again. I can't I can't fucking deal with this right now

Thought you folks would want to know.

I've been staying with Babs for the last few days and I think it'd probably time that I go back to my place. I guess I kind of hit rock bottom last week when Helena was sent home and the last thing I wanted to do was have to walk by her apartment on my way to my own, but I know that I'll have to go back eventually and if I can live there after having Lian sent home twice, then I can go back even with Helena not there. I'd just like to know why everyone I'm friends with gets sent home. First my daughter, then Forge, Kate and now Helena. All I've got left is Babs, Steph and I guess Jason is on that short list too.

I should probably also go back to the park and see if I can find that one arrow that I lost when I thought drunken archery in the middle of the night was a good idea.

Fuck. Helena is gone. I'm going out to get drunk.

Right, so does anyone know where I can get a decent hair dye? My roots are showing.

Yesterday I snuck a couple of grapes to eat while I was at the grocery store.

I always wanted to be in a rock band.

Sometimes I like coffee so much, that I actually drink decaf just so I can have coffee late at night. Otherwise, it keeps me up. Though I don't get much sleep as it is.

I kind of miss being in my chair and going down skate ramps.

I really want to see Magic Mike, to see hot guys take their shirts off and strip. I wish it was in 3-D though. Does anyone want to go with me?

Hey Barton, how's the hand working out? We should meet up and conduct some more tests. (And there's the matter of that purple paint job you wanted.) How's it been responding? The way it's programmed, it should actually be pretty good with reflexes, but it may take a while to adjust to commands. (It's calibrated to a specific level of brain function. And well. We can't all be Tony Stark.)

Come by the lab. We'll set up an archery range outside. Maybe get Cap to bring his shield and come help with target practice. It'll be good exercise. If he's not still mad about the Toasteronies. (But come on, those didn't even sound real.)