( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

This place is unnatural. None of us should be here.

I don't know why I feel this way or know it to be absolute truth but that is most definitely how I feel.

[ooc: Aaaand Jade smashed the bauble attached to the necklace she wore, which gave her back her Grace and turned her into Amitiel, an Archangel. She still has no memories, just a different way of viewing/feelings/sensing things around her. Others are free to notice this change, if they'd like, or sense it for themselves if they're capable!]

[The PDA turns on to the sound of someone sucking in a sharp breath. The voice is clearly feminine, and obviously confused.]

Hello? Is anyone here? [footsteps] Hello? Eugene? Maximus? [a pause, the voice gets smaller sounding] Mother? [nearly a shout now] Hello?!

[scurrying sounds and the girl lets out a soft sigh]

Oh, good. Pascal. There you are. Now we just need to figure out where we are. [a pause, the sound of pages of a book being looked through] This is very strange. [another pause then she sounds a bit excited] Oh! The castle! Of course! We must be in some part of the castle! I guess I fell asleep and then we...

[Her voice trails off as the telltale sounds of the guards coming to life can be heard.]

Guards! Look, Pascal! Real, actual castle guards! Hello there! Would you help me, please? I seem to have lost my guide. [a pause] And my horse. [another pause] Well, he isn’t really my horse. But he’s a very nice horse and he was helping me and [her voice starts to sound panicked] wait. What are you doing? Don’t touch me! No!

[there’s the sound of a scuffle, then a loud twang of metal hitting metal; the woman’s voice next attempts to sound tough but definitely is lacking any real oomph behind it]

That’s right! I have a frying pan and I’m not afraid to use it again! Don’t you dare come any closer! Don’t you- [the struggling sounds increase, with the woman now grunting in frustration before speaking up once more about the time the doors can be heard opening]

Wait! Where are you taking me? No! I don’t want to leave! Please. I just want to-

[Her voice trails off as she’s dropped on the ground. A few seconds later, when she speaks, it’s obvious she’s much closer to the PDA than she was before.]

Is this a gift? Oh, and I don’t have anything for you! I’m very sorry. I [a pause] Wait! Where are you going? Wait! [the doors shut and the only sound that follows is tiny fists banging on the doors in an attempt to get them opened again]

[ A second PDA clicks into the conversation, the sound of the doors being closed shut echoing right along with it as Flynn glances around, a sudden squeak coming as he spots the knights, the sound of a back hitting a shelf of books proceeding a second voice ringing into the situation. ] Oh. Hey guys. Hey. I was just... All right. I’m not sure what I was just since I seem to have gotten lost or skipped some time somewhere, but I’m pretty sure I was not aiming to end up in here this time. I mean! At all. Not aiming to end up in here, at ALL. So I’m sure we can come to an understanding about this clearly very understandable mistake. Right? Right.

[ pause at the sound of the guards advancing before Flynn asks the question again, even less uncertain than before. ] Right?

Oooookay. I guess not... So. Bye! [ the sound of a struggle follows, metal clanging together, things being knocked off shelves, possibly even the sound of a shelf being knocked over, all accompanied by a sound of someone running and muttering to himself ] How in the world do I-- Where is the-- Oh. Okay. That’s obvi- [ another sudden yelp ] Let go! Let go! I haven’t even DONE anything this time! I haven’t--

[ the door opens and Flynn yelps again, this time in pain. ] And then someone punches me in the face. Wonderful.

[There's a brief moment of silence, save for the obvious sounds of all sorts of chaotic things happening in the distance, then Rapunzel lets out a happy squeal.]

Eugene! There you are! [there's a bit of shuffling, fabric brushing against fabric, as she hugs him] Were you in there too? I didn't see you. Just the guards. Weren't they amazing?! They even gave me a gift! Look!

[another pause then, curiously with a touch of concern]

Where's Maximus? Wasn't he with you? Oh! Of course. He wouldn't be in the castle, would he? [she laughs lightly]

Well come on! Let's go find hi- [she immediately stops speaking as she finally turns around and notices the city; for a second, she's silent, then she squeaks in fear]

[ Even as he’s rubbing his nose and gets caught offguard by the hug, the most audible part of his reaction is a sigh of relief at actually realizing that he’s not here by himself followed by a much less...discernible sigh. ] At least we didn’t get arrested. Whatever that was.

[ Moving his eyes up and away from her when she froze as she turned, he followed suit, not really sure how to react to right now, but decided that being scared wasn’t really an option right now ] This...is not the kingdom. This is- What is this?

There's a bit of a problem.

It would appear Claire is...well...gone.

Well, it certainly is nice to see so many people in such good spirits. The people really are embracing the true meaning of the Christmas, if the kindness and generosity I've seen so far is anything to go by. It's wonderfully refreshing.

And it is, of course, so nice to be back here again.

If I hear one more caroller attempt to squawk out a rather terrible rendition of the birth of The Son, I am not to be held responsible for my actions. They certainly had it coming.

Furthermore, if another miniature-sized local attempts to toss a snowball at my car, it will not end well for them.

Now. With that out of the way, who is still here and worth mentioning?

Crowley's gone. I went into his office and he's not there. And none of his stuff is there. And texting him didn't work. And now I'll never see him again unless Morgan Freeman brings him back because I'm not from his stupid reality.

And Dean is gone too. Not Claire's Dean. Mine and Cas'.

I hate this. I don't want to like people. They just leave, they always leave, and being sad sucks. :(

Right then.

For those of you who haven't figured it out, or are too stubborn to accept it, let me clarify something for you right now in the interest of preserving my own sanity.

FILTERS. DO. NOT. CURRENTLY. WORK.

Now before you decide to point out how utterly fantastic you are with technology, or whine about how it isn't fair, allow me to say one more thing.

I. Don't. Care.

I don't care if you're Bill Gates himself, or even someone who believes he makes Bill Gates look like a right dolt (I'm looking at you - both of you, really - as I type this, Stark). I don't care if you're from Above, or Below, or Somewhere Else Entirely. I don't care. The PDAs will still not filter things for you, no matter how much you might wish otherwise. You can't send texts either, for that matter. Not without assaulting the rest of us with your inane dribble, that is.

So for the love of whatever it is you love the most, stop trying to have private conversations in a public forum while assuming that maybe you'll be lucky enough to make the filtering system work for you. Currently it doesn't and I doubt it will again until dear old Uncle Asaph decides otherwise.

Now stop with the proclamations of love, the interrogation of people you claim to be friends with who might have steered you wrong, the solicitation of advice from a select few, or whatever else you might intend to be private that won't be. It's giving me a headache and, if I have to take time out of my very busy schedule to respond to these things personally, you aren't liable to enjoy the results.

Thank you. That is all.

Right then. Today was a right fucking headache. I don't know about anyone else, but I could use a drink. Or several. Actually, yes, several sounds good. Fantastic really. Abso-bloody-lutely fantastic. Maybe if I drink enough, I can forget about the idiots I've had to deal with today. Unlikely, but it's still possible. Humans really can be idiots, can't they? Don't worry, it's not your faults. It's a human thing. And it's not like it's all of you. Just a distressingly large majority.

( Crowley )

I was supposed to arrive in Gehenna for a meeting. This isn't Gehenna. It resembles Assiah, but I know it isn't. Earth has one moon.

Lord Zaphikel, are you there? Is this a test? This isn't Disneyland either...

Tell me where I am! Please!

( Filtered to (her) Angels, both former and current. )

Zombies? Again? You really are scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to ways of entertaining yourself, aren't you, Uncle?

Still, I must admit I have quite missed this place.

[ooc: a little while after this]

Dean's dead. He's just... he's gone. He was shot by someone. There was nothing I could do.

If anyone needs me, I'll be with my children for a while. The video store is closed until further notice.

( Filtered to Sam )

Frebourne doesn't have dirt roads. I'm afraid I don't know exactly where I am as the stone guards weren't of any help.

Why is this contraption telling me 110A. Is that a real live horse?

I'm in bad trouble.

Wow. This place sure has changed since I was here last. Still just as loud, though.

I must say I have rather missed this place.

Of course, I do remember people being a touch more polite last time I was here, but I suppose everyone is entitled to bad days.

( Ellen Harvelle )
I have something at my shop that might interest you.

( River Tam )
How have you and Cat been holding up?

Can't say I remember the city being quite this inhospitable the last go round. Almost enough to make a demon not feel welcomed. I'd even go so far as to say I'm hurt but I think we all know that would be stretching it a bit, even for me.

Now then. What have I missed?

As I can't see my boyfriendAnyone want to hang out?

Right. So I'm stuck here now? All that time getting a physical form back together and I'm shoved into someone's display cabinet?? Seriously?!?

Your Knights are fighting each other. You might want to send a handyman over before someone's helmet gets lost under a bookcase.

( OOC: Shortly after this. )

Glorificus will be dealt with tomorrow.

I'm only sorry I couldn't do anything before now.

( Filtered to Aziraphale )

( Filtered to the remaining Sanctuary crew )

( Filtered to Sam Winchester )

I've bought you all a night, perhaps tomorrow morning as well.

I strongly suggest you make the most of it and find some way to stop this creature before I do.

It's back. It's heavy and there's singing in the trees. Not as quiet as it was.

Don't want to be like this anymore. Someone put me out of my misery.

Brothers...

I know this is a bit unusual--I know, what else is new?--but I thought perhaps we might spend some time together this week. Break bread. Maybe share a bottle of wine? If any of you are amenable. Angelic counterparts and significant others are welcome. I dare say we can even do pizza and beer if that's more your speed. Let me know.

Note to self: Lack of ability means you have to use a potholder when grabbing a pan from the oven. At least I can still type with one hand. It's just really slow going.

And anytime this place wants to set things right again, that'd be super.

( Filtered to Aziraphale )

So this is what drunk feels like.

No wonder you bumbling idiots are always so keen to do it.

( Aziraphale )

Show of hands, now. Who missed me?

Angel, Adam, I best be seeing your hands front and center.

Where's Serenity?

Simon? Captain?

It seems as if Crowley has been sent back home. And Jade is gone as well.

I must confess the way people come and go continues to baffle me. There is no sense to it that I can see.

( Filtered to Adam )

( Filtered to Aziraphale and Gabriel )

( Adam Young, Molly Suresh, Anthony J. Crowley, & Aziraphale, and visible to Jude & Gabriel )

I can hardly say I've missed this city especially, but I suppose there's no point in railing against that which cannot be changed.

( Helen )

( Nikola )

( Ashley )

( James )

Oh, I have missed this old thing.

It seems as though this place has finally decided to give us a pleasant turn.

[Voice Post]

Is there anyone who could teach me how to read? I'd like to learn.

Aziraphale, if you would be so kind as to keep that promise you made, I'd appreciate it.

[ooc: only aziraphale is capable of responding to this message, but it is viewable by the general public.]

( Gabriel, Aziraphale, Adam Young, Jade, Cas, Future Dean, Parker, Loki, Tessa. )

The zombies are gone.. For that I'm glad. My Papa is also, apparently, gone.

Needless to say I'm not glad at all about that.

( Elaine )

( Aziraphale and AJ Crowley )

O grave, where is thy victory?
O Death, where is thy sting?

Congratulations Dean, Claire.

I am very pleased for you.

( Serpent )

( Father )

( Jade )

( Adam, Ben, Molly, Jude )

( Claire )


In all honesty, the vast majority of you give me a headache and I dearly wish you would all shut the fuck up about your problems. This may be uncharitable, but it is true.

I actually find it quite hilarious how the lot of you continually underestimate me. Please do some research. It is not so difficult.

Bugger.

I suppose this is just the newest trick of this place.

I swore, after what happened in the seventeenth century, that I would never experiment with being female again.

I don't care how or why they went off, but the lights need to come back on, like, five minutes ago. I have paperwork to do and I refuse to do it by candlelight.

I suppose it's nice to know this place hasn't changed very much.

( Filtered to Aziraphale )

( Filtered to Castiel )

Well, that was entirely unpleasant.

( His Crowley )
I'm sor Forgiv I would neve Damn it all

I miss you.

Is this what it's like for the rest of you? Fogged over and just dismissing every little thing that doesn't make sense, just taking for granted that it's fine? American accents! No tickets. A new phone. A room just so happened to be reserved when neither of us did anything. No regular internet access, just some pathetic facsimile.

There were so many little things I should have noticed!

Rumors of my death have been greatly over exaggerated.


( Mary Winchester )

Cat and I will be staying at the bookshop for a while, until I find a new place.

If anyone needs me, that's where I'll be.

( Filtered to A. J. Crowley )

It's not even noon and I'm awake. Something is wrong with this picture. And the next time someone parks outside the apartment and blares their music so loud it shakes me out of my bed, I'm going to

( Filtered to Aziraphale )

The bloody hell is this?

Bloody rude, that's what it is.