( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

This place really is all kinds of swings and roundabouts, isn't it?

Justin, don't worry, you can still stay here if you want.

Cobb, don't freak out. Please.

[OoC: Yes, hello, Eames is a woman again :D]

What is this sorcery?


((dream as kai`ckul))

I would just like to say that it's entirely too early for this.



((ooc: ladies and gentlemen, meet vampire!Huck, from an unspecified point in colligo future. i'm sure he'd love to eat meet you. ;p))

[There's a bit of rustling about then a low hissing sound, followed by a young, feminine-sounding gasp.]

Where'd you come from, kitty? You look like my kitty 'cept you don't-

[There's a sound that's definitely feline in nature, followed by another - slightly different sounding - meow in the background. The confusion gives way to excitement.]

There you are! Where'd your friend come from, huh? How'd I get two of you?

[The meowing gives way to purring and the girl giggles.]

You're silly. C'mon, kitty. We need t'go find out who's still here. [a pause] No, kitty! No flying! We're gonna walk.

[There's a loud crashing sound and another gasp.]

Uh-oh. I don't think older me's gonna like it that you broke that... [a pause] Oh well, c'mon! I'll race you! On your mark, get set...

[ooc: ickle!ashley magnus, back again!]

This is ridiculous. It's hard enough for me to find a meal around here that meets the hypocritical standards of everyone in this city. Now that I can't seem to lie no matter how hard I try, it's becoming almost impossible. People aren't very keen on getting close to me when I feel compelled to tell them exactly what I'm going to do to them.

At this rate, I'm going to end up starving. If I don't jump out my window at high noon when the dementia takes hold of me, first.

Mr. Arthur? Ariadne? Hello?

I let Escher out but this isnt the flats from last time and Escher is BIG and

hello?

The devices in this city are beyond incredible; I am quite taken with the large pictures that tell stories, I must admit. I think one would look quite well above the fireplace in my suite in Cair Paravel.

By the by, do any of the creatures here talk? I only ask because a handful of cats have been following me every time I leave the building, but none of them reply when I ask how they are. Not in English, at least.

My boyfriend is a teenager. A teenager who I just caught going through my underwear drawer. This is so weird.

...I swear, I warn't that drunk last night. I don't even like t'drink, so how...

[sounds of rustling fabric, as if the phone is being sat upon, & the message cuts out]

Would anyone care to explain what, exactly, is going on? There are a lot of very odd things in this house including one Dominick Cobb, and coupled with the posts on this network, I think there's a story I need to hear.



[OoC: have Eames, taken from the day Cobb meets up with him in Mombasa]

So I hate to be the little witch that cries we might have a problem but, well, we've gone through something like this in Sunnydale before. The whole bursting into song thing, I mean. And, okay. So Xander isn't here, so it's probably not the exact same thing but I figure I might as well ask since it's the easiest way to make absolutely sure.

Nobody has spontaneously combusted while singing and dancing, have they? Obviously not you, as in you you, because then you would be dead and not able to respond - unless you could, in which case good for you! But I'm more talking about people in the city. The locals and stuff. No one in flames while singing about deep, dark secrets or anything. Right?

This place is bloody ridiculous.

Everyone knew that. Right, carry on.

I don't like this.

Well this is certainly annoying. I really don’t like someone else being in control of my body. Long story but there are some good reasons behind that. I guess this swap thing could be worse at least.

Dear Balthazar,
I have your body. Do try not to have too much fun with mine.
D

Cobb? Did you sign us up for a job and not tell me? And somehow force a Forgery on me?

And why the hell did you dream up the network?

A cat followed me home. Does anyone want it? They'll have to rescue it, Escher's got it hiding in the oak at the back of the house.

Why the fuck are all those people coming back, and Ariadne hasn't come back yet? Or Reg or Sirius?

I think I might grow a beard. I say that like it will take effort to not-shave.

Or maybe I could try and grow a pet milk in my store room.

Or something.

Imagine I said something witty, thought-provoking and possibly even profound here, please. I can't be bothered thinking something up.

Nice day for a walk in the park.

Eames, I'm going to take Escher for a walk.

Sirius is gone.

Well, this sure is interesting.

Shit. While trying not to become another horror movie casualty, I completely forgot about my birthday. Last Thursday I turned twenty three and I spent it working without even realizing what day it was. So, now that the streets are relatively safe, who wants to go out tonight?

Christ, my throat

OoC Warning! 'Salem's Lot vampires, creepy child, blood, death.

( Something wicked this way comes )

One month today.

I want to g

I started drin

i hate this pla

fuck.

Freddy Krueger? Really?

Did anyone else get a nighttime visit?

If Eames can be a teacher, I can be a...psychologist. I figure I'll specialize in dream interpretation. Not exactly what I was doing before, but it's related. Sort of. Maybe?

Problem is I need a job, in the meantime. And I'm not interested in flipping burgers or whatever. Why is the job hunting process so exhausting?

Again? If we're repeating things, can't we go for the more enjoyable things, like ooooh I don't know, switching genders or being eight years old again or something that isn't bloody zombies?

[Justin]
I haven't heard from Arthur for weeks now and I know this used to freak him out. Do you know if

Do you know if Arthur's alright?

Have you heard anything from Arthur?

There is a moat full of lava around the house which wasn't there last night. Front, back and sides. And when I say moat, it's more like the house (and gardens) is on one of those 100-foot tall sea stacks. And the moat itself looks to be about 20-foot wide. And Escher and I nearly fell into it this morning when we went to go for our walk.

Pros

- Saving on heating.
- Amazingly good for getting rid of the shit Arthur left behind that I don't want rubbish and the like.

Cons

- Stuck in the house.
- Stuck in the house with Cobb and Escher.
- Too hot for tea.
- Stuck in the house with Cobb and Escher who do not like each other at the best of times.
- There's a lava moat around the house.
- Lava. Moat.
- The trees at the bottom of the garden are NEVER going to be the same. Since they are more than a touch singed. Otherwise, I might have tried to come up with a way of getting out that used them. They're more than a bit charcoaly, though.

So, in summary, this is shit.

Well, this is an interesting turn of events, if I do say so myself.

There are cats in my classroom. And pigeons.

They're painting. It's... not bad actually. There are cats painting in the style of Renoir in my classroom. I think the pigeons are just shitting on one of the canvases and trying to pass it off as modern art, but that's down to personal opinion.

Class is postponed for a short while until I make a run for the nearest chemists to get antihistamines, unless someone in my class has any with them?

There is a chameleon sitting on top of my computer. It thinks that I can't see it.

...and now it's on my head.

Speaking of amphibians and reptiles, Eames, whatever happened to the Aidan?

Ariadne has been sent home. She went home on the 25th. I should have put this on the network earlier but I didn't have my phone with me.

Arthur no longer lives here. If anyone is looking for him, he will not be found at [Eames' address]. No, I do not know where he is now.

( Morpheus )

( Juno )

( BORED. SO VERY VERY BORED. )

[ooc: edited after Ariadne's 'wtf' moment.]

Well now, this is certainly the most charming kidnapping I've ever been subjected to.

They even gave me a gift. How thoughtful.

Kiddo, are you around? It does seem as though nothing interesting happens in my life any more without you involved.

I'm so glad Sam gets to be with his family now, he's such a nice guy. I wish you guys all the best.

uuuuugh work. I would have been perfectly happy to stay in bed for a day or three longer.

Cobb, have you wandered off somewhere?

Cas is gone. One minute he was here and now he's not. This. SUCKS.

Mr Uncle Eamesie! I drawed you a picture just like the one on your desk! I stealed my daddy's 'puter so I can show you!


[Attached is a crude drawing, based on a shot of Eames, Arthur, and Ariadne]

Me not working tonight + my mogwai sleeping = bored Lexi. So I have decided to do that question thing, because I know you're all dying to know more about me. Also, I realized that next month I'll have been here for year! How is that even possible?

( Click For The Lexi Show! )

And now you have more insight into my life. Learn anything new?

Arthur? Eames? Ariadne? Is anyone listening?

No, seriously.

Something's gone wrong.

Oh bloody hell, this place is getting to me. I actually missed my classroom. Maybe I'm ill again. hmm.

Ruby, my lovely fake-missus, I'll stay in work as long as I can, alright? Although I will have to bring essays back to mark, I always do. Also, have you seen my glasses? I need them for work.

Jesus fucking Christ...I cannot get this apartment clean enough.

This is rather interesting, I must say. I appear to have snogged Huckleberry Finn last night.

[Sirius]
Are you quite alright?

I wanted to spend my wedding night with my husband. Not some stranger.

Screw this. Morgan Freeman, I hate you.

ugh fuck

It is New Year's Eve. I have been drinking since... I don't know, Christmas day or something. Or possibly lunchtime. Point me at a party. Cheers.

ARTHUR, ARIADNE, WE'RE GOING TO A PARTY

We've got gremlins. Listen up, or the eyeball equivalent.

WARNINGS:

• Get kids, animals, and anyone else who can't defend themselves to safety. Gremlins are violent and they've already attacked children and a velociraptor and temporarily killed someone.
  
• DO NOT USE WATER. Guess how gremlins reproduce? The city water supply just got shut off, but play it safe-- ditch your bottled water if you have that, and stay away from bodies of water that can't be drained. You can still use other liquids, but avoid plain water. Invest in perfume ETA: The Rani is working on a gremlin-specific water soluble toxin.
  
• DON'T FEED THEM, specifically after midnight, but just in general, DON'T FEED THEM.
  
• If you've heard the old pilot stories about gremlins sabotaguing machinery, guess what? True. Be careful what you rely on, because it could go very wrong for you if gremlins play with it.
  

Things to know:

• Gremlins are pests. Your moral stance on how to deal with sentient homicidal pests may vary. Unless you have, say, a horse and cart to haul them waaaay out of the city since automobiles would mean epic fail, you might want to avoid engaging them yourself and leave pest control to someone else. ETA: Bodyguards and other help:
  • Jane Shepard will take care of the shooting.
    
  • Ashley Magnus can teleport you to safety.
    
  • Lily Potter can as well, and she can put up defensive wards if you want them.
    
  • Nessie Cullen can deal with them for you in a less shooty way.
• Gremlins vs. sunlight -- WINNER: LIGHT. Anybody have thoughts on how to rig those UV tanning beds up like flood lights? Other lights freak them out, too. The daylight'll keep them hiding, but at night, we can still fry 'em. ETA: Any light, just crank it up. If you can move stadium lights from the stadium to brighten high traffic areas or otherwise rig up some brightness, do it.
  
• Speaking of frying, you can electrocute the hell out of them. Lots of things work-- just don't try drowning them.
  
• My brilliant husband pointed out that we could distract them with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Seriously. If Claire's store has a copy that could be removed from the premises, or anybody else happens to have it, let's gather up some AV equipment and find a central location to project it and lure in the gremlins. Don't bring equipment you can't stand to possibly lose. Claire has contacted a theatre about running it tonight, but we'll need to deal with the gremlins in there some other way besides a movie-style burning-down-the-house. Maybe my ridiculous tanning bed idea? Anyone who's up for barricading the gremlins in and shooting the hell out of them, volunteers welcome.

What are these green creatures that break into apartments? Are they common here?

I was filling a bath when one burst in on me. It developed disgusting sores on its back that grew into more creatures. I managed to strangle the first with a hair dryer cord before it could do much more damage, and then I threw the dryer in the tub to deal with the new ones. That seemed to work. I think the bathroom is ruined now.

What do I do with the bodies?

Either I'm seeing things or Yukon fucking Cornelius just walked into the casino.