( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

MOrgana! Albus! Azazel! Me and Morgause went to the park for a lesson and she let me put the fire on the lake and it went all huge and it was so hot! But then it got too big so we had to put it out but it was massive! And she said that one day soon I'll do it with no help at all and be able to do it all on my own!!

[OOC: here]

With so many complaining of boredom, I'm contemplating a party you'd all die to be at.

Once more with feeling.

Except not. Round Two is even less exciting than Round One.

And I don't recommend trying to sucker punch the guards at the library.

I think I need to find a job. The savings I have will last for a while but The only problem is, I've never really worked anywhere before and I don't think even the locals would be willing to put me to work on missing persons. So.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Shame that is over with. It was rather entertaining.

( Filtered Private )

( Filtered to Azazel )

It's a sad day indeed when a demon has more faith in the Almighty than an angel.

( Azazel )

Anyone out there able to bring a few fresh zombies to the Lab? Or to the TARDIS. Alive, please. Well... not alive, but... never mind. Ideally, one of each type. Whole. But I could work with limbs. Or heads... Oooh! I'd like heads! Heads are good. Heads are definitely my second choice.

Thank youuuu!

Ugh. Zombies? How rude.

Is anybody getting this?

Right!!

Not to panic anyone too much, but both versions of me have been... tinkering... in the Lab. Looking at the zombies. And there seems to be some long-term potentiation taking place, enhancing synaptic transmission. I took a sample of brain tissue yesterday, and another about two hours ago and they seem to be becoming more sensitive to neurotransmitters on the post-synaptic neuron. Basically... well, they seem to be progressing. Evolving. Learning.

The one in the Lab's starting to work out that the cell battery needs charging every 68 minutes. It's been trying to make a tool. And that one's got a probe in its skull!! That's impressive. I'm quite proud of the little guy!

Like I said, no panic! Right?! Just thought people should probably know!

And... don't leave guns lying around?

Will someone take me outside again soon? I'm not afraid of them.

Oops.

Who brought the people back from the earth?
I don't like them. But the magic must be powerful.

Huh.

It certainly hinders an investigation when the corpse gets up and walks away.

Shit! Shit shit shit! Fuck!

Not what I meant! Really not what I meant!

Okay, everyone, don't panic, but there's kinda maybe some zombies running around. A lot of them.

So...

Zombie Fighting 101
• Kill shots. Don't aim to wound because then you've just got a pissed off, one-armed zombie who wants your tasty brainmeat. Aim for the head.
• Always double tap. Even if you think they're dead, make sure by hitting them a second time.
• Never let your guard down. You never know when those fuckers will show up.
• Empathy is the enemy. I don't care if they look like your mom, your brother or your best friend, Steve. Shoot to kill. No matter how much they care about you, they're only interested in killing or infecting you.
• Avoid axes. Zombie gore is messy and you can slip and fall and then you're screwed. Guns aren't the only answer, but they're the easiest and the quickest.
• If you're cornered by zombies and there's no one to help and you're down to one bullet? Do us all a favor and use it on yourself.
• Don't try to be a hero. You'll probably just get dead.

Any questions?

So this is what all the fuss was about?

I find myself terribly underwhelmed.

So this is Colligo? Huh.

It sure is loud.

Congratulations Dean, Claire.

I am very pleased for you.

Here's a question for you, boys and girls:

Just who here is afraid of me? Color me curious.

Come on now, don't be shy.

Isn't this exciting?