( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

Okay, so many things were wrong with that. SO MANY THINGS.

Cordy, I'm sorry I said you were a hooker with daddy issues. And I'm really sorry you spent two weeks thinking you were Peter's girlfriend.

Peter, let's never talk about that again. Ever. Except the part where you named yourself after Chris Argent. That was hilarious.

Katie, thank you for not showing any interest in me, because if we'd hooked up while we were all amnesia-y, Peter would think he was right. And he's never right.

Danny, I can't believe you called yourself Jackson. Seriously. Nobody wants to be Jackson. I should probably ask about the whole asking me out thing, but I don't really want to get rejected, so I'm going to pretend it never happened.

So I'm in this apartment and I'm not sure what's going on, except I apparently have weird amnesia, like everyone else around here. Oh, and my dad's here. I'd think maybe I just had a thing for really older guys, but he has a trampy girlfriend. Who's way too young to replace my mom. I have serious problems with this. I don't remember anything, but I'm pretty sure I have problems with this. Her name's probably something stupid like Brandi with an I or Tiffani also with an I or something trashy

Does anyone need help with anything? Because I could probably help with stuff if anyone needs it. And I really want to get out of here.

( Edit: Added later, filtered against "Chris" and "Angela", and all adults...but especially those two )
So my dad and his skanky girlfriend are going out. Who wants to come over? I'm thinking party. Who's up for it? We all have amnesia. May as well have some fun.

Now that things aren't so...awkward, I should probably focus on going to school. And finding a job.

Is there a high school around here?

As for a job, I don't really have much experience. Unless being an Avenger counts.

Well...this could totally suck more. I could be paired with sourwolf or creepy uncle badtouch But it's still weird being stuck with someone who looks exactly like my best friend's sorta-ex-girlfriend.

It's definitely nice to have a break from the Creepiest Roommate Ever™. I mean, I feel bad for the professor being stuck with the guy, but it's still awesome to not have him acting like a creeper 24/7.

Hey, Bonnie. Want to work on some inventory with me at the shop? And by inventory, I mean practicing spells. I'm really starting to get the hang of this stuff.

Okay. What the hell? I'm only 17. Not that I often play that card. Who does when they're a year away from being an adult? But this is totally not something I signed up for.

I guess I could have gotten worse, but still. Come on!

Right. First things first. I just got...here, wherever here is. I can't say I'm really familiar with the area, and those knights weren't very helpful, though the phone they gave me was pretty helpful.

Anyway...

My name is Cassie Lang. I'm sixteen years old, from New York City, a sophomore in high school</s>, and a Young Avenger</s>. I'm also supposed to be dead, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Unless this is heaven, or some weird limbo, in which case it's not like I pictured it at all. But since I seem to be alive and not a spirit or whatever you're supposed to become once you die, I'm guessing I'm not.

And I'm rambling. Which is probably a little annoying if you're reading this, but I think I'm allowed a little freaked-out rambling at first.

What the -

No. No, no, no. This is so wrong. This is wrong on all levels.

I have girl parts. That is not okay!

Abort. Abort.

Someone needs to fix this now.

Or kill me.

Killing me works too.

Oh god...is this on? Fuck. Fucking fuck.

Okay. Giant empty-- library? [ pause ] Either this is the most vivid dream ever or... Something really bizarre is-

[ the voice is cut off by a loud clank of metal ]

Holy-! I'm definitely not in Kansas anymore. And those tin men don't look friendly. Hey. So. Anyone want to clue a girl in on where she is?

[ the clang of metal on metal as the knights approach ] Do you even talk? Or- Hey! Whoa! I can walk. Let go! Jesus. If you wanted me to leave, you could have just asked.

[ pause ] Grab my arm. Give me a phone. Yeah. That makes sense.

[ the sound of doors closing behind her as she half mutters ] I'd rather people were shooting at me again.