( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

Sometimes I wonder if people really do trust me, or if they're just waiting for me to turn around and stab everyone in the back again. I mean, I'm nearly a hundred percent positive that Sam trusts me completely, but sometimes I can't help but wonder if he has this small nagging feeling that something's going to happen to cause it to come crashing down. I know he loves me, and he knows that I love him, and Caden. But I can't help but wonder sometimes if everyone's just waiting for something to happen that causes the "demon to go dark side."

I was just gonna pretend that I didn't do it, and say Old Lace did it, but I broke the china cabinet. I was running in the house...even though everyone says I'm not supposed to, I tripped at fell into it and it just kinda...fell over. I promise, I'll glue all the broken dishes back together, or buy new ones...I'll save up the money and not spend it all candy. Okay, so maybe I'll buy some candy, but I'll try my best not to buy a ton of candy, okay?

I still have nightmares about when I died. It's probably why I really haven't been sleeping all that well since I came here. And being alive again...as much as I like it, there's just something about it that feel unnatural, or almost wrong. I've been given this new chance at life, and I should be happy about it, not tossing and turning in my sleep at night, and wondering there's something really wrong about being pulled here and walking around as good as new. I pretend like nothing's wrong, but I have to admit, it still nags at me.

Even in this place where I'm not the only one with all this great power, I still feel like the out of place alien girl, even though there are other people like me here with massive amounts of power and then some. And even though I do have a couple of my friends from home here.

I miss my cousin. I have a feeling that if Clark were here, it would make this all a little bit easier.

I've gotten a little better about keeping my anger in check over the years, but sometimes it's still hard for me to keep my temper in line sometimes. Someone says something that rubs me the wrong way, and suddenly I'm gearing to turn around and punch them in the face. Sometimes, though it just seems a little easier to fight rather than talk it out.

( Filtered to Castiel )

(There is the sound of a fight in progress; metal hitting metal combined with an occasional grunt of someone human. After a few seconds there is nothing but silence. The voice, when it speaks, is clearly laced with a thick German accent and decidedly feminine.)

I told you not to touch me. Leave now before I tear you apart once more.

(A few more sounds of metal clanging together before the telltale sound of the library doors swinging shut as the knights make their way back inside to the best of their ability. This time, the voice is much closer to the PDA and just slightly winded.)

I wonder what you do... (Random sounds of buttons being pressed before a clatter as the PDA is dropped again. The girl's voice is wary.)

How does it know my name? What sort of place is this?

I never thought I could feel violence toward an animal. Considering it's our dog. But it was hard not to envision punting Escher out the front door about twenty minutes ago.

Ariadne, Eames, the clothes we left on the floor near the front door we might need to replace. We didn't take him out last night.

And after much transmutation of matter work, I have my bar back.

Lux is now open for those who want to come by.

Or if you don't, I can drink alone with my piano. Also acceptable.