( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

I can safely say that I am not amused by this.

Right. First things first. I just got...here, wherever here is. I can't say I'm really familiar with the area, and those knights weren't very helpful, though the phone they gave me was pretty helpful.

Anyway...

My name is Cassie Lang. I'm sixteen years old, from New York City, a sophomore in high school</s>, and a Young Avenger</s>. I'm also supposed to be dead, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. Unless this is heaven, or some weird limbo, in which case it's not like I pictured it at all. But since I seem to be alive and not a spirit or whatever you're supposed to become once you die, I'm guessing I'm not.

And I'm rambling. Which is probably a little annoying if you're reading this, but I think I'm allowed a little freaked-out rambling at first.

Okay. Morgan Freeman, we have to have a little talk, you and me.

I am girl. Now, I don't know what you know about girls, but we have vaginas. And breasts. We do not have penises, which I seem to have one right now. Not that I have anything against penises. I like penises, on men, which I am not supposed to be. Because I'm female, not male. I have a vagina, not a penis. Get it right.

This place has got one twisted sense of humor.

This better not last for the next six months. I swear, I don't know how to introduce the baby to her father, who looks like a mother, but is really a father.

I'm really glad that I have all my parts in place, although being a pregnant man might have been funny. On second thought, no it wouldn't.

Bloody seriously, Freeman? Couldn't have spared me again? Couldn't have at least turned me into a tall bird? Didn't think it was bloody possible for someone to be shorter than Buffy, but somehow I managed it! My coat is swimming on me and I don't even want to think about the sodding comments I'll get at the bar.