( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

What kind of psycho does this? It wasn't okay when the Egyptians did it, and it isn't okay now. My baby People are depending on me at home. I don't care if you've heard it all before-- I don't want to be here, and I don't want to lose any more time than I already have.

The rest of you, it's clear who I meant this for, so don't get grumpy with me over reading it. You could've chosen not to. If you have any better ideas on getting a message to our kidnapper, then I'll listen.

Does that asshole bring families here together, or bring one person and leave the other behind? I need to know before I tear this city apart looking.

Now that I'm not trying to avoid getting hit by crazy fear gas, I really need to look for a job.

Anyone need a lawyer?

I do not take kindly to being kidnapped.

Just ask the last person who tried. Or rather, ask their corpse.

Now...who did this? Come, the faster you tell me, this easier this is for you. You get to die nice and quickly.

[ooc: I'd like everyone to give a nice, warm, Colligo welcome to AU!Tasha, who never was never "saved" by Clint and never reformed. She is still very much an assassin.]

Father? [ pause before his tone gets more desperate ] Father, please! I know my arguments in favor of returning Thor to Asgard were not taken kindly, but I did not think my pleas would result in me being banished as well.

[ long silence filled with slightly uneven breathing ] This is not even the barren desert landscape to which you sent him. To place us both on Midgard yet separate us in the same moment... Even if I have not been stripped of my birthright as Thor was, I know not which direction I need to look to find him, Father.

[ pause; his words are suddenly coming out carefully crafted and elegant ] Heimdall, I know whether Father is watching or not, you can hear me. Open the Bifrost. Allow me to return to Asgard and speak with my father on this matter. Should he think Thor needs guidance, I will be happy to provide, but leave me not to fulfill it in such a roundabout manner.

[ long pause ] Heimdall? [ suddenly frustrated ] Heimdall! ANSWER ME!

Right. Let's just get this out of the way, shall we?

I'm Meri. Meri Winchester. Obviously, I'm no longer ten. I am, however, more than used to the crazy crap that happens in this city sometimes and, from the looks of it, right now people are being changed from who they normally are to some other version of themselves.

With that being said: ODDS ARE, IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE YOU ARE/WHAT IS GOING ON AND ARE NOT IN A LIBRARY WITH MOSTLY BLANK AND/OR MISSING BOOKS, YOU. ARE. A. DIFFERENT. VERSION. OF. YOURSELF.

So sit down, calm down, and shut the fuck up chill out. Everything is going to be fine. Or not. Depends on dickhead's, I mean Asaph's, mood.

There. That's my good deed for the next year or ten. Now you can't say you weren't already warned. You're fucking welcome.

Is it always like this?

( filter fail; Rory Williams )

We should probably find a doctor. You know, to check everything out. I know that we know her all grown up and healthy. Being here already changes things.

So.... who's here besides Barton, Banner and Romanoff?

Pepper? Thor? Rogers? Coulson? Fuck, I'd even take Fury at this point. And is there anywhere around here to get drunk enough to pretend that this makes any sense?

I may just take some of this guy's scotch. He's got excellent taste, but if he's anything like me (and the evidence says that he is,) there's a good chance he'll kick my ass when he shows up and sees that his booze is missing.

People love drama here, don't they? Not to mention broadcasting said drama.

It makes the Emerald City look

What was I talking about?

I don't know how you broke into my lab and, right now, I don't care. But you have exactly one minute to stop this crap and let me go or, I swear to you, I will blow this little illusion of yours right off the map. Myself included, if it comes to that.

The countdown starts now.

[ooc: everyone, meet zoe tesla from the same dark!au! as jack and meri winchester. be afraid. be very afraid. ♥]

This place just loves to keep things interesting. We barely even had time to breathe after that last thing. I guess Asaph doesn't like someone else having the limelight.

How are all you "new" arrivals settling in?

I know I said that I needed a vacation from taking cases.

This wasn't what I had in mind.

Oh well, I'll guess I'll take it. Hello again, 2012.

[OOC: Meet older!Veronica from an alternate Colligo future (not the one that Jack, Meri, and Zoe are from, a different, less fucked-up one). Veronica is a PI who occasionally helps out the police department. She's also a brunette.]