( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

I am so incredibly bored it is not even funny. My Sudoku books are finished, the crosswords are done and there's not anything decent in this city to steal.

Please someone come and talk to me before I find out if you can really burn a hundred and fifty calories banging your head against the wall...

What costs nothing
but is worth everything,
weighs nothing, but can last a lifetime,
that one person can't own,
but two or more can share?

I've been staying with Babs for the last few days and I think it'd probably time that I go back to my place. I guess I kind of hit rock bottom last week when Helena was sent home and the last thing I wanted to do was have to walk by her apartment on my way to my own, but I know that I'll have to go back eventually and if I can live there after having Lian sent home twice, then I can go back even with Helena not there. I'd just like to know why everyone I'm friends with gets sent home. First my daughter, then Forge, Kate and now Helena. All I've got left is Babs, Steph and I guess Jason is on that short list too.

I should probably also go back to the park and see if I can find that one arrow that I lost when I thought drunken archery in the middle of the night was a good idea.

My son is almost one. There is no word that describes how I feel about him growing up with his father not here.

But I should find a way to celebrate. For his sake at least.

I know I'm supposed to use this thing to talk to people, but it's been very unsettling here. Haymitch says that it's safe, but I have a hard time believing that. Nothing feels safe after the Arena. Still, I would rather be here than to go back there, even if I do miss my family terribly. In that sense, at least, this is no different than the Capitol or the Arena.

I guess it would help if I made some effort at a normal life. Like a job. I'm not sure what I would be good at. But I'm willing to work hard. Is there anyone who needs some help?

I never thought I'd go back to the way I used to be. And then just over three years ago I was brought here and over time I've gone back to it.

And I think I hate myself for it.

[OOC: Yay honesty plot making her say things]