( colligo ¬ get collected ) → network.

( There’s the sound of a scuffle before anyone speaks. When Charles does speak, he sounds a little winded. )

You know, Irene darling, this would be quite a bit easier if I had both hands free.

[Irene sounds amused when she replies. Each word she speaks is punctuated by the sound of something whip-like striking flesh, and masculine sounding grunts of pain.]

Then I suggest you free yourself, Charles. I’m a bit busy at the moment and we both know you’re perfectly capable.

[A man gives a hiss of pain then there’s a thump as a body falls to the floor. Irene makes a clucking sound with her tongue.]

And I’m afraid I’m all out of sedatives. Such a terrible waste on this lot, too...

( There’s a pause and the sound of a struggle before Charles replies. He sounds ever so slightly annoyed. )

Well, yes, my dear, I’m perfectly capable but I’m ( a pause and the sound of a punch and a groan of pain ) I’m afraid I am a bit preoccupied at the moment. Makes things a bit more ( more scuffling ) difficult.

( a crash and glass breaking )

Happy? And I will have that repaired. I promise. ( a pause ) He’ll be fine. Just some broken bones and a concussion...and, I imagine, a desire to seek new employment.

[Irene chuckles lowly.] As though I care about the window. Or his welfare. You really need to stop giving me such credit, Charles. I do believe we’ve already discussed that terrible habit of yours, yes? [There’s the distinct sound of something leather hitting skin and a male-sounding yelp.]

Or shall we discuss it once more? I’ve certainly no objections to another [another sound whack and another yelp] chat.

[A brief pause, then Irene’s tone goes from amused to annoyed rather suddenly.] And now, they’ve destroyed my favourite portrait. I do believe that is quite enough of that. [A drawer is pulled open; a heartbeat later, there is a loud bang as a gun is fired.]

You all have to the count of three to remove yourselves from my home or, I promise you, I will begin shooting you in places you do not wish to be shot. [a gunshot rings out once more and a man screams in agony; there’s the thump of a body hitting the floor and the screaming continues; Irene sounds remarkably calm, even a touch cold]

Anyone else wish to press their luck and attempt to approach me rather than making their way toward the nearest exit?

( Charles laughs, and when he speaks he sounds fond and a tiny bit awe struck. ) The things you do with a riding crop. Positively wicked. ( Some movement then a small, almost involuntary sound of triumph ) Ah. There we go. At least now I can say with a good deal of certitude that I can fight with one hand tied behind my back. ( a loud thump as a body hits the wall ) Now that I can focus ( a pause ) And I would hardly object to another chat, once we’ve dealt with the problem at hand. I promise I will never fail to give you more credit than you think necessary.

( Charles is quiet as Irene breaks out the gun, almost too quiet. He’s still not entirely comfortable with guns. There’s a sharply hissed breath when Irene shoots one of the men. The moment passes quickly though. When the assailants don’t immediately leave, he speaks. His voice has a hard edge. )

Gentlemen, you will be leaving immediately. Your presence is terribly bothersome and we were rather busy before your intrusion. Now go. Or Miss Adler’s formidable skill with a gun will be the least of your worries. The choice is, of course, yours. ( There’s something in his voice that says it really isn’t. )

[There’s a moment of silence then the sound of footsteps shuffling toward the door, followed by it softly shutting. Irene’s tone is amused.]

Very nice. I daresay I’m even impressed. Now. [There is the sound of handcuffs clicking into place.] Where were we before we were so rudely interrupted? I’m afraid I’ve completely lost track.

( There’s a pause and the sound of someone shifting. Then Charles speaks, his voice lower with a quiet intensity. )

I suppose that would be enough to make a lady forget. ( a pause ) A moment, darling. ( a long pause ) Oh yes. ( another brief pause ) Bishop to E4.

( OOC: Just to reiterate, this took place before the changeover from action adventure to zombies. )

[There's glass breaking and a low groaning sound that is somehow both human and yet not, followed by a sharp intake of breath. Sophia sounds downright terrified.]

No. No, no, no, no, no!

[Some shuffling starts out close to the PDA then grows further away, as does Sophia's voice.]

Walkers. There's walkers. NO! STOP! LEGGO! [a shriek rings out then the slam of a door, followed by an ear-piercing scream]

DARRYL! HELP! SOMEBODY! PLEASE! [the muffled sound of crying is drowned out by low, not-quite-human groaning]

First I get chased by ninjas (which really weren't that difficult to take care of), now I have zombies trying to eat my brains?

Luckily, the zombies were easier to outrun than the ninjas, as unlike with the ninjas, I didn't have anything to fight them off with on hand.

Still, I don't think I'll be going out anytime soon without a lighter.

[There's the sound of a baby screaming in the background and a lot of shuffling around; Meri's voice is echoing slightly and a bit hard to understand through her tears.]

DADDY! MOMMY! SOMEBODY HELP!!! [a shuddering breath]

I din't mean to, honest! I was just trying to put Gabbi in the big bin where the drink cans go so's somebody else could have a baby [there's the banging of something on metal and the baby's screams grow sharper] and then there was all these zombies and I tried t'get her back and I did but then one bit her and now we're in the big trash can and they're banging lots and lots and [she starts crying louder]

She's hurt and bleeding and [Meri shrieks, there's the sound of inhuman moaning, some metal slamming against metal, and the moaning becomes muffled once more as she managed to get the trash can lid shut again. This time when she speaks, Meri is clearly talking to her sister and not directly into the PDA, worry heavy in her tone.]

I'm sorry, Gabbi. Please be okay...

Okay, this isn't totally familiar at all.

1) This time it's not my fault. Probably.

B) Molly, want to come shoot some zombies with me? I need to make sure your aim hasn't started sucking since I left.

III) Now I want a Twinkie. Is that weird?

Well, the army ants being gone from the coffee shop is a blessing. A blind, flesh-eating swarm sweeping out of my latest shipment of Colombian was not a great way to start the morning. They're insanely hard to kill, except by setting them on fire. I really didn't want to do that inside my place of business, but you do what you have to.

But really? I'm not sure the dead humans (at least I assume they were human at one point) are any improvement over the live bugs. They are slower, and easier to see, at least. </s>I'm just so tired of dealing with the dead coming back to life.</s>

Now, really. Dead people should stay dead. Anything else is just inconsiderate.

Don't they care about the rules? They're there for a reason. It's like 'don't run with scissors'. It's all good fun until someone's lost an eye. Or had their brain eaten.

Again? If we're repeating things, can't we go for the more enjoyable things, like ooooh I don't know, switching genders or being eight years old again or something that isn't bloody zombies?

[Justin]
I haven't heard from Arthur for weeks now and I know this used to freak him out. Do you know if

Do you know if Arthur's alright?

Have you heard anything from Arthur?

What the

Why are there zombies? What kind of test is this?

Am I in trouble? Because I swear, it really wasn't my fault. Someone else was supposed to deal with the other one. I was just supposed to

I don't understand.