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At least I can take comfort in the fact that I didn't end up in Maine because my sense of direction is absolutely horrible.

Looks like I can cross getting randomly transported to some random small town in Maine off my bucket list.

Because that's exactly what I wanted to do today.

Oh my god, can we stop with the transporting me to strange places thing? I'm tired, I don't want anything to do with this demon stuff. I just want to go home.

Sam, are you here too? Where did everyone go?

Oh my god no freaking way this is AHHHH okay I can't say I always wanted to go to Maine because uh Stephen King is a good enough reason. Not the guy himself, don't know how creepy he is, but mostly because every messed up thing he writes about is in this state. And I can totally see it right now. I know there was that weird portal thing the aliens went through back home, but I should NOT be a part of it because I'm sidekick #2.

Also Darcy Lewis, sup everyone.

Right. Well then.

I'm Dr. John Watson. Anyone else have a splitting headache?

Well, that's one way to wake up. Good thing I had my wand on me

I'm Harry, by the by, Harry Potter. Who's all here?

This looks nothing like District 12, am I even in Panem? I don't know how that would be possible but the last thing I remember is talking to my dad. Right after Katniss and Peeta

Hello? I hope I'm using this correctly.

If you're seeing this, I suppose you've seen the Storybrooke Welcoming Committee by now, but on the off chance I've missed you, it seemed proper to introduce myself.  I'm Charming- or David, if you prefer- and I'm the Sheriff's Deputy here.  If you need anything, just let myself or Sheriff Swan know.

In the meantime, all you really need to know is that the best food in town is at Granny's.  And stay away from Regina Mayor Mills.  Trust me.

I went to go get the mail in Beacon Hills, and think I ended up at Comic-Con.

Any chance there's just something really weird in the water?

This place looks nothing like New Orleans.

So what the hell is going on? I'm going to rule out that someone sent a dagger through me again, because I'm quite positive I would have remembered it.

Although I suppose I should believe that magic had something to do with this.

Well, at least I finally healed.

[Message to former residents of Beacon Hills]
Has anyone gotten a look at this supposedly impenetrable magical wall?

Okay, I get most of this. Portals to other worlds. We're stuck in a small town in Maine with no mall. We can't leave. There's a girl who looks like my best friend but isn't a shapeshifting alien.

I just have one question.

Who broke magic?

I mean...seriously. What did you do?

You know, for a cute, ordinary-looking little town in Maine, you guys sure do handle interdimensional portals with aplomb. I guess Stephen King knew what he was doing setting all the evil up here. But then, I guess if you're used to killer magical walls, you can get used to anything.

So, speaking of magic - can somebody tell me how it works here, generally speaking? So far mine seems to work, except for being able to open a way into the fae world. Can't do that one. Any other wizards or fae here?

While you guys think about it, I think I'm gonna go look for a job. I haven't gotten to have a normal one in years.

At this point in my life, should I even be surprised that there is such a thing as magic? Still, portals to different realms, seems more like alien technology rather than magic. But who am I to argue? I've seen mad things in this world and other worlds.

Are we doing introductions then? Hello! My name is Rose. Don't suppose anyone's seem a mad man running around? Or a blue police box?

I'm not even going to pretend I understand this, and just hope it's part of these nightmares I've been having but if I'm wrong, I'm going to need a lot more than a room so I better see who's out there.

This is Commander Jane Shepard, of the Systems Alliance, service number 5923-AC-2826, to all Normandy crew and Alliance personnel requesting..

..Hell..I don't even know what I'm requesting. Someone? Anyone? The sky looks different and I'm not a big fan of waking up to questionnaires from strangers that give me answers that don't make sense, even if it is followed up by someone giving me spending credits and pointing me in the direction of somewhere for me to stay.

Well. This isn't the other side that's for damn sure. Beats being dead. Looks like I actually get to communicate with people. This is a very vast improvement.

We've been really busy over at Granny's, but I finally got a break and I just wanted to come online to say hello to all of the newcomers today. Or say hello to the ones I haven't already greeted in person. My name is Red (or Ruby if you like that better) and Granny Lucas is called that because she's my Granny. She's really more like everyone's Granny, but I'm the only one that shares the same blood as her anyway. Granny's is the local diner and the only place you can get a room for the night in town too. The food is A+ if I do say so myself. You should really try her strawberry rhubarb pie.

Granny's is going to be staying open late tonight just in case we get any stragglers who come through a portal starving or something, but we usually close at 9pm on weekdays and 10pm on weeknights. If we start getting enough business who knows though? We might be able to hire more people and stay open later. Drop by the diner and come say hi to me! I promise I don't bite. ha ha, Ruby, very

Well, at least it's not another hell dimension. I think.

...Any chance this town has a butcher shop?

Right, so I know all about magic, but this has got to be the absolute oddest thing that has ever happened to me. And believe me, when you're related to a Weird Sister, that is really saying something.

Is this really a thing that's happening or did I have a LOT more to drink than I remember?

I never thought I'd visit a place smaller than Bon Temps.

I woke up...

I'm pretty sure I was dead.

My crew...

I've ruled the afterlife out of the running of what this place is. But it doesn't really explain anything...like the fact the year is 2013. Huh. Time travel? Not the first time something like that could have happened but I'm not exactly on board with getting comfortable just yet.

Any crew members of the Enterprise, please respond. It's killing me to know if we won or not.

What an unpleasant start to my birthday.

Luckily we have the residents of 'Storybrooke' to keep us up to speed when it comes to certain things. I don't believe throwing the word 'magic' around is getting us anywhere at this point. Magic portals. Magic isn't working. There's a magic barrier around town. What we should really be putting an effort into is 'what is the source of the magic behind the portals' and getting it/them/etc to reverse what has happened. In the meantime, it appears as though the Mayor of this town and all the residents are being very accommodating. I think it's only best that we make the attempt to return the favor.