welcome to storybrooke ❧ network community

Since I'm pretty sure I'm about to go morecrazy without a story to write, I'd like to conduct some interviews on those of you who've recently found yourself forced to change which restroom you have to use in public. Don't worry, where I'm from this is the kind of twisted thing people do to play pranks on their friends, or take interesting vacations into the seedier nether realms that they'd be too afraid to visit in their own skin. No judgements, no reservations, just the facts.

Well then, this.. this is new. I'd rant and rave over how I need to get home, but I've been looking through the network enough to realize it's not going to do me much good. Besides, if I'm going to be honest, this place looks a hell of a lot better than home. A lot less mass destruction by spoiled super powered murderers. I'm just going to take this as a sign that someone is insisting, in an extravagant and inconvenient way, that I take a break.

So who can I talk to about getting a job at the paper? If I'm going to be stuck here, I need to be doing something useful. I may be without my other resources, but journalism is still the best tool I have left in my arsenal.

Well, this isn't how I expected my day to go.

I will be needing a new assistant, qualifications are as follows:

- Must be good with technology, profanity, and able to receive dictation
- Must love alcohol.
- Must not love, or offer the services of, editors.
- Preferably not an asthmatic. You will still be welcome, but your complaints are not.
- Must have a proficiency and ability to handle stress, violence, nudity run errands in a timely manner. My words cannot wait while you delay in fetching me the proper materials I need.

Payment will be made in the form of experiences, prior to the attaining of a proper expense account.

Serious inquiries only. I've already dealt with magic portals today, and find myself in no mood to entertain the company of professional time wasters. You can find me at the bar. Just listen for the sounds of shouting, or the frantic -- and insanely novel -- sounds of a scribbling pen...

Seriously. A pen.

Place is strange.