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This isn't...

I'm not...

No.

(Warning for possible Civil War spoilers in comments)

Avoiding the internet is not exactly easy. And there's a part of me that's curious to find out what is going on back home, only a small part but it's there. I'm just glad that the show isn't on the air anymore so I don't have to worry about getting it thrown in my face without warning during commercials.

[Filtered to Archer]
We need a date night, just the two of us.

Wait. When did they start showing Eurovision in the States?

Seriously, turn on CNN. It's the best form of ridiculous craic.

So,

What happens now? I mean, if we're here, do I get a job? Do we just live here? I mean, I don't even know what the point of any of this is? Why we're all here at all?

What do you all do every day?

[Fitz]

You have no reason to want to talk to me or to trust me. I just...nothing is the same. I need someone to talk to and you're the only one here besides Grant that I believe would be honest with me.

Please

[Grant]

How do I do this? Any of this without y

What the hell is going on?

Jemma, Coulson? Are you here?

What's going on?

I mean I know what they told me, but that can't be right?

Grant, are you here?

You know I'm actually a little disappointed I haven't found any of the themed Doritos this time around.

(I bought some anyway, for the record)

MCU
Assuming everyone hasn't already spread to the four corners of the world, I'm thinking that the Avengers and Co. should Assemble for a barbecue or something before whatever happens happens with the movie that we're all trying to ignore.

That includes anyone on the sidelines fortunate enough not to be a part of the whole mess.

How about it? Takers?

Maker's breath I must say, this place is fascinating. If rather inconvenient

But then, I suppose life never goes quite how one might wish.

Somebody has approximately five seconds to explain why I'm here and not at my wedding.

I miss Phil. If he were here he'd never hear the end of it and I feel cheated that he's not around for me to make fun of.

With the barriers down I guess we can go anywhere. I'm not actually sure if I want to leave town and do a little travelling.

You know, when we said "new adventure" and "vacation" this wasn't" quite what I had in mind.

Hunter, you better be here.

Okay, I've gotta ask this because it's something I've been thinking about since I found out the barrier was gone and I know that was only last night but it's been bugging me. I get that here I'm fictional or on a show or whatever the hell you want to say. It took me a while to get used to that but here at least I knew I wasn't alone in that and no one was going to think I was insane but if I go out there are people going to think I'm someone else or think I'm crazy or something? I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking about this.

As for the portals, well I don't think I'm going anywhere near those. I'd rather not risk getting stranded somewhere if they suddenly decided to close.

[Filtered to Archer]
So... do you want to go out there and see what the world is like?

Has anyone seen Archer? He's missing, his daughter just called me and he's not in his apartment, he was there and now he's just gone. He wouldn't leave her alone like that. But she's still here so that means if he's gone home he'll be back, right. Right? Whatever magic is responsible wouldn't send him back without her unless it was going to bring him right back. Right?

[ooc note - posted almost immediately after Daisy received this phonecall from AJ.]

I feel like I've fallen into some sort of routine here that I didn't have back home. I've grown entirely too used to this place that what I see on the television seems like a completely different life I can't and, frankly, wouldn't want to connect with. I'm dreading the possible trip home. It's been awhile since my last one. I can only imagine that it'll happen again sooner or later. No one's that lucky.

Grant. You aren't allowed to go anywhere.

I worry about Fitz. I worry about all of the team that isn't here, but I especially worry about Fitz.

I miss him. But things between us were so complicated back home. Leaving that behind here, both of us leaving it behind, was better. I wonder if it's selfish of me to be a little glad he hasn't come back. I do want him here. It's safer here and I would know he was all right. But I worry he wouldn't remember and there was just so much without...everything we worked through here. That we didn't back home.

john.

I don't love Fitz.

I mean, of course I love Fitz. He's Fitz. But I'm not in love with him. Not the way he's in love with me. I think, back home, there was just so much pressure. There were so many things...so many people telling me I should love him. It was easier to give in to that. It was easier to forget about what I wanted and focus on what he wanted.

But I want you to know, and maybe I should be telling you this in person but I've never been very good with words...not with people, face to face, that I am in love with you. Not Fitz. You. And I'm happy, more happy than I have been in a long time, to be building a life here with you.

Okay... okay.

This... this is real.

I... I remember being here but it feels like it was forever ago. How long ago was I here? Who was here last time I was?

Carl are you still here?


Archer? Oh god... Archer.

[Filtered to Archer]
Please still be here. Please.

I need to explain some things. You're gonna hate me but you need to hear them from me before you find out through the internet or by watching the show.

[ooc note - posted a couple of hours after this post appeared on the network. Her appearance back in Storybrooke was accompanied by a small localized earthquake that she quickly stopped but it was noticeable.]

( it cuts in on Peggy already speaking )

does look like one of Howard's infernal contraptions. How do I -

( there is a pause )

oh...there we go. I think it's already transmitting...

Howard? Mr. Jarvis? Hello? Can anyone hear this? Daniel?

Oh...bugger.

Just when I was getting used to the idea of a mostly snow-less winter.

I don't have anything against winter, I really don't but I feel like a freaking popsicle right now.

[Filtered to Ward]
What the hell were you actually thinking? What gives you the right to dictate anything in my life?

[Filtered to Archer]
I feel the need to apologize again, so I am. Sorry, so very sorry.

Be warned.

( Winter Storm Bucky Approaches! )

I've visited my fair share of small towns but Storybooke surpasses them all in uniqueness.

I'm bored, I know it's bad luck to say things like I want something to happen so I'm not going to say that but someone give me an idea of something to do otherwise I'm going to try and find something to do and might end up landing myself in trouble because I have a habit of doing that. But no suggesting trying to conquer the human race (Loki I'm looking at you) or other activities such as that.

I'm very sorry if I've worried anyone.

Things were just...complicated.

I'm doing much better now. Really. I just needed to deal with some things.

john.

I hope you didn't worry too much.

How have you been?

[ Filtered to Ward ]
I think I might be ready for that talk now, if you're free that is, if you're not then that's fine.

Jemma is at my place. She's sleeping in the spare room. I don't know what happened but she isn't up to seeing anyone right now. I'll keep everyone updated.

Please feel free to send food and tea though.

ROY
I love you.

( jemma's voice is very quiet and somewhat rough with disuse and it doesn't seem like she realizes she's broadcasting. )

What...how is this...

I don't...

I don't understand...

This isn't real. It can't be real...

Has anyone seen Jemma? She was coming by for dinner tonight but didn't show..

I know she has a lot of friends I still haven't met around here so maybe someone else has seen her and I missed the memo?

i made a mistake.

[Filtered to Ward]
can i ask you something personal?

( AoS spoilers )

So, I decided to buy the bar.

It's gone from owner to owner. The old girl deserves someone as stuck as she is.

So I did some googling investigating and found at that there actually is a show surrounding me and the people I know. First of all, weird. Second of all, why? And third of all, is it wrong that I almost want to watch it?

I also found out it only lasted a season. I don't know if I should be insulted or relieved.

I had forgotten how much I missed being able to focus on scientific pursuits. Working in the lab has just been so rewarding. I really do love it.

kennex.

Fitz and I have finished adapting a functioning power source for your prosthetic, in addition to making the adjustments to the prosthetic itself that we had discussed. I know the temporary measures haven't been quite comfortable for you, so hopefully this should make things easier for you. I'm sorry that the project took as long as it did, but I wanted to be sure that all the work was solid. Obviously, we'll have implement the adjustments to your leg, but I figured you wouldn't mind stopping by the lab for that. It shouldn't take more than an afternoon.

Що відбувається?

Captain? Romanoff? Wilson? What is this? I do not understand.

A woman attempted to explain things, but I am thinking maybe my English was not good because it made no sense. She said something about казки. Stories for children. Pietro always loved

But she also told me that you were here. I want to make sense of this.

Just when I think I'm starting to adjust to things I remember how everything is different here and that to some people I'm sort of like a fictional character and then it's a battle not to freak out all over again.

[Filtered to AoS]
I feel completely useless here and like I really don't belong. You've all been here so much longer than me and I don't know how to deal with that still.

Birthdays are so much nicer here than back home. I actually got to celebrate it. Had cake and beer. It was fantastic.

Well this is definitely not where I thought I'd end up when I woke up this morning.

If anyone wants to tell me this has all been a very elaborate joke then I'm ready for the reveal. Or if someone wants to tell me I'm actually insane and this fairy tale town is all in my head then go ahead. Right now I don't think I'd argue with you.

If there's anyone here who knows me then feel free to yell at me or come find me and help me understand what's going on and by that I do mean find a bar and drink it dry.

There's been talk about laser tag and I'm pretty sure that older universe is going to be part of it. So... who wants to play? If you've ever wanted to shoot another version of yourself this is probably the only opportunity you'll get.

Do you ever wonder what you're doing back home? Like at this exact second there?

If anyone was wondering if things looked worse than they were back home, they didn't. It was exactly as bad as it looked on the show.

It's pretty unnerving how you forget this place ever existed until you end up back here again.

[Filtered to Hunter]
I'm fine.

How long was I gone?
[/Hunter]

[Filtered to Jemma Simmons]
I know I'm probably still not your favorite person, but I did remember watching what happened, and now that I've been there to live through it I just wanted to see if you're still here, and if you're all right.
[/Jemma]

Bobbi is missing. I'm trying to not think about what she's going through. It's not really working.

I either need a drink or to punch someone.

It's either been a really bad few days or I'm still not right in the head.

[Filtered against Steve (mcu) and Sam]

Show of hands. If I fell to my death who'd come look for me?

I want to learn to drive.

I mean, that's a thing teenagers do, right?

Someone teach me to drive.

Oh! I totally didn't fail out of school, so I'm going to be a senior. Go me.

Talk about a headache.

Those quick trips back need to come with a fuck futzing warning label or something.

Nobody should ever experience three years in...shit has it really only been two hours? Because that's messed up.

spysassin house.

Tell me nobody panicked and set the fridge on fire.

laura.

You and the kids okay?

And how do you feel about maybe adopting a twenty-one year old war orphan with brain powers whose brother died saving my sorry ass hide?

wanda.

You still around, witchy?

How are you holding up?

Well isn't this quaint.

Okay.

Does someone want to explain what the hel heck is going on here? Because I just had a pissy midget tell me that this is a some kind of small town fairytale bullshit mess?

My wife is going to kill me

So I was thinking about Tommy's stupid post and how people kind of liked it. And then I found this post and figured whatever.

Malia Hale has a reputation for a remarkable talent at intimidating people. Additionally, she possesses the power to read the memories of others, however she must speak words of power to do so. Malia Hale is known for her marvelous knack at fighting in the dark and she is able to communicate with sloths in any language. She resists assailants wielding an accurate stinger that also grants a startling combat sense and she developed the talent to make hats appear from nowhere. Lamentably, Malia Hale is infamous for being woefully unskilled at seduction.

I went on Tumblr.

I don't like Tumblr.

Derek, stop making people on the internet think you want to have sex with my boyfriend. It makes me sad.

Stiles, stop making people on the internet think you're in love with my cousin and want his werewolf babies. I'm pretty sure you can't have babies, not even werewolf babies.

Three years ago today, I met the love of my life. Of course, he didn't know that then. And I guess I didn't know how things would go then either. But I did love him instantly. How could I not? He was perfect and wonderful and had perfect hair and a perfect smile with perfect teeth like a military cemetery. He was a scientist and he was easily the most fascinating person I ever met. I have to admit, I wasn't entirely smooth. I'm often not smooth. Also, three years ago today, we discovered there was a vast, underground civilization miles beneath the earth, below the pin retrieval area of lane 5 at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex. And the Dog Park, which no one can enter or look at or think about and which contains numerous hooded figures who are also not to be looked at or thought about, opened. It was an exciting day.

Two years ago today, I started dating the love of my life. This was, of course, after he nearly died in an attack by the vast underground city...which was actually a very tiny city ten feet below the earth inhabited by tiny people who worship a god called Huntokar. Or I guess we didn't actually start dating in the sense of going on dates until a month after that, but that night he let me know that he returned my affections. Also, shortly after that, we ended up here in Storybrooke. It was an adjustment, to be sure. Storybrooke is so very strange compared to my home. The schoolboard doesn't even have a glowing cloud that throws down dead animals as a member, and there are no mysterious lights or ominous hooded figures. And people seem to think Lee Marvin is dead. But we made it work.

One year ago today...well, really two entirely different things happened one year ago today, but such is the reality of being taken to another dimension. At home, in Night Vale, we overthrew the sinister corporatic regime of Strexcorp Synernists Incorporated, with the help of the massive winged figures all named Erika, with a K, who are definitely not angels, a masked army from a desert otherworld, my friend and former intern Dana and the pre-teen band of vigilantes led by Tamika Flynn. The man I love was trapped in the same desert otherworld the masked army came from after he saved the town. And Dana became the new mayor after an election in which she did not run, defeating Hiram McDaniels, the literal five-headed dragon, and the Faceless Old Woman Who Secretly Lives in Your Home. It was an eventful day, but also a sad one. And a year ago here, I married the love of my life. That was an infinitely happier day.

And today, on this day now, while much is happening back home, I'm sure, I am happy to know that I have been married to Carlos, the perfectly imperfect love of my life, for a year. Meanwhile, back home, I'm sure many things are happening that are amazing or terrifying or some mixture of the two. I'm sure people are living and dying existing somewhere between those two. I'm sure Carlos and I both are doing at least one of those things, perhaps in different places or times or both, but perhaps reunited. Even as our lives take two very different paths, here and there or there plural, I can hold on to all the good we've had together.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love my husband. And that June 15 is and always will be a wonderful and special day to me. And that the universe is a wildly unpredictable and frequently horrifying place with no rhyme or reason and no clear path, so we should all really just hold on to the things we have and hope that the future is less horrifying than it could be. Enjoy your lives and hold on to what and who you love, because life is short and awful and beautiful and frequently on fire. And at any moment you could die. Any given moment your life could end, most likely in a horrible accident with a bandsaw.

So. How do you tell someone you killed them?

This place has a fucked up sense of humor.

FILTERED TO BOBBI
Agent 33 is here. Watch your back, Bob