welcome to storybrooke ❧ network community

So, I get it. The seafood is good, and the living is clean. And apparently you send grenades for fun (which, whatever, not judging) ... but I have a couple of questions:

A) The wireless signal sucks, so where's the hardware store?
B) Does anybody have some fiber-optic cable? If not, how about a staple gun?
C) So there aren't any baddies to fight? Just people hanging out, going to sock hops and singing "Greased Lighting" ... ? (Don't lie. I heard you.)

Nutcases that natter on about nonsense and blow people up for fun...now it's starting to feel like home.

Nothing like a little explosion to break up the monotony, I guess.

So... this here town is made up from a whole bunch of people coming from different universes representing different movies, television shows, books and what not, right? I got that. Totally cool. I mean, it's a geek's paradise! Throw everybody together in a great melting pot of geek love and see what happens! What a way to break the Fourth Wall, and heaven knows that's what I'm all about. I only have one promblemo with this.

WHERE IN THE HELL IS THE GOLDEN GIRL FANDOM, DAMMIT?!??!

Bea Arthur, OH MY BELOVED BEA ARTHUR!!! When will I ever be united with yoooooou!!! Come with me to the Casbah and we'll make such beautiful music together I'm thinking reggae right now, or maybe 80's Bubblegum Rock?.

I know! I know! I'll make a request on the Wanted Page! That's it!

Okay, everybody check out the Wanted Page, coz I done put in my request. I expect a whole bunch of applications piling in any minute now. AAAAAAANY MINUTE NOW! Don't all rush. I'll select the best one out of the bunch.

Oh, I suppose while I'm here I ought to apologize for that hand grenade I sent Not!Coulson and Hawkbutt. In my defense, I did include bandages, in case somebody got wounded! Well, not exactly bandages, but something to stop the bleeding, at least. Sorry. Won't happen again.

Did I do good, Cap?

Oops, I had to edit a mistake on the request, but I fixed it now. ☺

I think I'm in danger of being a hermit. What do people recommend to do around here? Besides walks in the park, I mean.

This is completely unnecessary.