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This was a hell of a way to get out of detention. Was that mayor lady for real? Magic portals and fairy tales are pretty out there even for me.

Posted via Journaler.

I want to learn to drive.

I mean, that's a thing teenagers do, right?

Someone teach me to drive.

Oh! I totally didn't fail out of school, so I'm going to be a senior. Go me.

So I was thinking about Tommy's stupid post and how people kind of liked it. And then I found this post and figured whatever.

Malia Hale has a reputation for a remarkable talent at intimidating people. Additionally, she possesses the power to read the memories of others, however she must speak words of power to do so. Malia Hale is known for her marvelous knack at fighting in the dark and she is able to communicate with sloths in any language. She resists assailants wielding an accurate stinger that also grants a startling combat sense and she developed the talent to make hats appear from nowhere. Lamentably, Malia Hale is infamous for being woefully unskilled at seduction.

I went on Tumblr.

I don't like Tumblr.

Derek, stop making people on the internet think you want to have sex with my boyfriend. It makes me sad.

Stiles, stop making people on the internet think you're in love with my cousin and want his werewolf babies. I'm pretty sure you can't have babies, not even werewolf babies.

I'm quitting school.

It's moronic. I'm never going to catch up to everyone my age.

I'll just get a job.

[ filtered away from sam; ]

If anyone gets the smart idea to mention this "Supernatural" show to my brother, I will cut your throat. Don't think I won't. I'm not trying to be mean here or anything, but it's just a request. Me, asking a bunch of random people for a favor. He can't know.

[ public; ]

I think I need a job, I'm almost out of beer money. And the locals are starting to catch on that I'm hustling them.

Derek.

You've been in a relationship now for almost a year and five months. And you haven't died. And nobody else has died. And nothing has been set on fire. We're all very proud of you.

We were going to do something at the year mark, but we decided to wait a little longer to be safe. Then we were going to wait for a year and half, but we got bored. And wanted cake.

So, congratulations. There's cake. And balloons.

And this was definitely in no way Stiles's idea.

Maine? This wasn't where I was expecting to be.

Pluto's finally a fucking planet again. Idiots taking it off the list never made no sense. Screwed up the that My Dear AUnt Sally thing.

Roy have you turned up with powers yet? If they're the power to keep the living room free of your shit, it'd be a miracle. Also don't touch the putty. I need to put it into the windows.

Well, turns out, I'd make a terrible genie.

For the duration of this, nobody wish for anything around me. Verbally or in your head. It'll just...end badly.

Well, this town sure is picturesque. So...what's the catch?

So.... This personal scroll thing, one would assume it's delicate and probably doesn't function all that good on the ground. And, it's probably expensive. Right. Good to know, good to know.

The name's Jaune Arc, sounds exotic, the ladies love it. This place seems pretty nice. Comfy bed, swirling toilets, no monsters, I could get used to this.

Are people going to break out into song? This seems like the sort of people that would happen. So, the gist? Magic, portals, trapped, am I about right? Because that would sound batshit if I didn't spend my time with a guy who can control electronics with his brain, one that can teleport, and a couple musclebound numbskulls that can't get hurt.

Sooooo. How's tricks?

All right. Like Principal Coulson said, classes will be staring at the Elementary, Junior High and High Schools, as well as the Community College, on September 2, which is this Tuesday. For those of you who don't know me, I'm Kitty Pryde, the town's educational advisor.I'll be taking registration for any recent arrivals, as well as updating information for our other residents. All children and teens eighteen and under are required to register for school. Please use the following form to provide your information, or that of your child, and we'll get everyone into the system and registered for classes.

<b>Student's Name:</b> <b>Age & Date of Birth:</b> <b>Parent or Guardian:</b> <b>Former Level of Schooling:</b> <b>Any Special Needs:</b>

We'll be doing one on one counseling for high school and college students, to help them pick classes. We will also be working with any students who have special requirements outside of typical academic programs, in order to best help them. The first week here is spent helping people to settle in, as we know there are often unique circumstances for our students.

Additionally, we could use some more help at the Youth Center, as several of our staff have been sent back to their own realities. If you have any interest in working there, please either contact me here or email me your information at pryde.katherine@storybrooke.gov. We'll be having an open house next weekend so we hope to see you all there.

Thank you all very much and we appreciate your help and cooperation.

To all our teenaged residents, consider this an official reminder that high school classes pick up for the year on the second. Also a reminder that superpowers, fangs, claws, robots, guns, and pets aren't allowed in the halls. Also gum.

[Locked to Nick Fury & Melinda May]
I blame you both for the hangover I had for what felt like a year, just so you know. But for the record, Clint found another home for the baby and we'll revisit the topic later.

Nick, if somehow this town manages to swap Clint into a female and knock her up, I am blaming you, and I will murder you, somehow. Nothing personal.
[/Nick & Melinda]

[Locked to Spysassin Home]
Why did I not rebel against the idea of running a high school full of superpowered teenagers and just go live in the woods?

I miss being a coyote.

Not...all the time. There's human things I like too. But I sort of wish I could turn back sometimes. I miss running.

This again.

I guess there are worse places to be. Not exactly the best timing, but portals aren't really known for that.

Kitty is missing.

I don't know who all is here from her world but she's gone.

I hate math.

I hate math and science and history and I don't understand why these equations have all these letters in them. Why does math need letters?

And why am I supposed to care what happened in...France...in 1612.

This is all stupid.

Hey, Stiles.

So you were talking about that movie again the other day and I was thinking, maybe we can do a movie night. And watch that Star Wars movie.

I want to see what happens with the Jedi and the Vulcans.

Would anyone want to come to that?

Hello.

I'm looking for a girl.

...Not just any girl, I do have a specific one in mind. Brown hair, brown eyes that are sometimes bright blue. She may have said something that sounded mean. She means it but she probably didn't mean to say it out loud. We're working on that.

I don't understand.

I mean, I understand. I'm not an idiot. Someone explained and all the words made sense. But I don't like this and I think it's stupid and pointless.

How do I go home?

Where's Stiles?